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Clips from South Park - The Coon (S13E13)

"* headed on up to south park *"
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"* come on down to south park *"
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"* and meet some friends of mine *"
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"everything went to crap."
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"then the stores had to shut down."
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"i've chosen to become more than a man."
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"the coon."
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"as the world plummets into despair,"
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"lisa, i had a really great time tonight."
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"i did too, josh."
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"not at all."
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"excuse me ?"
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"get out of here, get to safety !"
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"aghgh !"
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"ahghggh, ow !"
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"aww, that really stings."
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"it's too quiet."
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"it's no coincidence."
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"what ?"
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"i think the mayor might be involved."
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"who's holding her leash."
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"no, i'm just over here now."
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"or i'm gonna put you in the jail and call your parents."
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"now i'm back over here."
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"i'm right here now."
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"all right, stop it !"
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"yes, i have to go now."
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"that might interest you."
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"what's in here ?"
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"you guys hear that another rape victim"
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"got saved by a superhero last night ?"
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"i know, right ? who is the coon ?"
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"and taking the law into their own hands."
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"as for me, i certainly don't agree with"
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"if you ask me, there's no room in this world"
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"for vigilantes."
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"i believe the coon is a menace."
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"yeah, and dressing up and running around at night"
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"you're a fag, kyle !"
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"fuck you !"
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"well, i'm just mad 'cause you shouldn't ever"
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"or do you think he's a dangerous vigilante ?"
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""to rid our streets of crime ?"
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"this is important."
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"i know i'll be there will my camera."
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"sometimes it seems"
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"she calls out to me to save her"
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"as innocent people are..."
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"i am the symbol this town needs."
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"i am the symbol this town needs."
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"you heard of the coon"
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"and then again i might not be."
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"i assume you must be cartman, because you're fat."
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"i'm not eric cartman and he's not fat !"
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"care to guess again ?"
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"i really don't care who you are."
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"kyle hates eric cartman."
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"it is you, isn't ?"
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"clyde, you're not a superhero, i am !"
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"i cannot stand here and make idle conversation any longer."
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"i have to focus."
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"how is it that nobody came to coonicon '09 ?"
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"i'm actually relieved."
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"you're a fucking douche bag !"
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"i try to do good stuff and nobody even notices !"
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"oh, what happened, hon ?"
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"who has taken to the streets in an effort to fight crime."
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"to me it looked like mysterion to me."
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"yeah ! yeah ! yeah !"
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"who is mysterion ?"
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"please call the 9 news hotline."
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"i have lived in south park all my life."
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"but tonight i am mysterion."
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"ah, mysterion, thank god you've come."
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"and the guy at the movie theater"
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"thank you."
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"thank you for all your help."
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"the city needs my help."
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"answer the call to save her. answer the call to save her !"
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"i know it's you, kyle, just stop."
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"any of you do anything interesting last night ?"
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"dude, what the hell ?"
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"unless you are mysterion !"
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"what, why ?!"
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"he just wears his underwear over his butt-fucking pants !"
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"i was at the end of my rope."
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"sometimes when a superhero needs answers,"
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"what's the matter, coon ?"
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"i need information."
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"oh, i'm sure you do."
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"i didn't call you to fight, chaos."
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"oh, i'm close !"
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"and i'll put an end to him"
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"and all of you goodie two-shoe heroes."
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"do you think i'm a fool ?"
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"and then gave-- you gave me titty-twisters."
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"not this time, coon."
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"ahggh !"
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"yeah !"
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"why would you help us ?"
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"because mysterion is trying to--"
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"ugh !"
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"little fucker, that fucking hurt !"
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"because mysterion is trying to say"
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"yeah, but he's a fucking dick."
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"very well."
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"look, i'm the good guy, chaos."
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"oh, yeah."
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"hello, kyle."
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"do not be afraid."
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"i mean you no harm."
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"hey, hey, you're that mysterion kid !"
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"yes, but now i believe someone is trying"
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"to learn my true identity."
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"dude, everyone's trying to figure out who you are !"
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"do some investigating."
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"who, me ? why ?"
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"here's our computer relays."
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"i'll take a sprite."
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"get the coon a sprite, general disarray."
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