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Clips from Broad City - Sliding Doors (S04E04)

"Cool."
Broad City
"I mean, in a, in a way, I did."
Broad City
"I think about that all the time!"
Broad City
"'cause that's my fucking jam.""
Broad City
"REPORTER ON TV: Another one bites the dust."
Broad City
"Hey, I got it. Hey."
Broad City
"Oh, wow, thank you. That's so nice."
Broad City
"(GRUNTS) That just happened to me."
Broad City
"(BEEPING)"
Broad City
"Oh, you know, it's all good. Go, go, go, go!"
Broad City
"MAN: Hey, come back! Stop!"
Broad City
"- Jesus Christ! - Ugh, you're kidding me!"
Broad City
"Oh, you're welcome, ma'am."
Broad City
"(HUMMING)"
Broad City
"(SINGING)"
Broad City
"Donald Trump will be president!"
Broad City
"- God, are you kidding me? - Ewww!"
Broad City
"- Ew! - Jesus Christ!"
Broad City
"WOMAN: F Train suspended."
Broad City
"Doesn't work anymore, we gotta close it, guys."
Broad City
"Well, thanks again for swiping me in up there."
Broad City
"Yeah, you got it."
Broad City
"I'm Robert."
Broad City
"BOTH: Hi, Robert."
Broad City
"No, I forgot to lock up last night,"
Broad City
"so I was supposed to get there early"
Broad City
"this morning to fake lock up."
Broad City
"is to smoke a lot of pot. (CHUCKLES)"
Broad City
"I mean, I was just gonna go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, but"
Broad City
"That's cool."
Broad City
"You know, I could smoke you up."
Broad City
"Get you, ooh"
Broad City
"Get you, ooh"
Broad City
"MAN: Right, we'll show 'em."
Broad City
"- (GRUNTS) - Oh, my God!"
Broad City
"God, that's a strong kick."
Broad City
"- Are you okay? - I'm okay."
Broad City
"This is what we made today so far."
Broad City
"Oh, don't, don't even worry about it."
Broad City
"I'm just a silly, upper-middle class NYU bitch,"
Broad City
"so I wouldn't take money from you."
Broad City
"I go to NYU too, Tisch School Performing Arts."
Broad City
"Tischies. Congrats."
Broad City
"Whoops! Now you're all wet!"
Broad City
"Even though I know you were already."
Broad City
"'Cause I... I never get wet."
Broad City
"And now, I got you all riled up!"
Broad City
"(LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"I love my life."
Broad City
"Whoops! Now you're all wet!"
Broad City
"Even though I know you were already."
Broad City
"(CHUCKLES) (MOCKING LAUGHTER)"
Broad City
"This guy's a bitch!"
Broad City
"You know hashtag, winning? You're hashtag, losing."
Broad City
"That's your symbol of masculinity, a bubble gun?"
Broad City
"Yeah! Good luck living the rest of your life!"
Broad City
"(SOBBING)"
Broad City
"(PHONE BUZZING)"
Broad City
"(SCOFFS) I knew it!"
Broad City
"I left the doors open all night where I work and they fired me!"
Broad City
"Dude, I love Grey Dog! I mean, I'm sure the one that you work at sucks."
Broad City
"Dude, that's where I work!"
Broad City
"Dude, I'm in there, like, every day."
Broad City
"Dude, how have we not seen each other?"
Broad City
"- Dude, this is insane! - Oh, my God, dude!"
Broad City
"Okay, well listen, if you need a new job,"
Broad City
"and a spot just opened up 'cause some guy just OD'ed."
Broad City
"- Oh, my God, my hair! - (LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"No, it looks so good like that. Why do you straighten it?"
Broad City
"'Cause I look like a "true Jew" if I don't straighten."
Broad City
"It's not necessarily a bad thing."
Broad City
"You wouldn't know."
Broad City
"Not full."
Broad City
"- Check the records. - Had a bat mitzvah."
Broad City
"Did you get work done?"
Broad City
"- What? Okay, - Yeah."
Broad City
"Plus, it'll save me two hours every morning,"
Broad City
"- I'm starving. - Oh, my God."
Broad City
"I thought you'd never ask. Yes, I'm starving, too."
Broad City
"- Jinx tummies. - (LAUGHS)"
Broad City
"Sorry, hopefully they'll be out soon."
Broad City
"- (PEOPLE GASPING) - Ha-ha!"
Broad City
"No!"
Broad City
"(CROWD MUTTERING)"
Broad City
"- Oh... Hey, Tim. - Ilana,"
Broad City
"Yes, you are so completely fired."
Broad City
"God... But I'm at least entitled"
Broad City
"to my one free coffee a day for employees."
Broad City
"You made that up. There is no one free coffee a day for employees."
Broad City
"You're just a thief."
Broad City
"Wow, did you just call me a queef? That's sexual harass..."
Broad City
"Get out, go."
Broad City
"WOMAN: Yeah, I'm so excited."
Broad City
"First week in New York, I love this city."
Broad City
"(SCREAMING)"
Broad City
"Hey, Mel?"
Broad City
"Melody, are you home?"
Broad City
"Fierce 'do!"
Broad City
"It's nice to meet you, Bevers."
Broad City
"it's like I never see her."
Broad City
"I almost forgot what it's like to have a roommate."
Broad City
"I've been looking for places all week."
Broad City
"No, it's fine. I mean, I can't eat a whole wedge of cheese on my own."
Broad City
"Okay. Can I give you money?"
Broad City
"No. Come on."
Broad City
"Okay... I mean, if you ever want me"
Broad City
"to do chores around here or anything..."
Broad City
"Listen, I'm the host, you're the guest."
Broad City
"I wanna make my host feel comfortable,"
Broad City
"so as a guest, the rules of the house are,"
Broad City
"I never pay for food,"
Broad City
"I never do chores, is that correct?"
Broad City
"No, that'd be weird."
Broad City
"Eww, I am having, like, a salty, wet diarrhea of a fucking day!"
Broad City
"What's going on with you guys?"
Broad City
"We're actually having our weekly suite meeting."
Broad City
"(GASPS)"
Broad City
"Madison, what the fuck is this?"
Broad City
"Number 27, you call all of us Madison."
Broad City
"What are you talking about, Madis..."
Broad City
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