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Clips from 30 Rock - When It Rains, It Pours (S05E05)

"so I recorded advice for every scenario my son could face."
30 Rock
"You're worried about being old, Jack?"
30 Rock
"You could live forever,"
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"but you still can't predict what happens in life."
30 Rock
"Wait a minute."
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"Good God!"
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"- We're having a damn girl. - What?"
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"That Russian skank read the ultrasound wrong."
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"I'm just so worried about her spatial reasoning and upper-body strength."
30 Rock
"I hate to say, "I told you so," so welcome to Miami."
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"I've got to make new tapes."
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"My daughter."
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"I am John Francis Donaghy."
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"I am your father."
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"If you have the blondeness and self-esteem of your mother,"
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"you will need no advice. Life will be easy for you."
30 Rock
"Otherwise, I'd like to introduce you to Elizabeth Lemon."
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"Every human has hair on his or her face,"
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"some of us just have more."
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"- This is over. - Let me give my reasons."
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"...Pacific..."
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"You know... when it rains, it pours."
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"Lemon, we have news."
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"You know when a dude knows he's gonna turn into a werewolf"
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"She was due yesterday, so we're not taking any chances."
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"And I don't know how I feel about that."
30 Rock
"Okay, you know what? I'll take care of editing from now on."
30 Rock
"I can't leave my dressing room until Angie goes into labor,"
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"This message is coming to you either from beyond the grave"
30 Rock
"Who, Matt Moulson?"
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"You must be a strong skater."
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"Were you in the army?"
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"Explain the rules!"
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"Yeah. You ready to play?"
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"Two becoming one."
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"...sleeping together. - What?"
30 Rock
"Your new vibe is a double-edged sword,"
30 Rock
"A gift from France to the United States,"
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"Do not hire Sting to play the reception."
30 Rock
"Eyewitnesses report K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
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"Slut."
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"Who do you think you are?"
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"Because for once in my life, I felt like being nice."
30 Rock
"Well, I don't care how you punish my show, it's over."
30 Rock
"I'm out of my mind on a lot of drugs right now..."
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"You hear me?"
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"Huh?"
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"Damn it, I've got to go feed the meter."
30 Rock
"What do you want me to do? Yelling at me ain't gonna make it better."
30 Rock
"that is not covered here,"
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"I'm going to reapply to the NBC Page Program"
30 Rock
"Or read Him a Dave Barry book."
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"There's no baby in here!"
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"Avery, I'm with Tracy."
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"If you're running low on laundry,"
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"or your surgeon?"
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"How's it going?"
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"You know, like..."
30 Rock
"the game is over and you're out of the cab."
30 Rock
"And I will always be by your side,"
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"...and you can..."
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"I will be 70 years old"
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"I am at the damn hospital! Where is Tracy?"
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"Mrs. Jordan?"
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""...and the tree was happy.""
30 Rock
"Well, no one could ever replace Kenneth,"
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"I knew you wouldn't let me down, baby."
30 Rock
"Bandanas are a fun, sexy fashion accessory..."
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"You're not Grizz!"
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"Corn!"
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"because "centipeding" means having sex with 100 women."
30 Rock
"God, what's wrong with it?"
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"There are 12 tones in the chromatic scale."
30 Rock
"Also, I have given a great deal of money to the Catholic Church"
30 Rock
"Hey, you!"
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"without Kenneth here."
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"Oh, Donna!"
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"Okay. I remember going to the Statue of Liberty centennial,"
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"I don't get why people like brunch."
30 Rock
"Hey, you know what?"
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"Wait, you can't say anything to him!"
30 Rock
"No, Liz. That is not why I did it."
30 Rock
"Who?"
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"...while I eat a... ...combo..."
30 Rock
"You are, like a pretty refugee on the news."
30 Rock
"Come on. What now?"
30 Rock
"As of today, yes. I made all my videotapes."
30 Rock
"Donna Straunk!"
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"The lazy Susan was invented by Thomas Jefferson."
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"It's not gonna unlock!"
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"That's never happened to me before."
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"What is he talking about?"
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"I had to be at work this morning at 11:00!"
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"and I wanted to see some green boobies."
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"Ritchie and Liz spotted in tree."
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"I'm actually seeing someone right now."
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"...infected penis!"
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