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Clips from Louie - Late Show: Part 3 (S03E03)

"This is either a door or a wall for me"
Louie
"I don't-- Please."
Louie
"Okay then... let's see the funny."
Louie
"This is it, bud."
Louie
"One, two, three, funny."
Louie
"Done and done."
Louie
"Let's go, kid, you want the big gig?"
Louie
"Let's see it."
Louie
"Two..."
Louie
"You know what your problem is?"
Louie
"You're--"
Louie
"You're just a pencil..."
Louie
"penis..."
Louie
"parade."
Louie
"Ooh, I'm--"
Louie
"Nyah!"
Louie
"You just bought yourself another week."
Louie
"Go home and get some rest."
Louie
"Please leave this room."
Louie
"Sit down."
Louie
"No, genius, sit in the host's chair,"
Louie
"for crying in a cup."
Louie
"Okay, interviews."
Louie
"We-- What?"
Louie
"Conduct an interview!"
Louie
"What?"
Louie
"Just a sec."
Louie
"Jesus Christ."
Louie
"This is Elaine."
Louie
"She cleans here."
Louie
"Have a seat, Elaine."
Louie
"Please."
Louie
"Okay."
Louie
"Interviews."
Louie
"Hello."
Louie
""Hello"?"
Louie
"You played a song, you kissed her, she sat down!"
Louie
"Uh... how are you?"
Louie
"How is she?"
Louie
"Find out, ask a question."
Louie
"If you would stop yelling at me, maybe I'd do it right."
Louie
"If you did it right, I wouldn't have to yell at you."
Louie
"Interview."
Louie
"Go!"
Louie
"Uh..."
Louie
"Tell me about your parents."
Louie
"Oh, well, my mother was actually dancer."
Louie
"She was in the ballet."
Louie
"Really?"
Louie
"Did she dance around the house a lot?"
Louie
"I don't know."
Louie
"I don't remember much."
Louie
"She died when I was eight."
Louie
"Oh, this is terrific, just wonderful."
Louie
"Tune in every night, folks!"
Louie
"It's the crying cleaning lady show."
Louie
"Okay."
Louie
"Good evening, okay, hi!"
Louie
"Dick, dick, ass, shit."
Louie
"Okay..."
Louie
"Funny in three, two--"
Louie
"Hey. Daddy."
Louie
"What's up, everybody?"
Louie
"They insisted I bring them over here."
Louie
"They just wanted to wish you luck for your big day tomorrow."
Louie
"Daddy, we made you a card."
Louie
"Daddy, we just wanted to wish you luck for tomorrow."
Louie
"We know you can do it."
Louie
"Here you go, buster, I had this made for you."
Louie
"Well, I did my part."
Louie
"This will be the last time we see each other."
Louie
"Oh."
Louie
"If you get the show, they'll bring in some young producer."
Louie
"In any case, I told you what I know"
Louie
"and the rest is up to you."
Louie
"It's just..."
Louie
"if you can do it."
Louie
"That's it."
Louie
"Listen."
Louie
"I'm not gonna say I think you can do it"
Louie
"'cause I really have no idea,"
Louie
"the three rules of show business."
Louie
"Number one, look 'em in the eye and speak from the heart."
Louie
"And number three, if someone asks you to keep a secret,"
Louie
"You got that?"
Louie
"Yeah."
Louie
"Uh, thank-- thank you, Jack."
Louie
"Good luck."
Louie
"How you doing?"
Louie
"Jerry, hi... How are you?"
Louie
"Good, good."
Louie
"You nervous?"
Louie
"Uh, no, you know."
Louie
"Ahh, you'll be fine, you'll be fine."
Louie
"I--"
Louie
"I didn't know that they-- that you knew I was--"
Louie
"Look, Louie, there's something you need to know."
Louie
"Okay."
Louie
"I signed the contract this morning."
Louie
"and they were still making you do this"
Louie
"and it just seemed unfair."
Louie
"Wow."
Louie
"Well, congrats."
Louie
"Thank you, thank you."
Louie
"Thanks."
Louie
"That's it."
Louie
"You will be fine."
Louie
"Thanks, man. I will see you soon."
Louie
"Hey, um, nobody knows about this yet,"
Louie
"Keep it a secret."
Louie
"Sure. Thank you."
Louie
"Thank you."
Louie
""That secret is a lie.""
Louie
"It's a lie."
Louie
"Goddammit."
Louie
"Here's your host, Louis C.K.!"
Louie
"He also said he promises to kill bin Laden"
Louie
"You know, jokes-- It's a really unique thing"
Louie
"'cause you just see your death in front of you."
Louie
"All right."
Louie
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