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Clips from The IT Crowd (2006) - Calamity Jen (S01E01)

"Well that's easy to remember!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"which is quite tarty, and they don't necessarily go with any of my outfits..."
The IT Crowd (2006)
"Stress is a disease, people, and I am a cure!"
The IT Crowd (2006)
"There's too much stress around here."
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"More..."
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"Mayhem!"
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"- Are you ready to deal with it?! - Yeah!"
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"70 miles!"
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"are as red as a fire engine!"
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"I have invited Dr. Julian Holmes"
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"will be fired!"
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"Just... just..."
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"Just down angle a bit more..."
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"Just come in."
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"I'm gonna need a volunteer."
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"That's fine. Can I have your left hand there? The back?"
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"Brilliant, excellent! It's a super machine!"
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"Roy should be punished for nearly killing that lady."
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"I see, well let's move on..."
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"What's that?"
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"Oh, I've made a stress machine"
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"Pretty good."
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"Do you know one woman who isn't obsessed with shoes?"
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"Try not to hurt yourself!"
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"I mean fire!"
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""Stand upright.""
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"Okay."
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"Hello? Is this the emergency services?"
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""which has broken out at the premises of...""
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""Help me!', exclamation mark."
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""Looking forward to hearing from you.""
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"And the other one's even worse."
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"Please rest assured that my cultural advisor will be fired"
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"Does he?"
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"Go on! Break something!"
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"Well done, Paul!"
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"Both classic signs of stress!"
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"I've sent an e-mail. It's fine!"
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"Where is the precinct extinguisher?"
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"You mean the fire incident?"
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"Oh I'm in trouble! I'm in real trouble!"
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"Help me get my shoes on before Denholm comes!"
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"by the lack of faith you both display."
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"I think a fire in the office"
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"Yes I thought he was a delight."
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"I hate to remind everyone but I've just destroyed a merger"
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"- Oh now, I'm bleeding! - Jen!"
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"The stress machine? What about the fire?!"
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"Thank you."
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"Just what we need!"
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"Roll up your sleeves, Jen."
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"I really am losing quite a lot of blood!"
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"Jen! Jen! Do you?!"
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"Evidently not."
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"I love the way the smoke seems to be coming off the top of it."
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"Has this ever happened to you?"
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"From today, dialling 999 won't get you the emergency services."
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"And that's not the only thing that's changing."
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"Nicer ambulances, faster response times,"
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"and better looking drivers"
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"mean they're not just the emergency services,"
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"they're "your" emergency services. So..."
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"Remember the new number:"
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"That's..."
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"Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble..."
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"0118 999 881 999 119 725..."
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"...3!"
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"I don't know why they just couldn't keep it as it was!"
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"How hard is it to remember 911?"
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"- You mean 999... - I mean 999!"
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"- That's the American one! - Yeah!"
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"- You berk! - Come on, are you ready?"
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"I don't know what to say really it's fun..."
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"there are some many issues in the world,"
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"They are beautiful, I love them..."
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"in fact they're the most beautiful shoes I've ever seen but..."
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"you know, I can't have everything that I love,"
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"otherwise I'd own lots of things, and actually they're red,"
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"Come on you crazy bitch!"
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"Come on!"
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"Come on!"
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"- Denholm's called the general. - Oh God, another one!"
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"Yeah!"
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"I bet he declares war on something!"
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"He loves declaring war!"
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"I am declaring war!"
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"I can see that got your attention."
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"What am I declaring war on?"
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"My bollocks?!"
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"Stress!"
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"I'm a doctor with a cure."
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"No, no! I'm a General! And it's still a war!"
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"A war on disease!"
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"Stress!"
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"They're very expensive and besides,"
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"the woman in the shop said they were way too small for me."
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"- You see you know, be practical, go on! - In the time..."
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"I've been speaking,"
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"over 18 million people have died of stress."
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"That's another one."
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"That's another one."
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"Say: "I hate stress!""
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"- I hate stress! - No!"
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"You didn't let me finish."
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"Say: "I hate stress...""
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"and I want to limitate its influence in my life,"
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"what can I do about it? Anyone?"
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"Have a bath?"
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"Have a bath?!"
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"Get a bike!"
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"I cycle to work... everyday!"
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"Both here, and here..."
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"Any other ideas?"
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"Jen, what about you?"
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"Shoes!"
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"- What? - Shoes!"
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"Well, shoes..."
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"Ok, look!"
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"to come and give a class at lunchtime."
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"He is Europe's leading stress expert."
The IT Crowd (2006)
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