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Clips from The Cleveland Show - Brotherly Love (S01E01)

"...but the women who called specifically requested that you not come."
The Cleveland Show
"What? You must have misinterpreted them."
The Cleveland Show
"They said, "Please do not bring the portly black gentleman.""
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"One woman was particularly repulsed by your stretch marks."
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"Hey, wait, wait, wait. Cleveland, you could be my manager."
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"Book gigs, handle the money."
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"I mean, you're decent with numbers, and I don't know any Jewish people."
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"Tell you what, I get 20 percent and it's a deal."
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"Hell, you can have 30 percent."
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"Wow, you really don't know any Jewish people, do you?"
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"Oh, this is so hard."
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"Well, then hold on a "secant.""
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"I think you mean step-brizzle."
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"Leave the batteries in your carbon-monoxide detector from now on."
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"When your wife says she'll use it in front of you, you find some batteries."
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"Yo, check it. Big Fed's about to bless y'all..."
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"...with two VIP passes to the release party for my new CD, Fireman Killer."
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"But aren't firemen heroes?"
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"Pfft. To who? Wasting water, blasting they sirens..."
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"...riding around with them Dalmatian-ass dogs. Blap!"
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"Was he that dumb before the gas leak?"
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"He's just trying to find his way, like everybody else."
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"You're sweet."
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"What are you guys working on, math? Oh, a number six?"
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"Yeah, I know how to make one of those. In fact, Chanel..."
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"We could do it in my room."
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"- You are just too cute. - Huh?"
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"- Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh! - Put me down, put me down."
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"- I'm a plane. Wait a minute, put me down. - You are. Yes, you are."
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"Sorry he's so cranky. He was up till 7:15 last night."
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"Oh, thanks. Anybody else wanna take a shot?"
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"Rallo, are you bothering the big kids?"
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"Come here. I need to give you your diarrhea medicine."
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"You are in for a world of hurt, buffalo butt."
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"- What did you call me? - No, not you, Mama... Aahh!"
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"- Thanks. - Okay, listen up."
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"Always be on your phone. It makes you look important."
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"Talking, texting, doesn't matter."
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"What if she has something she wants to talk to me about?"
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"Then you let out a long exhale, roll your eyes and say, "What?""
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"Don't even wait to hear the whole problem."
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"And then look back at your phone, point to it and say:"
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"Be on your phone, never listen, "this guy's hilarious.""
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"Rallo, it's time to take a pee-pee."
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"I wish so much I didn't have to take a pee-pee right now."
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"Come on out of there, lost hair."
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"I'm gonna scratch a little hole in my skin so you can find your way out."
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"Stretch on out instead of being all curled and bunched."
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"Hey, what took you so long? We're gonna be late for your next gig."
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"Hey, there's $200 here. Big tippers, huh?"
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"No, no tips. Just, you know, 100 for the stripping and 100 for the sex."
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"- What, now? - It turns out..."
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"...they kind of expect the "deluxe package," if you know what I mean."
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"Wait. I'm organizing and scheduling sexual acts..."
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"...and then collecting a portion of the profits?"
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"And that makes me a pimp."
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"Oh, I'm gonna go buy a pimp hat and a pimp suit..."
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"...some pimp shoes, maybe a pimp scarf."
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"Pimp socks?"
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"No one's gonna see my damn socks, you slut."
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"Hey, you're not paid to laugh."
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"Get out there and make my money, trick."
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"Okay, that one hurt a little."
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"I'm sorry, I'm just so excited to be a pimp."
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"Ha, ha. This is gonna be good, fellas."
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"This guy's hilarious."
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"Ha, ha. Here we go. Here we go."
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"I'm gonna write him back because I'm very important to him."
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"- No, but I love my dad. - Aww. That's cute."
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"I didn't tell him to say that."
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"Chanel. - Kenny."
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"- That's Kenny West. - Who's that?"
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"Stoolbend's most famous rapper."
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"- Who are you? - Her boyfriend."
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"Not exactly. We broke up."
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"This is Cleveland Jr."
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"He's sweet and thoughtful, and he doesn't make me wait around all day..."
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"...while he's off buying sunglasses with his posse."
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"Cleveland Jr? There ain't nothing junior about this guy."
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"Crash and burn, Junior. This worked out even better than I planned."
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"- Who is this Chia dwarf? - What did you just call me?"
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"You get that tattoo from a Cracker Jack box?"
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"Yeah, why?"
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"Tell me, little man. How the hell do you support that big-ass Afro..."
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"...with that tiny-ass neck?"
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"You're like a Questlove bobblehead."
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"Come on, Chanel. We need to talk."
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"Sorry, Junior."
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"Chanel, wait."
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"Sometimes I even kiss my dad on the lips."
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"Man, Kenny West made us both look like punks."
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"Oh, well. I guess we need to pray for the courage..."
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"...to accept the things we cannot change."
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"Man, shut up. We gotta get revenge."
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"And we're gonna get you that girl back at Federline's party tonight."
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"Yay!"
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"I'm just gonna..."
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"Cleveland, where did you get that huge wad of cash?"
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"Can't a man sneak into his house in the middle of the night..."
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"...with a huge wad of unexplained cash without being nagged by his wife?"
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"- Shoot. - Well, Yvette told me..."
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"...a friend of hers received one of Terry's special installations."
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"Well, what are you doing looking next to the bathroom sink?"
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"- You're pimping. - Ain't nothing but something to do."
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"- Cleveland, it's a crime. - What?"
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"Crimes have victims, Donna. There are no victims here."
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"Prostitutes are the victims. Terry is the victim."
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"Ha! I'm Terry:"
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""Oh, no. I have to have sex, which feels really good.""
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"Oh, it's worse. I have to have sex for cash money..."
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"...that I can buy things with."
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"Oh, and I can't stay the night and hold in farts..."
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"...while I listen to story after story about your funny coworker."
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""Ha-ha-ha. Oh, oh, make it stop.""
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"You're an idiot."
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"You, a victim. Ha, ha! As if."
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"Ha, ha! I know, I know."
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"Although sometimes I can't help thinking..."
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"...that man wasn't meant to do it more than six times a day."
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"Now that you mention it, know what else I found out about myself?"
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