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Clips from South Park - Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut (S02E02)

"That episode is what we refer to as a cliffhanger."
South Park
"To find out who Cartman's father was, we told viewers to tune in four weeks later."
South Park
"Four weeks later was April Fools' and we thought it would be fun..."
South Park
"...to not air the cliffhanger payoff, but air something irrelevant."
South Park
"- A full Terrance & Phillip episode. - The viewers responded splendidly."
South Park
"We saved their comments on our answering machine."
South Park
"I'm gonna cut off your testicles. I'm never watching South Park again!"
South Park
"Think you're funny not telling us who Cartman's father is? I hope you die."
South Park
"I can't go on not knowing who Cartman's father is. I just can't. I can't go-"
South Park
"- Now can I have my medication? - Dude, do the dog dance some more."
South Park
"You want your medicine? Here. Go get it."
South Park
"Oh, no. You guys are jerks."
South Park
"...we aired the episode you're about to see."
South Park
"It's called "Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut.""
South Park
"Sobriety fills the laboratory as the men of South Park..."
South Park
"At the end of tonight's episode, you will know."
South Park
"Cartman's Mom is Still A Dirty Slut"
South Park
"- The father is someone in this room. - This is the longest minute of my life."
South Park
"Hey, Kenny."
South Park
"- You bastards! - Mephisto's been shot!"
South Park
"- Then who was it? - Who shot Mephisto?"
South Park
"Was it the school counselor? Was it Ms. Crabtree?"
South Park
"That poor kid. It must be hell for him going through all this."
South Park
"Who will they kill next?"
South Park
"Will it be Jimbo? Barbrady? The Denver Broncos?"
South Park
"I have to get out. I can't stand hospitals."
South Park
"Maybe it's better you don't know who your father is."
South Park
"No, don't!"
South Park
"Whoa, dude."
South Park
"Officer Barbrady, let's pretend we had a competent law enforcer in this town."
South Park
"That's a good question, Mayor."
South Park
"Let me get right on that with thinking."
South Park
"- And this one is so compelling. - Really?"
South Park
"Sure, this story has everything. People. Furniture. Talking."
South Park
"We'll get started with auditions. What part should we cast first?"
South Park
"- I want an abortion. - We can do that."
South Park
"- I see, so the fetus is...? - 8 years old."
South Park
"Eight years old is a little late to be considering abortion."
South Park
"- But I just don't think I'm a fit mother. - We prefer to abort babies earlier on."
South Park
"Well, that's exactly what I intend to do. Good day!"
South Park
"- Doctor! - One moment."
South Park
"Nurse, I need 20 cc's of sodium pentothal, stat!"
South Park
"We've got a shot cracker outside."
South Park
"We'll get back to you. I've seen enough genetic engineers."
South Park
"Next!"
South Park
"The person at Unplanned Parenthood..."
South Park
"...said you were who I had to talk to about changing the law."
South Park
"- Sorry, it might be a while. - Wake up, you son of a bitch!"
South Park
"- Who's that? - That's TV's Eric Roberts."
South Park
"Here we go. And, action!"
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"- Metaphorically speaking. - What about Mephisto?"
South Park
"Who didn't see that coming a mile away, huh?"
South Park
"...a shooter is loose in Colorado, and the residents are up in arms!"
South Park
"Here's your host, John Walsh."
South Park
"Welcome to America's Most Wanted."
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"...when Dr. Mephisto was gunned down in his laboratory."
South Park
"America's Most Wanted has reconstructed this crime..."
South Park
"What the-? Eric Roberts is improvising lines again."
South Park
"This is not a world I want to live in. It is an angry-"
South Park
"We seem to have lost our linkup to the South Park crew."
South Park
"Holy smokes! That blizzard is getting crazy."
South Park
"- Nurse, I could use some help. - Coming."
South Park
"Sorry."
South Park
"I have 100 people to tend to, and only myself and Nurse Goodly."
South Park
"What do you want me to do?"
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"- You can help us save lives. - No way, dude!"
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"- We're snowed in? - Yes, we're trapped."
South Park
"Like sailors on a submarine."
South Park
"I'm getting hungry too."
South Park
"Our only option might be to eat each other to stay alive."
South Park
"- They're screwing with the lights! - Who is screwing with the lights?"
South Park
"So far, everybody has a long piece of straw. We'll keep drawing."
South Park
"Could we hurry this up? My stomach is growling."
South Park
"- It's away from the hospital. - How do we get to it?"
South Park
"Team B will consist of Kenny."
South Park
"We will drink cocoa and watch TV until Team B makes it through the duct."
South Park
"...should reach the outer core of the generator."
South Park
"Then you can proceed into the generator and power it on."
South Park
"- Any questions? - No, that sounds pretty sweet to me."
South Park
"Right, then let's do it. Go team!"
South Park
"I can't go on."
South Park
"So hungry."
South Park
"Yes, of course. Nobody gives as **t about Eric Roberts."
South Park
"No! No, please!"
South Park
"This snow isn't letting up. We're gonna die here, I know it!"
South Park
"We'll give the storm an hour. After that we might have to eat again."
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"Doing what we must to survive."
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"- Do you have any wire? - There's no time."
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"- ...with his hands. - He'll die!"
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"- Go, Kenny! - Kenny, no!"
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"- Oh, my God! They've killed Kenny. - You bastards!"
South Park
"- The power! - Quickly, get the scanner running again."
South Park
"Thank you, thank you!"
South Park
"- What's that other A word? - Adoption?"
South Park
"I should tell my son the truth about everything. Good day, Mr. President."
South Park
"Where's the fat boy? He'll be delighted that Mephisto is awake."
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"- It's over. We're free. - Yes, but at what cost, Mr. Garrison?"
South Park
"Did anybody see that Terrance & Phillip Special last month?"
South Park
"It took a while for me to understand as well."
South Park
"You mean at the Drunken Barn Dance when we all got together with her..."
South Park
"No, no, not exactly. But she did have a penis."
South Park
"If she's my dad, then who's my mom?"
South Park
"Hello. Back already?"
South Park
"Yeah. Beep like a jeep."
South Park
"Do puffer fish."
South Park
"I'll swim. Puffer fish."
South Park
"- Hello. - What a grump."
South Park
"Jeez, Mr. Grumpy Pants."
South Park
"After the Terrance & Phillip episode..."
South Park
"Previously on South Park:"
South Park
"...gather to find out which one fathered this boy."
South Park
"Gentlemen, the father is..."
South Park
"Is everybody okay?"
South Park
"Oh, my God! They killed Mephisto."
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"- Is he dead? - Hey, this window is shot out too."
South Park
"That means the killer was not in this room."
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"- Or was it-? - I didn't find out who my father was!"
South Park
"- Is he awake yet? - He's bleeding bad."
South Park
"Don't let him bleed on my Meredith Baxter Birney towel!"
South Park
"- A Meredith Baxter Birney towel? - I was with Meredith Baxter Birney in this car."
South Park
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