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Clips from M*A*S*H - Edwina (S01E01)

"seven, six, five,"
M*A*S*H
"We arranged that double ward duty just so you‘d be kept busy."
M*A*S*H
"Blow out the candles."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, |—- I‘m so sorry."
M*A*S*H
"— It‘s no problem. — Did you make a wish?"
M*A*S*H
"Actually, I have a wish to propose——"
M*A*S*H
"— Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. — That one‘s ours."
M*A*S*H
"— He‘s very handsome. — Mmm."
M*A*S*H
"Well, itwould have, that is."
M*A*S*H
"I wrote to him every day,"
M*A*S*H
"Now, based on my three classes in psychology, two ofwhich I cut,"
M*A*S*H
"Did you know you‘ve got sexy knuckles? |didn‘t think that was possible."
M*A*S*H
"My dear, Eddie is a lovely girl,"
M*A*S*H
"— Can you help me please? — What‘s wrong?"
M*A*S*H
"—Afinger. — How‘d you get a finger in your eye?"
M*A*S*H
"— Well, everyone needs a hobby. — You‘re gonna be fine."
M*A*S*H
"They must be allowed a moment’s respite from the trials of war."
M*A*S*H
"you have to wash your hair."
M*A*S*H
"The face that launched a thousand longer faces."
M*A*S*H
"[Hawkeye]Now, /don’t have to tell you why we’re all here tonight."
M*A*S*H
"May| say that| find this whole proposition highly——"
M*A*S*H
"when I say that ifyou don‘t lend your full cooperation..."
M*A*S*H
"Radar, the straws, please."
M*A*S*H
"to the greater good of his fello w fello ws,"
M*A*S*H
"No hard feelings. May the best man, uh, well, whatever. ""
M*A*S*H
"All right, now that we all know the procedure, let‘s go for keeps."
M*A*S*H
"You? [Laughing]"
M*A*S*H
"I almost envy Eddie."
M*A*S*H
"— Retractor. — Retractor."
M*A*S*H
"— Give me some suction here. — Suction."
M*A*S*H
"Clamp."
M*A*S*H
"In fact, I actually prefer them. They‘re one of my favorite instruments."
M*A*S*H
"Thisjob really makes me look forward to food."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, you‘re too tolerant. What I can‘t figure out is..."
M*A*S*H
"Well, what have we today?"
M*A*S*H
"Perhaps you‘d like to start with some cream ofleftover soup?"
M*A*S*H
"— Pork chops. — A very wise choice."
M*A*S*H
"The award was presented by the North Koreans."
M*A*S*H
"I‘ve tried sitting apart. It‘s very painful."
M*A*S*H
"Margie tells meyou‘ll be leaving us in a couple ofweeks."
M*A*S*H
"I have this——"
M*A*S*H
"Underneath, there‘s another me."
M*A*S*H
"Shy, sensitive, uncertain——"
M*A*S*H
"— why you‘re sitting here. — Because I find you an interesting person..."
M*A*S*H
"and I‘d like to get to know you better in the short time we have left."
M*A*S*H
"which is more binding."
M*A*S*H
"Without her, I wouldn‘t have gotten into med school."
M*A*S*H
"Hawkeye. You‘re terrific."
M*A*S*H
"Youjust button it on the other side."
M*A*S*H
"Thankyou."
M*A*S*H
"What shall we drink to?"
M*A*S*H
"So why don‘t wejust pretend we pretended,"
M*A*S*H
"Okay. Okay, it‘s over. We‘rejust two people waiting for a bus."
M*A*S*H
"Carefully?"
M*A*S*H
"Edwina,"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, wow!"
M*A*S*H
"— Heading this way. — Okay, everybody, this is it."
M*A*S*H
"Ten seconds. Nine, eight,"
M*A*S*H
"Light it."
M*A*S*H
"four, three,"
M*A*S*H
"two, one."
