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Clips from South Park - How to Eat with Your Butt (S05E05)

"Kenny, don't you think you owe the Thompsons an apology?"
South Park
"No, it was foolish for us to get our hopes up."
South Park
"It was just such a coincidence, considering the photo."
South Park
"You may not have realised this,"
South Park
"but Marsha and I have buttocks where our heads should be."
South Park
"- Really? - Really?"
South Park
"Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, how long has it been since you've seen your son?"
South Park
"Tommy disappeared when he was only seven."
South Park
"Oh, Steven! It's like it's all happening all over again."
South Park
"There, there, now."
South Park
"Please, Mrs. Thompson. It'll be all right."
South Park
"Listen, the South Park Milk Company is the country's largest."
South Park
"We find lost children all the time."
South Park
"Yes, we'll all help you find your son. Just stop crying. Please."
South Park
"For the love of God, stop crying."
South Park
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
South Park
"Yes, he was in the care of our nanny at the time."
South Park
"The nanny that we trusted so much took off with him"
South Park
"and we still don't know why."
South Park
"We think perhaps she wanted a child of her own."
South Park
"And this was back in Wisconsin?"
South Park
"Yes. But we last heard the nanny was heading west."
South Park
"That's why we thought Colorado made sense."
South Park
"We've tried every avenue to find him, but we've never tried the milk company."
South Park
"Well, you just give us a try. I think you'll find that South Park Milk"
South Park
"but also the best producer of the freshest 2% low-fat milk"
South Park
"- The world can offer. - Thank you."
South Park
"Thank you so much for helping us."
South Park
"This certainly is a friendly town. You've all been so wonderful."
South Park
"Yes, I'm so grateful I just want to cry again."
South Park
"BIJOU"
South Park
"Dude, why are you wearing Shalena's panties?"
South Park
"I had to wear Shalena's panties. Lisa's were in the wash."
South Park
"Look, can we just get this over with?"
South Park
"But, dude, I can't French-kiss him. He's my grandpa!"
South Park
"- Come on, dude. - Oh, all right, here it goes."
South Park
"Come here, Grandpa!"
South Park
"- Oh, dude. - Dude, what's wrong with you?"
South Park
"Nothing's wrong with me."
South Park
"Well, I'm glad that's over with."
South Park
"I want to apologise personally for printing that falsified picture"
South Park
"- On our milk cartons. - Please, please, it's not your fault."
South Park
"For instance, we are now entering the extraction room."
South Park
"As you can see, we keep it close to the refrigeration room."
South Park
"That's why some say South Park milk tastes"
South Park
"like you're sucking it right from the cow's tits yourself."
South Park
"- Amazing. - Here, try a glass of our cold vitamin D"
South Park
"- And our fresh scones. - Delicious."
South Park
"Martha and I actually have buttocks where our heads should be."
South Park
"Really? Well, and in here we have our missing child resource centre."
South Park
"- Oh, my, isn't this impressive? - Yes, with the Kelron 4000,"
South Park
"Mrs. Garthunk can search a database of over 30 million missing child cases."
South Park
"We'll start the computer on a data search."
South Park
"Now, when did your son turn up missing?"
South Park
"Well, it was 1982. Tommy was only six at the time."
South Park
"- All right, then. Computer. - Working."
South Park
"Run a scan of missing children since 1982."
South Park
"Check for physical birth defects called TPS."
South Park
"TPS, Torsonic Polarity Syndrome, plus missing since 1982. Working."
South Park
"So you actually haven't seen your son in over 20 years?"
South Park
"- That's right. - But then why did you think"
South Park
"the picture of Kenny was him? Wouldn't your son be much older now?"
South Park
"Yes, but since he appeared to be at least eight in the photo,"
South Park
"we assumed someone had seen him since we had."
South Park
"It's going to take quite a while for the computer"
South Park
"to do a scan of all missing kids."
South Park
"We don't really like chilli. It makes us throw up."
South Park
"Yeah, hello, Eric, I was really glad you called me very much."
South Park
"- Jimmy! Thank God. Get in here. - What's this all about?"
South Park
"Jimmy, you've always been my favourite stand-up comic."
South Park
"You got to help me. I've lost my sense of humour."
South Park
"Gee, that's a terrible thing, Eric."
South Park
"Comedy can be the best therapy very much."
South Park
"I just have to find my funny bone again. Just try and make me laugh."
South Park
"Oh, I don't think that will be hard. I've been working on my routine."
South Park
"- Why did the pigeon cross the road? - Okay, why?"
South Park
"Because it was having sex with the..."
South Park
"Because it was having sex with the..."
South Park
"It was having sex with the chicken."
South Park
"Wow, what a great audience. How about this classic?"
South Park
"What a terrific audience."
South Park
"Let's see. The Dallas-Fort Worth area. I haven't tried there yet."
South Park
"- Computer? - Working."
South Park
"Scan for any children reported found in the Dallas-Fort Worth area"
South Park
"- with a facial deformity. - Working."
South Park
"- Negative. - This is hopeless."
South Park
"Wait a minute. Let's try it this way. Computer!"
South Park
"Scan databanks for children who reported their parents missing."
South Park
"Working. One million six thousand hits."
South Park
"Working. Three hundred twenty one thousand hits."
South Park
"All right, now run a scan"
South Park
"on homogenised versus pasteurised skim milk."
South Park
"In skim form, homogenised has longer shelf life by 2.3 weeks."
South Park
"Okay, okay, now give me a breakdown"
South Park
"who also suffer from a disease called TPS."
South Park
"Torsonic Polarity Syndrome plus a claim to not know parents."
South Park
"- One match. - Bingo."
South Park
"- Do you have a photo? - Printing."
South Park
"SOUTH PARK"
South Park
"They found the butt-face people's son, Butters!"
South Park
"They're gonna have a big reunion at the milk company."
South Park
"Oh, gee, that sounds swell, fellas."
South Park
"Why are you wearing a paper bag on your head?"
South Park
"My parents are making me wear this paper bag on my head"
South Park
"until I learn to stop making silly faces all the time."
South Park
"They've really had it up to here with me."
South Park
"Butters, are you ready to stop with the stupid faces?"
South Park
"I sure am, Dad."
South Park
"All right, you can take the paper bag off."
South Park
"- Thanks, Dad, I'm sorry I was... - Oh, very funny, young man!"
South Park
"You think it's clever to make yourself up like a girl?"
South Park
"- But, Dad, I didn't... - Did you use your mother's makeup?"
South Park
"- She's going to be furious. - I'm not wearing makeup, Dad."
South Park
"Dude, that poor kid."
South Park
"Yeah, we got to remember to kick his ass tomorrow."
South Park
"Dear Mom, I can no longer stand to be without a sense of humour."
South Park
"Without laughter, the world is a cold and sad place,"
South Park
"and I can't go out to face it any more."
South Park
"Please tell everyone why I won't be at school."
South Park
"And please buy me more chocolate guns."
South Park
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