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Clips from Hot in Cleveland - Good Neighbors (S01E01)

"I don't even know their names, and they don't know mine."
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"That was the L.A. us."
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"I found a picture in a magazine, and I gave it to my hair stylist."
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"I can't compete with someone who's doping."
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"No, a little further."
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"Beneficial dryness force."
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"You never told us what your senior prom theme was."
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"Let me guess... a night to try to remember?"
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"I got great Lake Latkes."
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"Some of us happen to like a little pollution."
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"a pad or..."
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"What are you talking about? They're pants."
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"With an attractive inner padding."
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"- It's a diaper. - It's not a diaper!"
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"And they are paying me a ton of money to..."
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"Isn't this great? Look how happy and relaxed everyone is."
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"I know. In L.A., by now, I'd have had at least one conversation"
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"It took me an hour and a half to blow this dry."
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"We weren't gonna say anything."
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"I write a column on Cleveland, what I like, what I don't like."
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"Jotted down 200 things I wanted to do one day."
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"Although it wasn't on television for 27 years."
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"but they never went to."
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"So what made you choose Cleveland over L.A.?"
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"You know, Melanie isn't as accustomed"
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"I meant to say that people in L.A. are vain and superficial."
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"You try to fix that, you will only make it worse."
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"And a columnist. I don't want him not to like me."
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"I'm gonna staple my mouth shut."
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"'Cause, there have been studies, and it's ver..."
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"So we're backward."
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"How about we all have some Cuyahoga River punch?"
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"- What am I gonna do? - Stop worrying so much."
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"Just leave it alone. It'll blow over."
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"And he'll see that I'm a nice person, because he's a nice person, right?"
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"That's why you're gonna come over there and back me up."
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"I don't think we want to interrupt that."
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"Should I have brought beer? Or is that insulting?"
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"- He's not home. We'll try again later. - Wait, no. I see his computer."
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"I can't believe you left without me."
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"Stop saying that. It is the Mrs. Ladypant beneficial dryness force."
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"Are we breaking into or what?"
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"What? Is it bad?"
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"Let's go."
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"- Something else. - No. I mean, it's still there."
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"- He's gonna know I was there. - Great. We better hurry."
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"Why didn't you say something?"
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"All the cool seniors stay home anyway."
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"I can help you."
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"All right, there was one more."
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"- I hope I'm not disturbing you. - Not at all. I'm just not..."
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"What? You're dressed just fine."
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"I just wanted to see you again."
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"earlier in the day."
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"I don't know. I guess the only word for it would be primal."
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"Smooth."
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"They're shellacked."
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"I like you a lot."
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"Which, at my age, is dangerous."
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"My eyes are up here."
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"Why, thank you."
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"I hope this marks a turning point..."
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"He didn't change his column."
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"Take everything you used to think"
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"For relaxing times,"
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"But just remember, it's only airing in Japan."
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"calling to blow smoke up my... well, you know."
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"The strangest thing just happened to me."
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"I had a conversation with a neighbor."
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"I never even saw my neighbors in L.A."
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"Except during earthquakes."
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"and as our electronic gates were opening,"
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"And the world was good."
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"Here, we're gonna get to know our neighbors."
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"I'm throwing a party."
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"Tomorrow. Look at me being all spontaneous."
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"I changed my hair."
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"Why would..."
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"I mean, why?"
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"I wanted something fresh."
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"Was it a picture of Elmo?"
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"This red hair comes with a temper."
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"I will cut you."
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"Okay, red, what's going on?"
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"Max invited me to the senior senior prom."
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"That is so cute."
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"Yeah, if you think..."
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"piranhas surrounding a baby seal is cute."
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"So the ladies love Max, huh?"
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"Especially Agnes Bratford."
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"Or should I say fat-ass hag-ford."
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"She doesn't sound like much of a rival."
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"She takes hormone replacements."
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"I have to take it up a notch."
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"Now I just need the dress to make it all pop."
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"Don't forget the red nose and floppy shoes."
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"Oh, my God. Is that Victoria Chase?"
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"- Victoria Chase? - It's my Agent."
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"He sent a text, but I can't read it. My glasses are upstairs."
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"A Japanese company wants me to do a commercial."
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"Years of honing my craft, and finally my dream is coming true."
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"Your dream is to do a Japanese commercial?"
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"To sell out for an obscene amount of money."
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"What's the product?"
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"I'm not sure."
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"Probably some sort of antiperspirant."
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"I heard Brad Pitt did a Japanese commercial for baby formula."
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"I know, and now nutrition breast juice wow"
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"is, like, the number one brand."
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"Let's play a game."
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"Raise your hand if you've got a boyfriend."
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"Hot In Cleveland 1x05 - Good Neighbors"
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"- Cupcakes are up. - Actually,"
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"they're Ohio cakes."
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"'cause they're round on the ends and high in the middle."
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"Get it? O-hi-o."
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"Are you sure you're not high in the middle?"
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"I just want to make a good impression."
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"And I have drew curry"
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"with Lebron rice."
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