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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Classified Materials Turbulence (S02E02)

"That's the smell of new comic books."
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"- Is that supposed to be funny? - I believe it is."
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"...suggest that Leonard is humorously mocking your efforts in space plumbing."
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"Number one, and of course, number two."
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"Oh, clever."
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"Here, Sheldon. I pulled the new Hellboy for you."
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"Excuse me, spoiler alert."
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"You told me it's mind-blowing, so my mind is going into it pre-blown."
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"And once a mind is pre-blown, it cannot be re-blown."
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"What about it?"
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"Dust yourself off, forget it. Move on."
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"- I can't do that. - Why the hell not?"
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"- Have you read the new Flash? - No."
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"Oh, gee."
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"But, you know, let me about it and get back to you, okay?"
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"Interesting, Penny's current suitor asking advice from her former suitor."
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"You wanna make sure he gets nowhere with Penny..."
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"...without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?"
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"- I'm listening. - Just tell him..."
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"- How's it going? - Good, good."
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"- You? - Fine."
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"And then I started thinking maybe I should talk to you first."
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"- About what? - Well, does it bother you?"
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"- Because, you know, you and me-- - No. No, that's the past."
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"That's why he works in a comic-book store."
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"It's Stuart."
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"He wants to talk about Penny. I don't wanna talk about Penny."
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"You're making an assumption."
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"And if you don't answer the phone, we can't know."
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"There. It went to voicemail."
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"Aren't you going to check your messages?"
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"And we descend into anarchy."
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"Code red, the hospital emergency alert? The computer worm?"
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"What are you gonna do?"
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"Don't you mean the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Human Waste Distribution System?"
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"Good one, yeah."
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"Here's an approximation of the spare parts available on the space station."
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"We gotta find a way, using nothing but this, to reinforce this."
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"- Hey, Leonard. - Hey, Stuart."
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"- What's up? - Well, tonight's my date with Penny."
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"- Yeah, I'm sorry. It's been broken. - Or e-mail."
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"All right. Well, off the top of my head..."
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"- Okay. - You know, guys come on to her..."
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"And you know, treat her with, like, cool detachment."
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"- Fear? - Yeah."
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"Good, good. Well, you kids have fun tonight."
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"...we make Jesus cry."
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"You don't really believe in that superstition, do you?"
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"Here's an idea. What if I change my name..."
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"- Morning. - Morning. What's up?"
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"Great, so how'd it go with Stuart last night?"
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"Help me see if we can wedge this piece of PVC behind the support rod."
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"Is that what that's for? In India, the lid just touches the cheese."
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"We also have rampant poverty and periodic outbreaks of cholera..."
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"And if I have to hear about it again, I'm gonna kick him in his ovaries."
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"I must say, Howard..."
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"...I think a detailed letter to MIT describing your current circumstances..."
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"Not enough bread crumbs."
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"- Hey, Stuart, I need to talk to you. - Sure, what's up?"
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"No, your advice was great."
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"...your name."
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"Yeah. No, yeah, it is."
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"Yeah, it was pretty bad."
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"Okay, well..."
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"No one has to know anything about this but you and me."
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"Howard's space toilet. I'll tell you later."
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"Leonard, could you pass the soy sauce, please?"
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"- I'm sorry, were you talking to me? - Yeah, I said Leonard."
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"Meatloaf."
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"That's classified."
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"We are basically out the door."
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"Smell that?"
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"Oh, yes."
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"They're on me today, boys."
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"You're paying? Have you been selling your sperm again?"
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"As we speak, the space shuttle is docking at the International Space Station..."
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"...where it will deploy the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Waste Disposal System."
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"...an international crew of astronauts will boldly go where no man has gone before."
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"The Star Trek reference and the play on words..."
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"Okay, make your little jokes. But of the four of us..."
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"...l'm the only one making any real-world contribution to science and technology."
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"He's right. This is an important achievement for two reasons:"
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"Playing on the use of cardinal numbers as euphemisms for bodily functions."
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"It's mind-blowing."
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"But I didn't spoil anything."
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"Remember I went out with Penny a couple weeks ago?"
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"- Yeah, vaguely. - Sure, you remember. That was the night..."
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"...you went to the bar and made a fool of yourself trying to pick up strange women."
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"Well, the thing is, the date didn't go that well."
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"Oh. Too bad. You know--"
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"I guess the thing to do now is, you know, pick yourself up."
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"Excuse me, Stuart?"
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"Well, I have, and it will knock your socks off."
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"Good luck getting them back on."
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"Anyway, I figure this is probably my last shot with Penny..."
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"- ...and I don't wanna screw it up. - Oh, nobody wants that."
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"So here's my question:"
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"It's the second date. You think she'll be expecting things to get physical?"
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"Yeah, my initial reaction is no."
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"- Yeah, or you call me. - Great."
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"Or nobody calls anyone."
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"Yeah, thanks for closed-captioning my pain, Raj."
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"...to do everything you've done with her for the last two years."
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"- Hey, Leonard. - Oh, hi."
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"You know your friend Stuart?"
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"Yes."
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"Me going out with one of your friends?"
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"I'm really more of a right now kind of guy."
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"You know, living in the moment."
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"Of course, my fondness for classic science fiction does draw my attention backwards..."
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"In conclusion, no, it doesn't bother me."
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"Okay, well, that's really cool of you."
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"Yeah? Well, I wouldn't say cool."
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"I'd just say, "That's Leonard.""
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"About Stuart?"
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"Love to."
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"He's very shy. How do I make him feel more comfortable around me?"
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"Well, first of all, don't underestimate the value of discomfort."
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"You're not going to answer it?"
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"And he needs your assistance."
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