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Clips from The Detour - The Court (S02E02)

"My question is... how is he as a kisser?"
The Detour
"But, seriously, how is he as a kisser?"
The Detour
"- After this... - Yeah?"
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"Why..."
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"Your Honor, if it pleases the court,"
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"Hey, what's going on here?"
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"to call yourself a husband, pal."
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"owes my client a boatload of damages."
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"- "Ay-en-day." - That's what I said."
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"He got his green card."
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"Is your heart racing?"
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"I like your accent."
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"I'm here to decide"
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"Oh, come on. It's not like you've told me"
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"because it doesn't matter."
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"You sure you want that on the record?"
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"How long did this go on for?"
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"I don't know. You're kids. Entertain yourself."
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"Robin Rabinowitz."
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"You don't look like a Rabinowitz."
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"I got this all under control."
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"How many more of these were there?"
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"Where we discovered our mutual love for hamburgers."
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"I know these people get a bad name, but..."
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"This is all they had."
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"I don't know."
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"And she raised that all by herself."
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"Carlos!"
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"- Oh! - You have to leave."
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"In my country, that is what we call an afternoon delight."
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"I introduced you to Blind Melon!"
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"Beck... Beckany, where else"
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"Whoa."
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"What is that?"
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"Yes, Your Honor, because it's mine."
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"- No. - Oh, my God, guys. Get a room."
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"No! No!"
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"You're leaving "Game Over" Green up there?!"
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"What is this?"
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"- What is going on right now? - You lost, bro."
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"I want a lawyer."
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"I'm pretty sure he could get"
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"any American woman he wanted for free."
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"Wh... He's nobody to me."
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"in the middle of the day?"
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"- How did you get that? - Social media."
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"It's like a D.I.Y. surveillance state."
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"Can't believe we're finally doing this."
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"- It really has. And guess what. - What?"
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"- We're gonna order a pizza... - Yeah?"
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"And spend the rest of the day consummating."
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"when you're talking, right?"
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"Would you let them have, like, one moment alone?"
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"Thank you. Right?"
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"All right."
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"Yo, dude. Yo, downtown."
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"I will now hear the divorce arguments"
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"of Camacho vs. Randall."
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"Psst! Good luck."
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"Ms. Randall, you are the defendant."
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"Defendant? What are you talking about?"
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"Uh, hey. What the [Bleep] are you doing?"
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"it's late on a Friday. I got Mets-Yankees tonight."
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"So what say us just cut to the chase, yeah?"
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"I'm sorry. You are?"
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"I'm her husband."
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"Actually, it is I who are her husband, Nate."
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"Actually, that is the literal definition of a husband."
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"beyond a reasonable doubt, that this lying, cheating..."
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"- Can I say "whore" in here? - No."
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"Lying, cheating hooker of a woman"
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"What the hell is going on here?"
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"Your mom just got served."
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"Served? I haven't even ordered yet."
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"Yeah, and joke's on you, pal,"
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"'cause we got nothing to extort."
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"- Oh! - Oh, yeah."
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"because we weren't even in a real marriage."
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"I'd like to see you prove that."
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"_"
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"Mrs. Randall, what year..."
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"Did you meet your husband?"
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"when he was born, 'cause I know that one."
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"What month?"
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"Meet or birth?"
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"- Meet. - This one."
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"It was love at first sight."
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"And what city was he born in?"
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"Well, that's a trick question, because..."
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"grown-ups don't have favorite colors."
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"Well, your husband was pretty definitive"
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"- Sí. Naranja. - Hmm."
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"In fact, it was the only definitive answer he gave."
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"What does he eat for breakfast?"
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"- Chinese food. - What?"
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"Tattoos?"
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"Yes."
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"It's... We're taking it slow."
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"Who discusses that kind of stuff?"
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"Fine. Then charcoal."
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"Who prefers ga... I mean, except my husband."
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"If you have entered a fraudulent marriage in an attempt"
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"to obtain citizenship for Mr. Camacho,"
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"he will be deported, and you will go to federal prison."
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"You see? Wasn't a real marriage."
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"It was a business arrangement they had."
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"A sexless marriage is still a marriage."
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"Ain't that the truth?"
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"Oh!"
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"I'll remind you, sir, this is still a court of law."
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"Ms. Randall, you do understand"
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"if you admit to a fraudulent marriage?"
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"It happened such a long time ago."
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"Oh, I can't go to jail."
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"I will not let you go to jail for me."
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"My heart is racing. Feel it."
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"Oh! That was so dangerous."
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"It is now."
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"No. No."
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"Can I object to this? I object."
The Detour
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