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Clips from American Vandal - Hard Facts: Vandalism and Vulgarity (S01E01)

"My name is Dylan Maxwell, and I'm..."
American Vandal
"I don't know, dude. I'm just Dylan."
American Vandal
"Of course, he did it."
American Vandal
"This is not an isolated incident."
American Vandal
"...has exhausted all other disciplinary options with Dylan."
American Vandal
"For the sake of the other students and their learning environment,"
American Vandal
""fuck you" to whoever did."
American Vandal
"Consider for a moment the type of person"
American Vandal
"What do they look like? Who do they hang out with?"
American Vandal
"Where do they sit in the cafeteria?"
American Vandal
"It doesn't seem right."
American Vandal
"Or are you picturing someone more like this?"
American Vandal
"Yeah. You're not alone."
American Vandal
"Oceanside Police took statements and collected spray paint left"
American Vandal
"at the northeast corner of the parking lot."
American Vandal
"A criminal hearing for Dylan will likely take place this summer."
American Vandal
"It will take the district court months to process charges for felony vandalism,"
American Vandal
"but the school board only needed two weeks to process their decision."
American Vandal
"I'm so sorry."
American Vandal
"- I didn't do it, Mom. - I know."
American Vandal
"so, he knows he can't really lie to me,"
American Vandal
"I've personally known Dylan for two years."
American Vandal
"Hi. Welcome to the Morning Show."
American Vandal
"You can see why the school board was convinced"
American Vandal
"The school structured their case against Dylan using four major points."
American Vandal
"Sure. Uh, I'd just come back to pick up some books."
American Vandal
"I came out into the parking lot, and..."
American Vandal
"...I saw Dylan Maxwell spray-painting the cars."
American Vandal
"Oh, hundred percent."
American Vandal
"Oh, well, I was coming out of the school over there."
American Vandal
"And he just went... Every single car along this row."
American Vandal
"So, would you say he was frantic about it,"
American Vandal
"Dylan's friends were his best bet."
American Vandal
"They call themselves the Wayback Boys."
American Vandal
"But when it comes to reliability, they don't exactly fit the bill."
American Vandal
"to see if they could keep their story straight."
American Vandal
"Yeah, probably 'cause of the dicks."
American Vandal
"So, where were you yesterday afternoon?"
American Vandal
"And you were there the whole day?"
American Vandal
"So, where were you yesterday afternoon?"
American Vandal
"We were making prank calls."
American Vandal
"And where was Dylan Maxwell?"
American Vandal
"Yeah. He shits at Priceless Moments."
American Vandal
"against someone else's butt, and then pooping into their butthole."
American Vandal
"Okay, okay."
American Vandal
"You say he's at your house."
American Vandal
"All right. What I have right now is purple for theories and yellow for facts."
American Vandal
"What bothers me are these conflicting testimonies."
American Vandal
"He wasn't at either. He was drawing the dicks."
American Vandal
"Instead, he was at Hanover High School,"
American Vandal
"it's not easy to trust Dylan and his friends."
American Vandal
"- Those guys are idiots. - Again."
American Vandal
"You either trust Alex Trimboli from the National Honor Society,"
American Vandal
"or you trust Dylan and his friends,"
American Vandal
"So, what's your opinion on Alex Trimboli?"
American Vandal
"Come on, dude."
American Vandal
"Okay, if Dylan cheated on a test in school..."
American Vandal
"Yeah."
American Vandal
"That doesn't help."
American Vandal
"- Say no. Say no. - Well, I mean, I ain't know that, what?"
American Vandal
"- I also feel... - But that's different."
American Vandal
"- School is different than... - Yeah."
American Vandal
"Like, I was with this dude."
American Vandal
"He was here."
American Vandal
"to the media server room where that's held?"
American Vandal
"Uh... Nine students:"
American Vandal
"Christa Carlyle,"
American Vandal
"but deleting security footage from the school's private server?"
American Vandal
"There's only a short list of people capable of that."
American Vandal
"Nine people who could've done it,"
American Vandal
"or at the very least, helped the person who did."
American Vandal
"I've started referring to them as the Morning Show Nine."
American Vandal
"Nine hundred and fifty-eight students enrolled in Hanover High, correct?"
American Vandal
"Yeah."
American Vandal
"What? Like, I like it really, really, really sharp."
American Vandal
"- Dylan. - It's still not sharp."
American Vandal
"Yes. I had just given him another week of detention."
American Vandal
"Were any of the other teachers' tires slashed?"
American Vandal
"Yes, mine was the only one."
American Vandal
"and drew the first dick on her car, that he would just keep going"
American Vandal
"Oh, really? So, he's vandalized your car prior?"
American Vandal
"Dylan was a known dick drawer."
American Vandal
"I mean, yeah, I draw..."
American Vandal
"access to security footage,"
American Vandal
"Does that change things for you?"
American Vandal
"You're right. All of the whiteboard dicks look the same."
American Vandal
"Yeah."
American Vandal
"- Yeah, way better mushroom heads. - Exactly."
American Vandal
"If you're concerned about time,"
American Vandal
"These are the dicks that you drew in Shapiro's class."
American Vandal
"- Oh, shit, these are totally different. - Yeah, they're completely different. Yeah."
American Vandal
"Wow."
American Vandal
"Mine's way different. I usually just do, like, a..."
American Vandal
"Greg made me get a job working for fucking Postmates."
American Vandal
"Postmates is kind of like pizza delivery, except it's not pizza."
American Vandal
"you know, I'm like... Obviously I'm gonna get a smoothie."
American Vandal
"- of the school board's case, right? - Dude."
American Vandal
"She has it out for me."
American Vandal
"to focus your energy on one kid?"
American Vandal
"but ultimately it came down to his word against hers,"
American Vandal
"You're saying you've never seen Ms. Shapiro's car?"
American Vandal
"For all I know, she could have a beige fucking motorcycle."
American Vandal
"They say he deleted the security footage."
American Vandal
"I mean, yeah, but it's very difficult."
American Vandal
"That's hilarious."
American Vandal
"that stores the right security camera at the right time,"
American Vandal
"But we actually go way-er back than most people even realize."
American Vandal
"You look at the difference, you're just like:"
American Vandal
"With 29 videos, 5,173 views, and 358 subscribers,"
American Vandal
"- And this is Baby Farting. - And this is Baby Farting."
American Vandal
"- What up? I'm Dylan. - And I'm Lucas."
American Vandal
"to edit and upload his own videos to YouTube."
American Vandal
"So, is he really as dumb as he lets on?"
American Vandal
"That's why I told them I was shitting at Priceless Moments."
American Vandal
"different."
American Vandal
"I think I love her."
American Vandal
"But, I mean, obviously, there's other girls..."
American Vandal
"I already told them to go through my phone, and..."
American Vandal
"Ruff was here."
American Vandal
"Like, at first, I didn't... I mean, I didn't even think"
American Vandal
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