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Clips from Please Like Me - Ham (S02E02)

"Yeah... But don't sit there. Come here... This is my friend."
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"- So why are you here? - I'm a sex addict."
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"before they're an official addict?"
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"I never found anyone that wants to fuck me."
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"Boring, isn't it?"
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"I tricked the nurses into telling me."
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"Gosh."
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"You see, in here..."
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"we separate into illness."
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"I saw you talking to the eating disorders."
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"- Like prison? - Yeah."
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"That is the most terrifying combination of places I could imagine."
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"Does anybody want that last chocolate?"
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"Why don't we play that game from the film?"
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"- "Notting Hill"? - Yeah, yeah, yeah,"
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"Here?"
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"Whoever has the worst losing-your-virginity story"
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"gets the chocolate, yeah?"
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"I know this, I know this."
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"I thought he was inside her, but he wasn't really."
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"No."
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"I thought I was doing a good job."
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"No, it turns out my room was just dusty."
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"See, I always told you to tidy your room and you never did."
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"- You never listen to me. - Yeah, that's why."
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"Ginger?"
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"I was saving myself for marriage, but my first love,"
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"and I slept with his best friend."
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"I vomited on him."
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"Okay, so."
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"I mean, I still think Mum is winning."
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"Hannah."
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"I was raped."
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"That... That's..."
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"That's very forward of you."
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"No, Hannah, I'm really sorry, okay?"
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"If Mum had known, I'm sure she wouldn't have asked."
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"I was gonna get the chocolate."
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"- I was raped, too. - What?"
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"I didn't know that rape counted."
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"She's lying."
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"Am not."
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"- Are you lying? - No."
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"Why?"
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"I'm sorry, Hannah."
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"Didn't I say he was handsome?"
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"they won't let us have a hair dryer in here."
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"Joshy, the food is so good."
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"just to the regular beds."
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"you're a risk, they will force you to stay with them, okay?"
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"♪ Oh the good Lord knows it ♪"
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"♪ Make my mama turn another blind eye ♪"
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"Have you found a boyfriend yet?"
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"I gotta help Patrick set up for his birthday party."
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"Yes, Patrick."
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"No, I have the party, I just..."
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"Hey, little fella."
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"I think I have a really big penis."
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"Yeah, but I'm just coming to terms with it, like,"
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"Like, six inches is average."
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"Seven."
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"He's asking because"
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"I'm worried I put this ham on too late."
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"Hi, I don't think we've met, I'm Tom."
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"Hi."
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"Tom was just telling us about his massive penis."
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"- No. - Our mistake."
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"It's... It's rubbish,"
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"No, it's not rubbish."
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"Bragging about your penis, Tom, what the fuck?"
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"Oopsie-daisy."
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"I could see that."
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"Meh."
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"I know. Yeah."
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"to stop it, but I just don't."
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"Yeah."
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"we could have something to do."
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""Hey.""
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""Do you...""
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"Patrick, don't you... That's my frog costume."
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"I'm gonna go in the spa soon."
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"I don't have enough body confidence."
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"Great, so now I'm physically comparable"
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"Can you go rescue my frog costume?"
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"Everyone has those stupid things now."
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"I like it, that's my frog costume."
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"You're gonna have to let go of the frog costume, dude."
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"She's 18, though."
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"You don't have any lime or salt, so..."
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"Come on, it's my birthday."
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"I'm adopted."
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"and I didn't know how to tell them,"
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"No way, I'm mental."
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"They think it's maybe hereditary."
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"- I... - Yeah."
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"You sure you're okay, Josh?"
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"'Cause you've had a rough day with your mum and all."
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"I'm not the monster."
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"Can we..."
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"I'm not gonna not drink them."
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"All right, Joshy."
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"No, come on. It's like a peace offering."
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"Stay here. Just wait... Just stay right here."
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"Look me up on Facebook."
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"Yeah?"
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"- Me too. - I know that."
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"Your first time was with Dad?"
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"Yeah."
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"I mean, I was raped on the first time as well."
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"- Really? - Yeah."
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"You owe me a chocolate."
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"Good, I'm great... I'm really, really good."
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"I have to go now though, okay?"
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"Yeah, bring me chocolate!"
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"they're gonna be happy."
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"I'm just very worried about this ham."
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"I... Yeah, it is."
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"Do you think it's an issue that she's a child?"
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"Okay, yeah. Gosh."
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"and then they smell the pee to check if they're ovulating."
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