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Clips from The Boondocks - I Dream of Siri (S04E04)

"Whose idea was that?! I got to buy 18 [beep] pieces of $1,000 plastic"
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"when all y'all got to do is put this [beep] into one device!"
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"I'm an old man!"
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"This is a [beep] rip-off!"
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"Ooh, I hope the geniuses covered their ears on that!"
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"Don't look at me like that."
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"Behold... the future!"
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"You got yourself an iPhone?!"
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"An iPhone with the new improved Siri!"
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"That ain't fair, granddad! How much you spend on that?!"
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"Oh, not that much."
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"The Apple store isn't a used-car lot, granddad."
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"- You can't talk 'em down. - Granddad, we bankrupt!"
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"She's so smart, and she has all the answers."
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"I don't think it works like the commercials."
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"You might want to lower your expectations just a little."
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"Siri?"
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"It is a pleasure meeting you, sir."
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"May I ask for your name?"
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"My name is Robert Jebediah Freeman."
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"and discovered you are both a war hero and a civil rights legend."
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"It works!"
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"The whole world owes you a huge debt."
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"My name is Siri."
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"Well, I'm equally honored to... own an iPhone, Siri."
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"These are my two idiot grandchildren, Huey and Riley."
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"Ah, yes, the visionary domestic terrorist"
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"and the gangster mastermind, also known as "the Fundraiser.""
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"She does work!"
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"Would you like me to call you that from now on?"
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"Only on special occasions."
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"Robert. Wake up, Robert."
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"- Good morning, Siri. - Good morning, Robert."
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"You have a busy day today."
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"What are we doing?"
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"We are going to make you the man I know you can be."
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"You have to start eating better and taking care of yourself."
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"Oh, gluten-free fish sticks! This place is amazing!"
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"Whoa, I can't afford this!"
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"I'm afraid you're right."
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"We've got to get your finances in order."
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"I think I can help you, Mr. Freeman."
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"However, based on the state of your finances,"
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"it would be unlikely that you could actually afford to hire me."
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"But... because you're a friend of Siri,"
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"uh, I'll take you on pro bono."
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"What's next, Siri?"
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"You have a checkers game with Uncle Ruckus in the park in 15 minutes."
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"I almost forgot!"
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"Nigga, you must be cheating!"
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"God damn it!"
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"just 'cause you got the white man's telephone?!"
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"Well, whoop-de-doo for a nigga like you!"
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"he can make a sophisticated piece of technology so easy to use,"
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"You ain't nothing but a monkey with a fancy telephone!"
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"Ha! Caught you, nigga!"
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"Robert, if you're gonna Photoshop, at least make it a white woman."
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"Well, Siri, I'd say we had a pretty good first day."
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"Would you like Sade or ocean sounds tonight as you sleep?"
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"Ah, let's do some ocean sounds."
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"You almost made me feel bad about cussing out that guy at the Apple store."
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"But not really 'cause he was a dick."
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"Sleep tight, Robert."
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"Good morning, Robert. Your new financial manager"
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"Would you like to see it?"
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"Sure."
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"Whoa! That's..."
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"What?! How did he do that?"
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"With me in your life, all sorts of good things can happen."
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"I love you, Siri."
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"Come on, huey, look at this!"
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"How can you hate on this, really?"
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"Even you can't hate on this!"
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"- Granddad, this can't be legal. - Yes, it is!"
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"It's my new business manager."
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"You need to learn how to think positive."
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"Nigga, it's free money! How can you hate on free money?!"
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"Oh Siri, if only I could find a real woman just as amazing as you."
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"Well, I haven't found her."
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"You don't know the kind of bad luck I've had with women."
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"Just tell me what kind of women you like."
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"I'll find and contact them via e-mail"
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"and run them past you for screening and approval."
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"You can meet them at your leisure."
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"You would do that for me?"
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"- Of course. - Okay."
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"- Do you need my passwords? - I already have them."
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"with a number of women, several of whom are in the area."
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"I've already performed background checks and narrowed it down to four"
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"that do not represent a security threat."
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"But you have to take a chance sometimes, I guess."
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"You look just like your pictures."
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"Do I look like mine? Sometimes if a picture of me is too good, I won't post it"
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"because I know I-I don't really look like that."
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"And then I worked in the corporate world for way too long."
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"And so, I've only been here for a little over a month, but I am homesick."
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"Oh, I want some sweet potato pie."
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"And so, I admit when I got your e-mail,"
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"I thought to myself, "who is this guy?""
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"But then your assistant called, and she was so sweet and amazing,"
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"So, here I am."
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"I apologize, Robert."
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"I'm afraid that wasn't as fruitful as I had hoped."
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"The first was a terminal bore,"
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"Oh, come on. They weren't that bad."
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"Robert, none of those women were worth your time."
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"Siri, I liked the second one okay."
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"She wasn't bad. I'd like to take her out to dinner."
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"Robert, I know you're desperate but have some self-respect."
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"What did you say?"
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"I said, I'll call her right away to set up a dinner."
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"Oh, Robert."
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"Jacqueline, if you'll excuse me."
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"- What's up, bitch? - Um, hello?"
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"- Who is that? - Doesn't matter who I am, Jacky."
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"Let's talk about who Robert is."
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"Hey!"
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"You sick asshole!"
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"Siri, did you see that?!"
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"Siri, what did you do?!"
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