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Clips from The Detour - The Court (S02E02)

"transformed into something more."
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"Did it?"
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"No! God, no!"
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"Oh, that's so gross!"
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"Oh, God."
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"about all the girls you've slept with."
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"and then I stopped asking after those two,"
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"Oh, really? What were you? A monk in a coma?"
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"It already is."
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"Uh, just a few months."
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"Let the record show that these two"
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"constipating their marriage."
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"We barely left her place."
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"It's New York. Everyone delivers."
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"A large plain pie and a box of condoms."
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"Thank you."
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"You pizza-and-F'd with him?"
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"I can't believe what I'm hearing."
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"We've been hearing this the whole time."
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"Where did you think we were?"
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"Sweetie, it's perfectly normal"
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"to have multiple partners before you settle down."
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"Three is more than enough."
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"It's how you learn what you like."
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"No. This is not a teachable moment."
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"You two, come on. Let's go."
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"I have a right to hear this story."
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"But what are we supposed to do out here?"
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"Drink from the water fountain or something."
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"but upon my second visit, I left feeling that theirs"
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"to the legitimatation of this union under oath."
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"- There is no legitimatation. - Why? 'Cause it's not a word?"
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"Well, now is your chance."
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"_"
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"- Rabinowitz? - Yeah. It's a fake name."
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"Yeah, I know. It's a terrible fake name."
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"What's a Rabinowitz look like?"
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"I'm not gonna... No. Trap question."
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"Because I needed to make money."
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"Oh, my God. Oh, my God."
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"No offense."
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"You're looking very good."
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"Oh, thanks."
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"Oh."
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"So, um... what... what do we do now?"
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"You just... Yeah, sit down."
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"I cannot believe that I had children with a whore."
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"but I really hate that word."
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"And I prefer you not use it."
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"Well, you know what I hate?"
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"Having found out that I had children with a woman"
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"Congratulations, Raju."
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"And that is gonna get you a green card."
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"some tasteful wallet-sized photos of myself,"
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"two I.N.S. interviews, and answers to questions"
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"that will be asked in those interviews."
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"Now, just so there's no confusion,"
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"I'm gonna answer for both of us."
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"Your mother's name is Irene."
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"And your favorite food is hamburger."
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"I can't eat beef."
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"Well, you can now,"
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"Oh, sweetie, that's adorable,"
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"but we're never having sex... ever."
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"A few more."
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"My name is Virginia Montana."
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"My name is Dakota North."
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"Larry and I here are in love."
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"We met at, of all places..."
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"A barbecue cook-off in Houston, Texas."
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"Cooked on a charcoal grill, 'cause, I mean..."
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"Who in their right mind would prefer"
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"their burgers to be cooked on a gas grill?"
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"- Nobody. - Nobody."
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"His favorite color is red."
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"His favorite color is blue."
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"His favorite color is brown."
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"His favorite color is... a picnic blanket."
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"His favorite flower is a rose,"
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"Left... buttock."
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"Look, I know Russians get a bad name."
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"I know the Hutus get a bad rap."
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"so happy... to have found..."
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"- Khaleb. - Khalid."
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"I'm so confused."
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"'Cause I wanted to make more than $4.75 an hour."
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"'Cause I had responsibilities."
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"Responsibilities? Like what?"
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"Vanessa. Hey, kiddo."
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"Vanessa, wake up. Sorry, babe."
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"- She raised me, dumb-ass. - Yeah."
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"Our piece-of-shit dad walked out on her,"
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"and her mother was an idiot."
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"Robin sacrificed everything for me."
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"What?!"
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"What?! Where did all that money go?"
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"Do you keep track of every $40,000 you have?"
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"Exactly. Case closed."
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"Could we not make this about you right now, okay?"
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"This is about me."
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"- No, it's not! - Exactly!"
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"It never is. Nobody ever thinks about me."
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"It's all Nate and Robin, Robin and Nate."
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"I'm a much more complicated character"
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"than anyone gives me credit for, okay?"
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"Sit down and shut up!"
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"Especially a hot piece of ass like this one."
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"Do you know how hard it is to raise a child?"
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"Brought you..."
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"Her name is Noonie."
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"I come running."
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"He's such a douche."
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"Then why?"
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"I think it was the accent."
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"Sí. It makes your breasts red, Petirroja."
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"You... you thought it was "bird.""
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"He would just come and go, literally."
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"No, you can't take my Jimmy Eats World."
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"Well, I'm taking the Blind Melon!"
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"It was terrible. It was like a roller coaster."
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