M*A*S*H
"Zero!"
M*A*S*H
"— Surprise! — Happy birthday!"
M*A*S*H
"[Voices Overlapping]"
M*A*S*H
"— [ Gasps] — Happy birthday, Eddie. Surprised?"
M*A*S*H
"Oh! Wow!"
M*A*S*H
"We even hid all the bedpans just to make sure."
M*A*S*H
"[All Laughing]"
M*A*S*H
"— Oh, yes, |—— — No, don‘t tell us what it is, or it won‘t come true."
M*A*S*H
"Uh, may I make a toast?"
M*A*S*H
"No. But how about a farewell address?"
M*A*S*H
"— a wish that very soon we‘ll all be united with our loved ones. — Beautiful thought, Major."
M*A*S*H
"Let‘sjust hope nobody‘s wife or husband finds out about it."
M*A*S*H
"Come on. Get to the loot."
M*A*S*H
"— We‘re first. We‘re first. — The pink one."
M*A*S*H
"”To Eddie. Keep an eye on your brass."
M*A*S*H
"Everyone else does.”"
M*A*S*H
"— Oh, oh, oh. — Oh, thankyou."
M*A*S*H
"[ Ha wke ye ] That’s brass polish, so drink it 5/0 My."
M*A*S*H
"Thankyou. Thankyou."
M*A*S*H
"Here, here."
M*A*S*H
"Thankyou, Major."
M*A*S*H
"Autographed?"
M*A*S*H
"”To Eddie. Foryour own protection."
M*A*S*H
"From the girls.”"
M*A*S*H
"— It‘s a bulletproofgirdle. — [All Laughing]"
M*A*S*H
"[ Clearing Throat]"
M*A*S*H
"Did you wanna say something, Henry, or are you just hoping for a free tonsillectomy?"
M*A*S*H
"I believe it falls to me to saya few words."
M*A*S*H
"— J For she‘s a jolly good fellow J — Little did / dream..."
M*A*S*H
"— J For she‘s a jolly good fellow J — that one day,"
M*A*S*H
"— I would be in command—— —JWhich nobody can denyJ"
M*A*S*H
"J Which nobody can deny J"
M*A*S*H
"J Which nobody can deny J"
M*A*S*H
"— J For she‘s ajolly good fellow J — |‘m—— I‘m sorry."
M*A*S*H
"— J For she‘s a jolly good—— J — I‘m sorry!"
M*A*S*H
"- Eddie! — [Radar] What’s the matter?"
M*A*S*H
"I‘m okay, Margie, really."
M*A*S*H
"It‘sjust that song."
M*A*S*H
"” For She‘s Ajolly Good Fellow.”"
M*A*S*H
"Margie, I am 28 years old,"
M*A*S*H
"and I have never..."
M*A*S*H
"|ttakes time for the right guy to come along."
M*A*S*H
"It‘s not a good picture. Seymour Chomkey."
M*A*S*H
"but ”Mrs.” sounds so nice in front ofit."
M*A*S*H
"And then Seymour was drafted."
M*A*S*H
"I will never forgive North Korea for starting up."
M*A*S*H
"and he answered promptly once a month..."
M*A*S*H
"for the first month."
M*A*S*H
"And then, nothing."
M*A*S*H
"So I joined up too."
M*A*S*H
"I thought maybe if| became a nurse, well,"
M*A*S*H
"I might meet someone like Seymour,"
M*A*S*H
"save his life, and he would be so grateful that——"
M*A*S*H
"I‘m getting shipped home in a couple ofweeks,"
M*A*S*H
"and no Seymour and no nobody else."
M*A*S*H
"— You can‘t give up. — Who wants me to give in?"
M*A*S*H
"Lieutenant, I‘ve been very concerned about you lately."
M*A*S*H
"You look down in the dumps."
M*A*S*H
"I can tell you that your problem is all mental."
M*A*S*H
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