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Clips from Peep Show - Sophie's Parents (S04E04)

"Have a proper taste."
Peep Show
"'Suck Mummy's finger."
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"- Good? - Mmm, very good. I mean, I've got a girlfriend."
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"'OK, I'm finger sucking."
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"'Is this wrong? Maybe this is totally normal."
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"Good."
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"You like it, don't you?"
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"'I don't mind, but eventually it's going to get cloying.'"
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"He used to enjoy lots of things he doesn't like doing any more."
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"No, yeah, I'm sure."
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"So, there you are."
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"- I'm a woman. - Indeed."
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"And you're a man."
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"Technically. Mm-hm. Yes."
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"'OK, it's not going to be just the jam."
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"'So what am I going to do? It's almost like a moral decision,"
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"'but not really, cos no-one will find out.'"
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"'Goodbye beard, hello familiar, stupid face.'"
Peep Show
"So how did it go down the pub? Make a good impression?"
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"But it got me thinking about Sophie, and the wedding,"
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"I think... I think I'm gonna call it off, Jez."
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"Wow."
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"That's... I'm impressed, Mark."
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"Well I had to pretend that, even to myself."
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"What sort of man would grow an unwanted beard to order?"
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"I don't know, it's difficult."
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"Somewhere with flowers, coffee and sedatives, medical assistance."
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"Maybe with music, but not too jaunty. Melancholy music."
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"Right. So where are you planning to find this"
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"magical musical break-up hospital?"
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"KNOCKING"
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"Just finish it now."
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"You don't just declare war, Jeremy."
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"You prime the press, you square the UN, you make up your reasons."
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"- Snore. - What?"
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"and to say how lovely it is to have you both here."
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"Night."
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"- What? - That, the smutty smile."
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"Jeremy, please tell me that nothing's going on there."
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"Let just say that nothing is going on there."
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"Yeah."
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"Actually, I did want to tell someone. It was so cool."
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"Jeremy, you need chemical castration, you're out of control."
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"- That's Sophie's mother! - She's hot."
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"She's not out of Hollyoaks! She probably had a ration book!"
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"I'm in the pub putting the hours in with the dad,"
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"That is not a good impression."
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"Jeremy, please, don't smile like that."
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"Sorry you have to be out here watching this."
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"Just me walking about, basically."
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"But Penny wanted us out of the house, and what Penny wants, Penny gets."
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"I'd just be sitting around with Soph. I can see her any time."
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"So come on, Mark, why haven't you told her yet?"
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"Shh, he can hear."
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"He can't hear. Can you,"
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"'Oh, shit.'"
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"Bottle cap. Another one for the collection."
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"I don't know, maybe."
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"I mean, she's so nice."
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"So what if I don't really love her."
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"You don't really love Sophie? >"
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"- What? No. - That's what you said."
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"No, no, because of distortion. There was probably a buzz."
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"There might be an ancient Saxon coin right here."
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"Stop it, Mark."
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"It's full of crap no-one has any use for."
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"Mark, if you don't love Sophie, you shouldn't marry her."
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"Yes, that's what I've actually been thinking."
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"That's what I'm going to tell her."
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"'The good-impression thermometer is reaching absolute zero.'"
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"You know what, I'm glad."
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"Well, thank you."
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"Sometimes, I wish I had the guts to say something."
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"Do something."
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"What would you do if you were trapped in a loveless marriage?"
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"Let it slide. So, what's the best bit of metal you've ever detected?"
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"'Can you kill someone with a metal detector? '"
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"lan, I just want to say"
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"that I know that people can be very stupid and selfish,"
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"but really, it's our fast-food culture of instant gratification"
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"Dan. Fucking Dan Walker."
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"Penny's probably been doing his curtains all day."
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"Show Dan who the lord of the manor is around here. What do you think?"
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"There it is, Dan's barn."
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"And you're sure you're poking the right man in the eye?"
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"'You think you'll be playing Monopoly, and end up an arsonist."
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"What was that? Trying to get him to poke me in the eye?"
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"Let him poke Dan in the eye."
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"So instead of you facing up to your responsibilities,"
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"poor Dan's going to wake up with his barn burned,"
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"Stop moaning. We're out with a man who owns guns."
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"but less of a big deal out here than it is in a major conurbation."
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"Like scrumping for apples."
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"That'll teach him to put his dick where it's not wanted."
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"(Mark) 'Oh God, I'm a firestarter."
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"Yeah."
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"Keep up everybody."
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"(Jez) 'A motherfucker, that's literally what I am.'"
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"Happy birthday. I hope it'll be a memorable day."
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"'Of course it will be. The day she's humiliated"
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"What happened with the beard? We didn't get a chance to speak."
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"Oh, that. When I was shaving, I sort of slipped,"
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"and I tried evening it out, but it just got smaller"
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"and smaller until I looked like an evil overlord, so I just lost it."
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"Oh, the new look."
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"I know."
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"'Yes! Your jurisdiction over my face is hereby rescinded."
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"'She does irritate me, but everyone irritates me.'"
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"I wondered if you'd listen to my track."
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"It's probably shit, but you can smoke a joint and it might sound all right."
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"Mmm-hmm. Great."
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"Oh, cool. It's got a Pret,"
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"Ta-da!"
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"It's yours. And Mark's. To do whatever you want with."
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"Oh, Mum!"
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"(Mark) 'Oh, my God."
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"'Nana probably needs the roof and brickwork looked at,"
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"'but apart from that, this is premium real estate."
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"Oh, Mark, Nana's house, it's all ours!"
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"I know!"
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