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Clips from 30 Rock - When It Rains, It Pours (S05E05)

"Great, so that's what I get for being happy,"
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"for being nice and rocking a cowboy hat"
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"that a KISS FM DJ once called a "sweet lid"?"
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"If you do, he'll take it out on "TGS," on us!"
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"I'll be here waiting for edits till 4:00 in the morning"
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"when I should be at Home..."
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"which is the name of a bar I found near the train station!"
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"I'm sorry, you want me to just take this for the team?"
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"Please. You know he can make our lives a living hell."
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"We all make sacrifices, Liz."
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"Fine. Fine."
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"Aw! You got sauce on me!"
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"You know, neighbors who wear my exact size don't die every day!"
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"Come on! I don't know that!"
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"You've got 1 5 seconds, or you're out of the cab."
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"'cause that year someone had spread a rumor"
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"that she was gonna slip out of her toga,"
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"And the Mets had just won the World Series,"
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"by a Mets fan that I had threw a bottle at."
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"I got it... 1886!"
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"Yes, that is correct!"
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"Weighing up to four tons, what type of mammal is the famous Shamu?"
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"She is an orca, Benjamin."
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"FYI, they're very difficult to keep in a home aquarium."
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"- Right again! - I'm coming, Angie!"
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"Son, I may not be there for your wedding."
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"It breaks my heart to realize that,"
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"but I want to offer you one piece of fatherly advice."
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"He'll insist on doing jazz versions of Police songs,"
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"and it's just demoralizing."
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"After I'm gone, your mother may meet someone else."
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"I want her to be happy,"
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"The secret to a strong, healthy head of hair is dove... blood."
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"Kenneth, what are you doing here?"
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"and then you came in, and I was trapped,"
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"just like the time I was cleaning my closet"
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"came in to take one of their grunting naps on my bed..."
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"Hang on, are you sneaking in here and working?"
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"I know how much you all need me..."
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"Stop right there. Guess what."
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"Other people can figure out how to sort the mail and answer the phones."
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"starting now."
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"That is called tough love."
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"Kenneth is now on a journey that will either return him here"
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"No, it is true. They're doing it."
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"And we have this just in to us..."
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"I know what you've been saying about me."
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"That we're sleeping together?"
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"You know what, Ritchie?"
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"And he's never around because he's a pilot."
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"- His name is Carol. - That sounds really fake."
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"I know how it sounds!"
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"And Carol is the reason I was nice to you."
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"I take my hug back!"
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"I meant to say "really." I misspoke. Continue."
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"Oh, come in, come in, come in, come in."
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"Liz, are you familiar with the phrase "when it rains, it pours"?"
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"I don't meet a lot of women."
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"I started doing fantasy-hockey camp and Civil War re-creationism"
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"to meet girls, but I don't know where they are."
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"When you were nice to me, I took advantage of it"
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"to try to make someone else notice."
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"but a million miles away."
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"But it's just that I am in love with her."
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"Hello, Parcell and a squatter's residence."
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"Isn't the whole point feeling God punish you?"
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"If that man is not here for this, it is over!"
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"and Lazy Susan herself!"
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"The capital of the United Arab Emirates is Abu Dhabi."
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"I know that because if I go back there, I'll be executed!"
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"I know that because I'm a musical genius..."
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"- This is how you throw a punch. - Wait, what?"
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"Shel Silverstein was a communist."
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"...and that is the art of camouflage."
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"Now, this is how you make love to a woman."
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"Pull, Angie! Pull!"
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"Of course not, woman! I'm your husband!"
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"Oh, hey, Ritchie, are we still on for the music concert this weekend?"
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"- Liz, we've had a lot of fun... - End it? Why?"
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"...but I need to end it. - End it? Why?"
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"Without you around, who's gonna satisfy my sex needs and then some?"
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"Oh, Liz,"
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"you'll find someone."
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"No, I won't. Not someone like you."
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"How many guys out there have a fully loaded Toyota Tercel"
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"or a real pinball machine?"
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"How many guys have been to Canada... twice?"
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"Are you doing this to me because I don't share your love of unicorns?"
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"Oh, Liz, don't blame yourself. It's my fault."
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"See you in another life, kiddo."
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"I guess some other woman will get to enjoy that water bed"
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"that you're saving up for."
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"What's up, Ritchie?"
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"Congratulations, we're here, Tracy! You made it!"
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"Tracy Jordan... hero, husband, diabetic/alcoholic!"
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"Yes!"
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"Hold on, let me unlock it for you."
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"Am I pulling it right?"
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"- Just let go of the handle. - Okay."
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"- It's still not opening. - Stop pulling it."
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"I'm trying to pull it. You keep saying pull it."
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"Oh, it's upside down. My bad."
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"We did it. I was here for you..."
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"no matter what Discovery Channel game show stands in my way."
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"And I mean it."
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"Why is that baby covered with goop?"
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"Because everything about this is disgusting!"
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"As you go through life, I will always be here for you through these tapes."
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"In the unlikely event that you encounter something"
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"find a woman named Elizabeth Lemon, get her advice,"
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"Mr. Donaghy, I'm sorry, but you were wrong, sir."
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"I am needed here, more than I ever knew."
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"Very well. I'll let HR know."
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"No, sir. If I am going to return,"
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"it must be through the proper channels."
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"following standard procedures for acceptance."
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"Your ability to hide your true feelings"
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"is part of your great strength!"
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"You ready for this, Jackie D?"
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"I'm not gonna be around forever, Tracy,"
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