Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Community (2009) - Cooperative Polygraphy (S05E05)

"- Ms. Bennett. - Hmm?"
Community (2009)
"- State your name. - Shirley Bennett."
Community (2009)
"Are you a dishonest person?"
Community (2009)
"- No. - She thinks that's true."
Community (2009)
"I'm watching you acting scientific"
Community (2009)
"and then adding your little 2¢ every now and again."
Community (2009)
"Huh? Continue."
Community (2009)
"Is it true that you're a platinum level donor"
Community (2009)
"with the pro-life organization prenatalpatriots.org?"
Community (2009)
"- What? - Keep it cool, girls."
Community (2009)
"Yeah, well, if I wanted the Government in my uterus,"
Community (2009)
"Keep it frosty, ladies. Don't let your goats get gotched."
Community (2009)
"- Mr. Barnes, state your name. - Troy Barnes."
Community (2009)
"D'oh! I meant to say, "butts Carlton.""
Community (2009)
"He did mean to say, "Butts Carlton.""
Community (2009)
"She said it."
Community (2009)
"Did you get angry when Mr. Hawthorne told you Fat Albert died of diabetes?"
Community (2009)
"Yes, like any American would."
Community (2009)
"- Angry enough to murder him? - No."
Community (2009)
"Is it true that you and Abed Nadir have an elaborate doomsday escape plan"
Community (2009)
"to be used in the event of zombie attacks?"
Community (2009)
"We may have a designated rendezvous point"
Community (2009)
"just in case we need to bargain our way onto a boat."
Community (2009)
"The gold coins are for buying food."
Community (2009)
"- Pass. - Answer the question."
Community (2009)
"- No. - Troy! Rude!"
Community (2009)
"It's a doomsday plan, not a picnic plan."
Community (2009)
"Do you really wanna see the horrors"
Community (2009)
"we might have to endure just to get on a boat?"
Community (2009)
"- I guess not. - That's a lie."
Community (2009)
"- Ah! - He's doing it again."
Community (2009)
"- Pierce is doing it again. - Mr. Chang, state your name."
Community (2009)
"Nothing to hide. Let's do this."
Community (2009)
"Have you ever masturbated in the study room?"
Community (2009)
"- Mr. Nadir, state your name. - Abed Nadir."
Community (2009)
"Have you ever 9/11'd anyone?"
Community (2009)
"- Nope. - When you were a child,"
Community (2009)
"and was surprised that you felt nothing"
Community (2009)
"and wondered if you were capable of doing it to a human?"
Community (2009)
"You logged in at our place and never logged out, so we use it."
Community (2009)
"Is that why my review of The Grey is constantly changing?"
Community (2009)
"- Yes, stop giving it four stars. - I like Liam Neeson!"
Community (2009)
"Then send him a message about the roles he chooses."
Community (2009)
"- I had no idea. - Lie."
Community (2009)
"Why would I even try that?"
Community (2009)
"- State your name please, Miss. - Annie Edison."
Community (2009)
"Miss Edison, did you use your exceptional intelligence"
Community (2009)
"and organizational skills to plot the foolproof murder of Pierce Hawthorne?"
Community (2009)
"Aww! And no."
Community (2009)
"Is it true that you overcharged Troy and Abed for their share of the rent?"
Community (2009)
"- Pierce! - Annie?"
Community (2009)
"Yes, but for a good reason. You guys know you're bad with money."
Community (2009)
"I padded your share of the rent by $10"
Community (2009)
"and I've been putting it into a savings account that yields 4%."
Community (2009)
"You'll be thanking me in six years when you find out you have $86."
Community (2009)
"- That's jacket money. - Oh, did you hear that, Abed?"
Community (2009)
"We've been washing paper plates and making our own toothpaste."
Community (2009)
"But don't you worry."
Community (2009)
"When we have robot bodies on the moon, we can share a free jacket."
Community (2009)
"Annie, you should know better than to horde money."
Community (2009)
"That's a stereotype."
