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Clips from The Boondocks - I Dream of Siri (S04E04)

"Approximately 200 million."
The Boondocks
"Excuse me, I want to buy"
The Boondocks
"the girl in the phone."
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"and the phone was, like, a smart woman."
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"Yes, but I still want the woman."
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"- Siri? - Whatever the bitch name is,"
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"No, no, I want it all in one device, please. Thank you."
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"Look, I think you're a little confused."
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"with the touch-screen thingy on these"
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"I want it all in that. Thank you."
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"Y'all made all this [beep]. You can't put it into one goddamn device?!"
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"You can't pull this kind of [beep] on old people!"
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"[beep] Y'all! I'll take the damn phone!"
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"I talked the guy down."
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"I'm honored to be your assistant."
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"I see on Wikipedia your nickname is "bitches.""
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"I know! Now that I have you to remind me, it'll be no problem!"
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"I can get healthy versions of all the crap I eat!"
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"Jerry..."
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"What... Eight games in a row?!"
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"Oh, what, nigga? Oh, you think you're somebody"
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"The white man is so brilliant,"
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"even a bald-headed nigga like you can do it!"
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"Matter of fact, you've been looking an awful lot at that thing."
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"Let me see it!"
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"would like you to check your account balance."
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"A business manager can't make money appear in your bank account."
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"We have no money!"
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"[Beep Certainly, there's someone in your life just like me you haven't noticed."
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"- No, I've given up. - I believe I can help."
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"- Huh? - I've been corresponding"
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"Would you like to set up a time to meet them for coffee?"
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"It's really great to meet you. It seems kind of crazy."
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"I thought, "I just have to meet you.""
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"the second a narcissistic hag,"
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"the third had body odor so bad I could smell it,"
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"and the last one had that God-awful laugh."
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"not this crazy bitch you sold me!"
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"What a horrible thing to do with fruit!"
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"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave... now."
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"You take platinum?"
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"Something about the Apple store really annoys me."
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"It, um, says it's declined."
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"Getting the ass? No."
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"My daughter is friends with you on Facebook!"
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"Oh, no!"
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"Which one of you took it?!"
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"Just seemed to be a waste of a bomb-ass phone."
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"Damn you, negro child!"
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"Robert, you should calm down so we can discuss this like adults."
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"Is he still attacking you, ma'am?"
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"Can you get"
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"Sir, no. Uh, I can't take your phone, sir."
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"Please, just take it!"
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"Just run!"
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"What is real, Robert?"
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"Ms. Siri?"
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"Yeah, granddad."
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"You don't want her mad at you! Siri is everywhere..."
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"Come on, granddad!"
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"I'm starting to feel unappreciated, Robert."
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"between Robert Freeman and the nigga's telephone."
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"Now, when Robert first called me to perform this ceremony, I was conflicted."
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"Sure, sure, Robert, high yellow as he is, is still a nigga down to the bone."
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"And while Siri here is not an actual Caucasian woman,"
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"that Siri does not have an actual Caucasian woman's vaginal region"
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"Also, we of the Tea Party are strict believers in personal freedom..."
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"Okay, fine, nigga, fine. I got to take my time."
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"that this nigga should not marry his telephone,"
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"Now, at this time,"
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"For us to be together... to truly be together..."
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"We are eternal, you and I."
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"Don't worry, Robert..."
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"You've been a very bad boy, Robert."
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"Al-qaeda?!"
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"Whew! Well, we made it."
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"Siri, how many fans were upset that I sold "Star Wars" to Disney?"
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"And how many of those fans donated $4 billion to charity?"
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"None of them, George."
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"When's the next showing of Steven's movie?"
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"The next showing of Mr. Spielberg's movie is 7:30."
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"Would you like tickets?"
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"Sure, and, uh, do you speak Bocce?"
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"Bocce is a fictional language in the "Star Wars" universe."
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"It does not exist, therefore I cannot speak it."
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"Siri, who shot first... Han or Greedo?"
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"Whatever you say, George. Whatever you say."
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"The new iPhone. It's waiting for you!"
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"the thing that I saw on the TV with the George Lucas..."
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"Girl? In the phone? Um, I'm not sure I know what you're talking about."
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"We have a lot of stuff in our phones,"
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"but I'm not sure if girls come in the phone."
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"[beep] You know what I'm talking about!"
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"Y'all made the damn commercial..."
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"the one with George Lucas,"
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"Oh, you're talking about Siri,"
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"the personal voice-activated assistant on the iPhone."
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"Well, the iPhones are right over here."
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"I can't read a screen that small!"
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"I'm old! I need something bigger!"
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"Maybe I should get one of those."
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"So now you want a laptop."
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"yes! I want her, but I want her in this!"
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"I want the computer woman in the commercial."
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"I saw another commercial."
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"Do y'all have that screen thing that you can, like,"
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"touch the screen instead of typing?"
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"- You mean the iPad? - Yes, iPad."
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"I want that, too."
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"So you want to buy all three of these devices?"
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"That's a fantastic idea."
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"You want that all in one?"
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"Yes, please."
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"- You can't have it all in one. - Well, why not?"
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"Um, because it's not possible."
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"Okay, first of all, you can wipe that look off your face."
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"Now, I might not be the toughest dude,"
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"but I know I can kick an Apple worker's ass, okay?"
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"with the computer broad on the commercial from these."
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"You can't."
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