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Clips from 30 Rock - When It Rains, It Pours (S05E05)

"I had an old dad. It was awesome. I could get away with anything."
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"This is just what I need..."
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"to store my rock collection!"
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"Whatevs, Tony Randall."
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"Whatevs, indeed."
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"Damn!"
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"I'm a writer, I'm messy, I'm a lovable curmudgeon."
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"That is solid!"
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"Advantage... Donaghy."
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"Hmm, rundowns are already out."
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"I can't believe how smoothly everything's going"
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"I know!"
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"It was supposed to say "peace," but they wrote "white hooker" instead."
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"I forgot I was getting it removed today,"
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"but these new kids are getting it done."
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"Liz, Tracy will not be coming out of his dressing room today."
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"Well, I'm embarrassed to say"
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"for very legitimate reasons."
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"So I promised Angie I will not miss the birth of our daughter."
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"And reading."
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"Also, we took Tracy's cell phone, his wallet..."
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"Well, I'm glad you're gonna be there for Angie. Good for you."
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"- It's your turn. - What?"
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"Editing hasn't sent up the title sequence yet,"
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"and it's your turn to go down there."
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"God, I hate how much power they have over us!"
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"Who do they think they are? Mommy and her sisters?"
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"Jeez, calm down."
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"They know we need them, so they torture us!"
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"I'm done, actually."
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"I'll go down there, turn on the new Liz Lemon charm,"
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"a little Julia Roberts laugh..."
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"What's in your teeth?"
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"when my son graduates prep school."
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"Oh, come on, is this about my old-dad thing? I was joking!"
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"Will I even be there for his first subpoena?"
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"of realizing you were both at the same masked orgy at a castle?"
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"Am I pulling this off?"
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"I cannot escape death, Lemon, but I will cheat it."
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"Whatever happens to me, I must find a way"
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"This is a test of the fire system. Please evacuate the building."
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"You coming downstairs?"
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"You know, as Floor Fire Marshal, Kenneth always ran the fire drills."
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"Who's doing it now?"
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"One of the new kids, I guess."
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"It's okay, Tray."
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"We'll all go down together, then we'll bring you back up."
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"Just stay with your grown-up."
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"I'd wear baggy clothes so my nice clothes wouldn't get all torn up."
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"Tray?"
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"What?"
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"Good morning."
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"Now, full disclosure..."
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"most of my experience is putting babies in women."
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"You just described my morning."
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"Now, Mrs. Jordan, I've already administered the epidural."
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"So, would you like one as well?"
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"I am trying to help you."
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"My son. You may not remember me."
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"or because I am in the grip of insanity."
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"is to educate and guide you through life"
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"I will begin with our shared history."
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"The Donaghys originally come from Ireland's little-known County Steve,"
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"where, historically, we were whiskey testers and goblins."
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"I was raised in Sadchester, Massachusetts."
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"I won the Amory Blaine Handsomeness Scholarship"
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"to Princeton,"
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"and then attended Harvard Business School, where I was voted "Most.""
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"I was the first person ever to say,"
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""I need a vacation from this vacation.""
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"The song "You're So Vain" was, in fact, written... by me."
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"In other words, I have lived. In living, I have learned."
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"And now I want to impart that knowledge to you."
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"You are hiking in the Japanese highlands."
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"A pair of snow leopards is stalking you,"
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"What?"
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"What's up, Edit Seven gang!"
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"Ritchie, Donna,"
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""Ray-yee"..."
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"Split the difference, but keep the music where it is."
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"Piece for the "Today" show about how next month is October."
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"Islanders, huh?"
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"So, you think they're gonna end up trading "Fansonfen"?"
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"They should. I'm better than that clown."
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"Do I play? I go to Islanders Fantasy Camp every year."
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"I can't go backwards, but, yeah, I'm good."
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"Oh."
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"No, better."
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"I'm kind of an expert at getting shot by smoothbore firearms."
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"Well, thank you. Thank you very much."
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"- Ritchie! - Yeah."
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"Yeah."
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"Cool hat, by the way."
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"I forgot I got to get those 'TGS' titles done for Liz here."
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"I just got to get to the hospital and wait there. Taxi!"
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"Sir, I don't have any money,"
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"but I need to get to Mount Sinai Hospital."
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"No problem. Hop in."
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"Wow. It's like I always say... white cab drivers are weird."
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"You're in the Cash Cab!"
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"It's a TV game show that takes place right here in my taxi."
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"You answer trivia questions for money and a free ride."
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"But if you answer incorrectly,"
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"So, for me to be there at the birth of my daughter,"
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"I have to answer trivia questions, despite having gone to middle school"
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"Bring it."
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"And this is a CD of some Civil War songs I thought you'd like."
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"So don't play it around your black friends."
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"Well, thanks, Ritchie."
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"Okay."
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"Oh!"
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"Wow, this is a nice hug."
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"What the hell, Liz?"
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"I thought Ritchie was lying."
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"with an Italian dude who smells like cigarettes,"
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"I've made it very clear I would flip over my futon for you!"
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"Not cool!"
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"Okay, it's not a big deal."
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"Ritchie has just been telling the crew that you two are..."
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"much like the kind Mickey Rourke tried to kill me with."
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