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Clips from M*A*S*H - Edwina (S01E01)

"japanese custom."
M*A*S*H
"Fix you a martini?"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, I‘m—I‘m not a very good drinker."
M*A*S*H
"Well, I‘ll giveyou a crash course."
M*A*S*H
"I‘ve never been in a man‘s tent before."
M*A*S*H
"It‘sjust likeawoman‘s."
M*A*S*H
"No, not at all, not at all."
M*A*S*H
"|—| don‘t mind a wet T—shirt. Saves me the trouble ofsweating."
M*A*S*H
"- Eddie? — It‘s all right, Hawkeye."
M*A*S*H
"I mean, you‘re nice to try,"
M*A*S*H
"but why don‘t we not pretend anymore, huh?"
M*A*S*H
"I mean, I heard people talking. I can figure things out."
M*A*S*H
"and—and everyone will be offthe hook?"
M*A*S*H
"— Wait a second. — Oh, don‘t worry."
M*A*S*H
"— I‘ll tell everyone I had a wonderful time. — Aah!"
M*A*S*H
"[Groaning]"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, I‘m—I‘m sorry. |—— I‘m so sorry."
M*A*S*H
"That‘s okay. It‘s okay. Don‘t help me."
M*A*S*H
"Aah! Don‘t press the ice in my eye!"
M*A*S*H
"Look what I‘m doing to a doctor!"
M*A*S*H
"It‘s all right. Wait a minute. Wait a minute."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, let‘s drop it, Hawkeye. Please? Huh? The game‘s over."
M*A*S*H
"Orin my case, an ambulance."
M*A*S*H
"Come here. Sit down."
M*A*S*H
"You don‘t have to hurt somebodyjust to make sure they don‘t hurt you first."
M*A*S*H
"— |s—|s that what it is? —I think so."
M*A*S*H
"Milan]"
M*A*S*H
"Dance with me?"
M*A*S*H
"|can‘t stand it! I‘m hopeless!"
M*A*S*H
"Cheap glass. That‘s all."
M*A*S*H
"Who cares about that? That doesn‘t matter. What matters is you."
M*A*S*H
"— [ Glass Crunching] — [ G roa ni n g ]"
M*A*S*H
"- Wh-What is it? — I‘m not wearing any shoes!"
M*A*S*H
"Your feet! They must be cut to ribbons!"
M*A*S*H
"— Here, lie down. -Wait!"
M*A*S*H
"Aah!"
M*A*S*H
"—I killed you. —I don‘t have that kind ofluck."
M*A*S*H
"just give me a minute."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, I‘ve—— I‘ve never seen anyone try so hard to be considerate."
M*A*S*H
"may| kiss you?"
M*A*S*H
"— Is your mouth insured? -Shh."
M*A*S*H
"That was nice."
M*A*S*H
"—I didn‘t hurt anything? — No."
M*A*S*H
"— Oh, I will never forget this evening. — Me neither."
M*A*S*H
"— Oh, thankyou, Hawkeye. |—— I‘m so grateful. — That‘s not necessary."
M*A*S*H
"To know I can be myselfwith a man——"
M*A*S*H
"To know |—— Well, I don‘t have to beat him to the hurt."
M*A*S*H
"Good—bye, Margie. Thankyou, Doctor."
M*A*S*H
"— Good—bye, Edwina. — Good—bye."
M*A*S*H
"|fcivi|ian life gets boring, we‘re always here."
M*A*S*H
"Why are you still smiling?"
M*A*S*H
"Sort ofmissed you chasing after me these past two weeks."
M*A*S*H
"and grace and aptitude attractive..."
M*A*S*H
"Oh. This better?"
M*A*S*H
"Ow! That‘s it."
M*A*S*H
"Much better. You‘re my kind ofgirl!"
M*A*S*H
"Uh, please. Allow me."
M*A*S*H
"The Ten Commandments!"
M*A*S*H
"I knew you shouldn‘t have made that speech, Henry."
M*A*S*H
"Well, I‘m notjolly and I‘m nota fellow."
M*A*S*H
"had someone to care for me."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, he‘s come and gone."
M*A*S*H
"We were engaged for almost two years."
M*A*S*H
"The one I had my eye up against."
M*A*S*H
"I told you to stop peeking in the nurses‘ shower."
M*A*S*H
"They wouldn‘t dare."
M*A*S*H
"Besides, it’s bad for the health."
M*A*S*H
"— Right, Hawk? — Right."
M*A*S*H
"You know, you‘ve got awfully pretty legs, Henry."
M*A*S*H
"—Colonic? — Irregular."
M*A*S*H
"—I need a drink. — Double?"
M*A*S*H
"You don‘t suppose they‘re, uh——"
M*A*S*H
"You‘re very brave."
M*A*S*H
"The coffee is made ofgravy that didn‘t make it."
M*A*S*H
"— You‘re notjust saying that? — On my Hippocratic Oath."
M*A*S*H
"You wouldn‘t wanna give me one last kiss, would you,"
M*A*S*H
"— [Sizzling] — [Screaming]"
M*A*S*H
"Well, a guy can find smoothness..."
M*A*S*H
"forjust so long, you know."
M*A*S*H
"— Nice name. — Oh, it‘s a terrible name,"
M*A*S*H
"I mean, let‘s see a little fortitude, a little perseverance."
M*A*S*H
"I‘d do the same thing for my own mother."
M*A*S*H
"Where shall we sit?"
M*A*S*H
"Underneath there, ofcourse, there‘s public parking."
M*A*S*H
"— How about to dry clothes? — Oh, I‘m sorry."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, don‘t worry about me. I had the dumps as a child."
M*A*S*H
"— It came through the hole in the tent. — What tent?"
M*A*S*H
"And que sera, sera."
M*A*S*H
"Clamp."
M*A*S*H
"There are ten guys for every girl in this base."
M*A*S*H
"— Meet you in back ofthe kitchen. — Right behind the swill."
M*A*S*H
"— J For she‘s a jolly good fellow J — when / was a medical student..."
M*A*S*H
"As commanding officer,"
M*A*S*H
"You think too much. It‘s very bad."
M*A*S*H
""And there but for the ficl"
M*A*S*H
"Congratulations, pal. We really appreciate this."
M*A*S*H
"—Girls? —That‘s it!"
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, about a size 1 i, triple—A."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, well, I hope the Friends of Edwina Club appreciate the fact..."
M*A*S*H
"— No reason. — Buy me a cup ofcoffee?"
M*A*S*H