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Clips from The Good Place - Flying (S01E01)

"Your favorite show is something called The Real Housewives of Atlanta,"
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"and your favorite book is Kendall Jenner's Instagram feed."
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"How did you know all that?"
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"Because you are constantly talking about yourself."
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"You are the most self-obsessed person I have ever met."
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"You should see Kendall Jenner's Instagram feed."
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"Okay, this is my fear about you, Eleanor."
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"Well, I think you're wrong. What country am I from, again?"
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"Sen... sodyne."
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"That is a brand of toothpaste."
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"Look, the only thing that you are concerned with"
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"is your own happiness."
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"That's your problem."
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"Okay, names in the hat. Time to pick a designated driver."
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"And the loser is..."
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"Wait, you never get picked,"
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"and you're always the one who draws the name."
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"- Let me see that. - There's no need."
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"Everyone here believes in my integrity 100%, right, guys?"
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"Give it to me."
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"For the record..."
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"Again, out of principle. Let it wash over you, Betsy."
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"This is what integrity looks like."
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"Things have settled down. Phew!"
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"So hopefully, we're off and running."
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"Welcome to orientation, day two."
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"Now, today we're gonna start with something"
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"that everyone has always wanted to do."
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"Flying."
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"Uh, sorry. Uh, Michael? If... If I might?"
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"I was just thinking, earlier today in all of the chaos,"
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"large swaths of this neighborhood were destroyed."
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"We thought perhaps some of us could volunteer to help clean up the debris."
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"You know, it's quite a fun way to band together as a community,"
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"isn't that right, Jianyu?"
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"Oh, uh, yeah, sorry. For those of you who don't know,"
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"my soulmate, Jianyu here, is a Buddhist monk."
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"He took a vow of silence that he's still observing,"
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"even here, in The Good Place."
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"It's truly inspiring."
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"Well, Tahani, it's not really your job to clean up,"
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"but I suppose there's no harm if you really want to."
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"Oh, well, hurrah. We need about, uh, 12 volunteers."
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"Oh!"
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"I can't believe all these people are passing on flying"
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"to pick up garbage all day."
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"Have fun, nerds."
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"I'll be soaring through the air like a forkin' bird."
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"- Eleanor and I would love to help. - Ah. Hurrah, hurrah. Yay."
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"Dude."
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"You want to prove you're not selfish? Here's the perfect test."
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"There's something fun that you want to do,"
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"Have fun."
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"Whoo!"
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"- Hey! - Oh, hey!"
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"- Aw, yeah! - All right!"
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"- Whoo! - Hey, up there."
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"Having fun, or does it maybe suck, probably?"
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"Well, I wouldn't call it fun. I'd say it's like 50 million simultaneous orgasms,"
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"but better."
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"How's volunteer garbage pickup?"
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"- About the same. - Great!"
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"Whee!"
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"You know, this really reminds me of my time in Vietnam,"
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"picking up mortar shells with my godmother, Diana."
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"Tahani! How goes the cleaning?"
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"Oh, swimmingly, Michael. And I have to say"
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"this neighborhood that you've built is truly a masterpiece,"
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"the likes of which I've never seen."
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"And I've been to Johnny Depp's private bird sanctuary."
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"Well, thank you. That's very kind of you to say."
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"But it's also dead wrong."
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"See, I must have made a mistake somewhere. And it led to all this chaos,"
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"and now I'm just... I'm just terrified that it's gonna happen again."
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"I'm trying to put a good face on..."
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"But the truth is, I... I'm just miserable."
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"I have to go."
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"Thank you so much for your service."
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"Oh, no. Powerful people do not handle failure well."
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"Michael could be heading for a total meltdown."
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"Soulmate, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
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"Should we say it at the same time? All right. One, two, three."
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"We must help Michael."
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"Oh, you sly devil."
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"You're going to keep me on my toes, aren't you?"
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"All right, come on. Let's go."
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"- Oh, boy! - Hey, Gunnar! Hey, Antonio!"
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"- Hey, Eleanor. Isn't this great? - Uh, yeah."
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"When I thought of the afterlife,"
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"I totally pictured being an unpaid, non-flying janitor."
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"You guys are so fun. Just relentlessly fun."
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"I keep thinking, "When are they gonna stop being fun?""
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"Well, I have had a pretty full day of being unselfish."
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"I've made some new friends. My area's almost garbage-free."
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"Well, that is a really tough question."
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"helping you is pointless, that you can't try to be good,"
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"Yeah, but what do most great philosophers know?"
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"On the other hand, Aristotle thought that moral virtue is something"
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"that you could get better at."
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"He... He compared it to playing the flute."
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"The more you practice, the more you improve."
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"Aristotle! That's my boy, right there. He was the best."
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"I mean, most people agree he was the best one."
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"Well, no worries."
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"Just hit me up when you're done weighing my life in your hands."
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"I'll just keep doing what I do best: being super considerate and selfless."
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"- Hey, guys. - Okay, Eleanor, reminder."
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"We switched to a rotating system"
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"for choosing a designated driver, and it's your turn."
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"Got it."
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"Full disclosure, I forgot we were doing this new system."
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"- Someone else will do it. - Good call."
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"in the system I accidentally discovered."
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"Whoo!"
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"I can't believe they've managed to mix one million flavors together,"
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"and yet, somehow, I can taste each individual one."
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"It's remarkable."
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"I got no-flavor."
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"- It's all I deserve, really. - No."
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"Look, I... I appreciate you trying to cheer me up."
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