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Clips from South Park - The Coon (S13E13)

"is obviously really cool,"
South Park
"we should also be asking each other,"
South Park
""why does he care so much for the people of this town ?"
South Park
""why does he sacrifice himself every night"
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"and does he really have the right ?""
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"what we all need now--"
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"clyde, clyde, could you wake up please ?"
South Park
"what we all need now is proof that the coon exists."
South Park
"i believe that tonight, from approximately 5:00 to 5:45"
South Park
"the coon is going to be on the roof of walgreens."
South Park
"i'm sure many of you will too."
South Park
"the more criminals i try to stop"
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"the more just come out of the back alleys"
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"and dilapidated bars."
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"the city is a dying whore."
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"and i don't know if i can."
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"but she is still my city"
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"and i cannot just sit and watch"
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"who the hell is that ?"
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"who the hell are you ?"
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"as violence and darkness take over the streets,"
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"i work to rid the streets of crime."
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"oh, no, no, no, no, no."
South Park
"dude, seriously, you can't do that."
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"go home, i was doing this first."
South Park
"nu-uh."
South Park
"yeah-huh !"
South Park
"and now you're being a copycat !"
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"is that your name, copycat ?"
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"i am mysterion. mysterion ?"
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"that's fucking retarded."
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"you just gave yourself away, craig."
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"only you would think of a name that dumb."
South Park
"my identity must remain a secret."
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"you cannot know."
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"yeah, well, you can't know my true identity either !"
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"well, you're wrong !"
South Park
"oh, all right, kyle."
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"yeah, took me real long to figure it out."
South Park
"only you, kyle, would be a buzzkill"
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"and try to steal my thunder."
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"you're just doing this 'cause you hate me, kyle !"
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"are you saying you're eric cartman ?"
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"no, i'm-- i'm saying that--"
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"goddamn it, stan, is that you ?!"
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"clyde ?!"
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"there are innocents to protect."
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"no !"
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"dude, i'm seriously, you're being a copycat !"
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"i'll sue you !"
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"motherfucker !"
South Park
"which one of them is it ?"
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"somebody is dressing up"
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"and pretending to be a superhero, but who ?"
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"has to be one of the guys in my class"
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"'cause only they knew the coon"
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"would be on the rooftop of walgreens."
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"no, stop."
South Park
"can't think about that right now."
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"everything the coon has lived and fought for"
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"comes down to tomorrow."
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"this is just... this is fucking ridiculous !"
South Park
"got everything you need here, sir ?"
South Park
"okay on beverages, buffet items ?"
South Park
"yes, it's fine."
South Park
"great-- hey, i just want to say that the airport hilton"
South Park
"really appreciates your continued business."
South Park
"what do you mean, "continued" ?"
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"you don't know who i am."
South Park
"aren't you that little boy who had his ginger pride rally"
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"and his aids benefit here before ?"
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"no, i'm not that kid !"
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"oh, oh really ? my bad."
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"that kid was kind of a douche bag."
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"get out of here !"
South Park
"heh !"
South Park
"oh, hello, sweetie, what did you do today ?"
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"i got boned, that's what i did, mom !"
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"i can't tell you what happened"
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"'cause it's about my super-secret double life !"
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"( man on television ) tonight, an incredible story"
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"of an unknown child in south park"
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"wha-what ?!"
South Park
"but who exactly is... mysterion ?"
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"what ?!"
South Park
"curious crowds in the town of south park, colorado."
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"they've brought binoculars and camera phones,"
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"trying to get a shot of a mysterious superhero."
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"he was dressed mostly in black with a kind of cloak."
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"he jumped down from the fire-escape stairs"
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"and then he just ran off."
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"we barely got a look at him !"
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"everyone who seen mysterion say, "yeah.""
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"well, i think he's kind of a symbol"
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"for the town, y'know ?"
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"a symbol that everyone who's sick of crime"
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"can rally behind."
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"fucking butthole."
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"well, if you ask me, he's a menace."
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"there's no room for vigilantism in today's world."
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"( reporter ) this artist rendition of mysterion"
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"has already generated thousands of copies."
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"as hundreds of people gather to try and get a glimpse"
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"of the superhero, one question remains:"
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"who is mysterion ? who is he ? it could be my child or yours !"
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"if you have any idea about the true identity of mysterion,"
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"rahghgh !"
South Park
"as my city became a cesspool of crime."
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"i decided it was up to me to keep this town safe."
South Park
"what news do you have ?"
South Park
"i think those 6th-grade kids are doing it."
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"is harassing mexicans again."
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"we'll get right on it, mysterion."
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"god speed, mysterion !"
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"( detective ) you are a beacon of hope"
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"in an otherwise bleak and dreary world !"
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"dude, seriously,"
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"i'm gonna kick the shit out of you if you don't stop."
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"it cries for protection and i will"
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"that's what i'm supposed to say !"
South Park
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