Community (2009)
"- Was that anti-semitism? - No! That's sensitivity."
Community (2009)
"It's anti-semitic to do things like that when you know full well you're Jewish."
Community (2009)
"- Whoa. - We could have bought a tire"
Community (2009)
"for our tire swing with that money."
Community (2009)
"- Liam Neeson? Not that great. - Your rating system is flawed."
Community (2009)
"All right!"
Community (2009)
"- Let's begin. - Wait, wait."
Community (2009)
"What do you mean, "begin"?"
Community (2009)
"That completes the calibration round of questioning."
Community (2009)
"I think we're ready to end. We've humored this long enough."
Community (2009)
"Jeff... It's for Pierce."
Community (2009)
"Look, respect for the dead is only a thing"
Community (2009)
"because the dead usually don't do any more damage."
Community (2009)
"- Ah. - That's true."
Community (2009)
"You can quit any time you like."
Community (2009)
"But it should be noted that Mr. Hawthorne's estate"
Community (2009)
"is worth over $20 million"
Community (2009)
"and only those cleared of his murder can receive their bequeathments."
Community (2009)
"I'm only gonna say this once."
Community (2009)
"Clearly, Pierce is trying to lure us"
Community (2009)
"into a labyrinth of emotional manipulation and strategic instigation."
Community (2009)
"And I think we're all smart enough to know we should quit while we're not ahead."
Community (2009)
"- I do believe we should... - Yes, definitely."
Community (2009)
"- Quit while we're ahead. - Absolutely."
Community (2009)
"- Yep. - They're all lying."
Community (2009)
"We all know that, you judgmental bitch!"
Community (2009)
"Miss Perry, have you ever eaten at the sandwich shop"
Community (2009)
"started by Mrs. Bennet and Mr. Hawthorne?"
Community (2009)
"Yes."
Community (2009)
"The only one I can, the Helen of Soy with no mayo."
Community (2009)
"and replaced it with a midwestern tofu substitute called "meatfu"?"
Community (2009)
"- Oh, my God! Oh! - It's still not actually meat... Legally."
Community (2009)
"- I'm sorry! - Shirley, did you know"
Community (2009)
"that Britta was high on marijuana at your son's baptism?"
Community (2009)
"I'm sorry?"
Community (2009)
"- Well, no higher than usual. - Not true."
Community (2009)
"You did drugs in my church?"
Community (2009)
"How else do you expect somebody to sit through something like that?"
Community (2009)
"At least with a bris there's an element of suspense."
Community (2009)
"Well, next time, I'll have Cheech and Chong do the warm-up!"
Community (2009)
"If we want to beat Pierce at his game,"
Community (2009)
"we have to own up to our mistakes and forgive each other."
Community (2009)
"Mr. Winger, is it true that you keep trophies of your sexual conquests?"
Community (2009)
"In a church, Britta? For shame."
Community (2009)
"- It's where Jesus gets his mail. - Answer the question, Adrian Grody!"
Community (2009)
"I have a box of forgotten items in my apartment."
Community (2009)
"I happen to be a single male. Visitors leave things."
Community (2009)
"Is one of your trophies a pair of Miss Perry's panties?"
Community (2009)
"You exploited me and made me believe in a slightly more magical world."
Community (2009)
"If you want to collect women's underwear, can't you just buy them?"
Community (2009)
"- Jeffrey! - Awesome."
Community (2009)
"I think we can all agree that the gross thing here"
Community (2009)
"is that Pierce is snooping through my stuff."
Community (2009)
"Not really, Abed and I go through your stuff all the time."
Community (2009)
"Why do you keep bread in the freezer?"
Community (2009)
"And why does your bathroom mirror say, "You're special," when you fog it up?"
Community (2009)
"Look, I don't have to answer these..."
Community (2009)
"- You took a shower? - Yeah."
Community (2009)
"- Mr. Barnes. - Okay! I did it! Okay? I killed Pierce!"
Community (2009)
Show more clips