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Clips from Broad City - Sliding Doors (S04E04)

"that I'm gonna eat myself, so... Pretty much sums it up."
Broad City
"- Gotcha, okay. - Yeah."
Broad City
"How was your day?"
Broad City
"Yeah. That'd be awesome."
Broad City
"Thanks. Cool pipe."
Broad City
"Got it on McDougal."
Broad City
"Do you want some pizza?"
Broad City
"(LAUGHING) Respect."
Broad City
"Yeah, uh, yeah."
Broad City
"Oh, my God."
Broad City
"(CHUCKLES) That feels..."
Broad City
"- This is amazing. - This is nuts."
Broad City
"- It's really nice to meet you. - Yeah, you too."
Broad City
"Um... You wanna take a walk?"
Broad City
"So, what's with the black eye?"
Broad City
"You know, I'm a supporter of the arts."
Broad City
"I'm an artist!"
Broad City
"- That's dope. - Like, yeah, that's what I do."
Broad City
"because of your haircut. Did you get it cut today?"
Broad City
"- It's dope! - No..."
Broad City
"- What? - This is so, like, stupid,"
Broad City
"but why can't you get eggs after 11:00 a. M?"
Broad City
"- You know... - Yesterday morning,"
Broad City
"I go in at, like, 12:30 to fucking Bodega."
Broad City
"And I'm like, "Hey, I want a bacon, egg and cheese,"
Broad City
"- Duh, bitch, duh, bitch... - "You gotta come in in the morning.""
Broad City
"Nuts!"
Broad City
"No worries."
Broad City
"- (VOMITING) - (SHRIEKS)"
Broad City
"Thank you."
Broad City
"No, sir!"
Broad City
"You're a needle-dick bitch, bitch."
Broad City
"Good luck living the rest of your life."
Broad City
"Oh, shit, my notepad!"
Broad City
"you got like a Rosie Perez vibe going if you poofed it up."
Broad City
"Now I'm doing it like this every freaking day"
Broad City
"so I'll never be late for work again."
Broad City
"Come on."
Broad City
"(SIGHS)"
Broad City
"He took my pony! (CRYING)"
Broad City
"Ew..."
Broad City
"(GASPS) You're fired."
Broad City
"Are you serious?"
Broad City
"(GASPS)"
Broad City
"- It's not like I'm moving in or anything. - Right."
Broad City
"Hey, Madisons."
Broad City
"Elizabeth Buton-Bates, will you please resume the PowerPoint?"
Broad City
"Eww."
Broad City
"Jesus!"
Broad City
"with any current couple, who would you pick?"
Broad City
"(PROFESSOR CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)"
Broad City
"Aye, no, did you get kicked in the face"
Broad City
"- by a subway performer again? - Oh, ow. Yeah."
Broad City
"(SINGING) White humans"
Broad City
"Yeah, you made that very clear the day you took my djembe away."
Broad City
"You'll get that back at the end of the semester."
Broad City
"- Really, I'd love to workshop... - It's for the best."
Broad City
"You know, it's like... It could inspire us to live like"
Broad City
"I thought you were joking."
Broad City
"(SHRIEKING)"
Broad City
"I don't know that spot, but I always smoke"
Broad City
"Yeah, okay."
Broad City
"Um... For real, like, it just doesn't feel right,"
Broad City
"You killed that!"
Broad City
"(SIGHS)"
Broad City
"- I know, me too! - It was the best."
Broad City
"- Hey. - Hey."
Broad City
"Do you want a hit?"
Broad City
"Whoa, look. Wet cement."
Broad City
"- Classy. - Yeah."
Broad City
"Okay."
Broad City
"You know what I've been thinking about lately?"
Broad City
"(MUMBLING)"
Broad City
"Mm."
Broad City
"- (SIGHS) - Okay."
Broad City
"- I love it. - Yeah."
Broad City
"And I'm like, are you... I want to give you money."
Broad City
"(WIND CHIMES)"
Broad City
"I could definitely do that high."
Broad City
"Um... I just wanted to call real quick and tell you"
Broad City
"I really thought that this would be harder,"
Broad City
"Okay, well, I have to run back over to the pizza shop,"
Broad City
"You have it, I see all the ingredients."
Broad City
"(WIND CHIMES)"
Broad City
"- Give me the vest! - Hey!"
Broad City
"All my friends call me Bevers."
Broad City
"Ever since Melody got a job at the law firm,"
Broad City
"Okay. Got it."
Broad City
"It's literally bestiality,"
Broad City
"(WIND CHIMES)"
Broad City
"(WIND CHIMES)"
Broad City
"(BOTH CHUCKLE)"
Broad City
"You know, you look like an artist,"
Broad City
"This don't smell good, baby."
Broad City
"(WIND CHIMES)"
Broad City
"I'm Ilana."
Broad City
"Hey!"
Broad City
"(WIND CHIMES)"
Broad City
"Shit."
Broad City
"Yeah! Yeah!"
Broad City
"are you kidding me?"
Broad City
"Okay, um..."
Broad City
"- That's what a throuple is. - Wow."
Broad City
"Uh, are you sure? I mean, I don't wanna be an imposition around here or anything."
Broad City
"right now."
Broad City
"(BELL DINGING)"
Broad City
"So not! I mean, what, are we gonna listen to her?"
Broad City
"- Oh. - She's good."
Broad City
"Oh, God."
Broad City
"Thanks again for swiping me in."
Broad City
"(WIND CHIMES, TAPE REWINDING)"
Broad City
"(WIND CHIMES)"
Broad City
"Are you serious?"
Broad City
"- Duh, bitch. - They're like,"No, none," they can't."
Broad City
"Oh, no, now you can't get through."
Broad City
"(REVERSE VOMITING)"
Broad City
"- (CHUCKLES) - (SCOFFS)"
Broad City
"- Oh, my God! - What happened?"
Broad City
"Well, don't get ahead of yourself."
Broad City
"The wall of graphic pornography above your bed."
Broad City
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