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Clips from Peep Show - Sophie's Parents (S04E04)

"I don't know, Mark, yours is very expensive."
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"'How the fuck did it come to this?"
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"'I'm getting married to a woman I may not love,"
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"It would be nice to get all spruced up to meet Mum and Dad."
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"- But they don't go with your new look. - 'I'm a bearded concubine.'"
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"What about this?"
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"The man was responsible for the deaths of 60 million people."
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"So?"
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"'That's the way things are these days."
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"Maybe he'll become an ethical porn star."
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"Or a supergroup. Blair on guitar, Bono on vocals, Clinton on sax."
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"That is definitely going to happen. Geldof's gonna shit."
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"Sophie bought it for me, and I decided to wear it home. How funny."
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"It's not funny, Mark. It's not funny at all."
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"What's wrong with us wearing the same clothes?"
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"It's exactly the fucking same as clashing, all right? Take it off."
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"Look, I picked up Music Of The Royal Tournament"
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"Or are you just going to bury them until they erupt as a massive stroke"
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"I know I might have mentioned some doubts, but that was pub talk."
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"You can't bring up pub talk in the cold light of day."
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"'Poor bastard. The women are going to make marriage mincemeat out of him."
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"I'm sorry."
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"Anyway, then Dad came and picked me up."
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"'I'm not part of the family at all,"
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"Then I went to Warwick, but I left after a term."
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"Pretty cool bag. I'll show it to you later, if you want."
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"Jamie's not such a bad guy. Stay."
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"And what if I don't? Are you going to shoot me?"
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"If you shoot me, I'll shoot you straight back. You do realise that."
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"Well done, Mark, but you've only winged it."
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"Don't stamp on it! Jesus. Wring its neck."
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"Sophie and Penny thought it might be nice"
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"he thinks maybe they'll let him play at the end. Maybe they will."
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"'Oh shit, oh no.'"
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"So..."
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"'Ugh - "sir". This isn't Tennessee, Mark.'"
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"Because if there's one little crack of doubt,"
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"Never get older, that's all I'm saying."
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"'if you live too far from proper franchised coffee outlets.'"
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"You need the love, Mark."
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"it's, you know, love."
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"'Just act normal. She doesn't know I'm not wearing any pants.'"
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"what with lan's mum passed away, we've got the Volvo and the Subaru."
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"'I mean, loads of strings, but just ignore the strings.'"
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"So, what you making, Mrs C?"
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"Oh, right, Blair, yeah. I see, nice."
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"Do you like jam?"
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"Yes. Sometimes I feel like I could do with a friend out here."
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"Yeah. It's good to have a friend."
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"'Do I suck the finger? '"
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"- Yes, I do like it. - Try this."
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"'Maybe she just likes having her finger sucked."
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"Er, yeah, yeah. I think so."
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"and how I probably don't properly love her."
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"- Yeah? - Yes."
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"I thought you liked the beard."
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"So, when are you going to call it off?"
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"I mean, ideally it would be somewhere with nice surroundings."
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"Yeah."
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"I can't do it now."
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"KNOCKING"
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"No, just practising."
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"I was showing Jeremy some techniques."
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"Please, no. Please, tell me no."
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"She had all this jam..."
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"Oh, you're a piece of work!"
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"and you're at the house banging the mum!"
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"'I am James Bond.'"
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"you big fox-hunting, badger-baiting tweed-shirt bumfuck homophobe?"
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"- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did."
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"I heard every word. And for the record, Jeremy,"
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"I may be a homophobe, but I'm no badger baiter."
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"So, I like your barn, lan."
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"Maybe that's why I feel so at home here. Ha."
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"For what it's worth, I'm sorry."
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"I'd rather you came clean now than start something that's not right -"
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"If you knew your wife was cheating on you?"
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"'Shit! '"
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"I know my wife."
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"And I know who the culprit is, Jeremy."
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"'Oh, thank you, Dan, whoever you are.'"
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"Out you lot go, I'm ramming Dan."
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"Maybe it's time I did something."
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"Er, maybe we should just..."
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"Yeah, let's get Dan."
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"Or you could just post something negative on the internet,"
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"that would send out a pretty horrible message."
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"This is the law of the jungle, this is an eye for an eye."
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"I suppose you're right. Plus, maybe burning stuff is, not normal,"
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"Exactly. I nick your milk, you burn my barn."
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"Ready for your big birthday surprise?"
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"'Should I? I mean, she's lovely, she's attractive."
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"Cool."
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"Nana's cottage?"
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"'Quick sale, then a cottage in the Ardennes. Or a flat in Barcelona.'"
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"'Who cares if I don't know if I properly love her?"
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"- Mmm-hmm. - Yes. What did you like about it?"
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"I like the lyrics."
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"There aren't any lyrics."
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"Here's Sophie, everybody, here's Sophie."
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"It's just, as a matter of fact, I've had a bit of a think"
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"God, no. Not because of Nana's cottage."
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"'And the fact that I don't really love you.'"
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"Boo hoo, poor old Dan."
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"Maybe you should make that your last glass."
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"There's a reason you're so sad for Dan, isn't there?"
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"Dad!"
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"Tell us the truth."
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"The truth?"
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"Mark?"
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"Right, thank you."
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"Yes, he has gone like a bit of a maniac."
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"'It's a nice cottage. He did burn the barn."
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"'Maybe I've gone over the edge, I no longer know right from wrong."
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"'Right. So your husband can kill me and your son can worship my stuffed corpse,"
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"CAR HORN HONKS"
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"Just say you never met me"
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"I'm not sick, but I'm not well"
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"Cos I'm in hell."
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"Soph, it's the wedding list. If some dupe wants to buy us"
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