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Clips from 2 Broke Girls - And the Not Regular Down There (S05E05)

"Someone, and I'm not naming Max,"
2 Broke Girls
"Well, the diner has been stealing from me."
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"in a kind of Jason Bourne situation."
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"And I thought this uniform"
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"would be the worst thing touching my body today."
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"you better have something to wipe it with."
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"Owen, Caroline. Caroline, Owen."
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"But I gotta tell you, you really took the cool out of Cool Whip."
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"Let's go in my room."
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"Mmm."
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"After last night's date, I need a rebound."
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"and you're sweatin' to the oldies?"
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"Hey."
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"Hey, can we talk over there in that booth?"
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"Caroline, cover my tables."
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"I hope these flowers like little floating meat bits."
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"Look, I want us to get to know each other"
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"well, I'm not regular down there."
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"So does it look something like..."
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"No, it doesn't have a face."
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"I heard what he said."
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"It could be anything."
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""Ripleyvitch Believe It or Nyet.""
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"I mean, you're playing penis roulette down there."
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"truly haunting."
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"Talk to my like I'm a 10-year-old..."
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"Here. Let's practice."
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"Pretend I'm Owen, and ask me something."
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"Do you think anyone would notice"
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"Say Coney Island, say Coney Island."
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"Yeah, see, Oleg said that he'd get himself checked out,"
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"Well, obviously I'm honored,"
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"I mean, you try sharing a waiting room"
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"Baaah!"
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"Buh-bye."
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"so the doctor can have better access."
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"Italian, sushi, whatever you're in the mood for.""
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"Miss Kuchenski, I'm Dr. Surden."
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"Baaah!"
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"I got the lock legs."
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"Make your move now, Doc!"
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"That tickles!"
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"I got to get out of here."
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"because there's something wrong with me?"
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"Do you think his thing will unfold?"
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"Hope you like white wine."
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"And "her" is leaving."
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"You look beautiful."
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"Do you, A... "."
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"- Max. - I know."
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"Oh, it's A."
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"I mean, what do you want to know?"
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"That's for being cute and for sharing that."
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"Wow."
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"I tell you everything."
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"Meet me at the first coleslaw tub."
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"Okay, okay. Tell me."
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"All right."
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"'cause he's the two."
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"Actually, I really like him,"
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"At least Owen's is right out there"
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"I crawled to Detroit."
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"to look past Owen's situation."
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"- She knows? - What?"
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"Um, no."
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"if Elvis had two penises and didn't die on his toilet."
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"Yeah, I was wondering if he wears briefs and boxers."
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"and she might have blown it."
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"You're part of the package."
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"Oh, God! No!"
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"I did what you said,"
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"and I let him get to know me."
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"Hold up! Nobody leave."
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"So new policy: before any employee leaves,"
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"I tried to start that policy years ago."
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"Seriously, Han?"
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"Is that really how you want to get"
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"to second base for the first time?"
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"Max, you're first."
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"Fine."
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"Feel me up, Low-bo-cop."
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"What's this?"
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"This, however, is bologna."
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"While we're coming clean,"
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"I stole your identity three years ago."
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"It's over now, but I was caught up"
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"Caroline, I'm coming to you next."
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"Caroline, literally slow your roll."
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"Well, if you're gonna hit bottom,"
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"Earl..."
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"Now, I know you are not"
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"about to accuse a black man of stealing..."
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"in this current political climate."
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"I was just going to wish you a wonderful evening."
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"Here, Max."
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"You can have my bologna."
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"And I just..."
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"I think I love you."
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"Oh, good."
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"You brought someone else with you to see that."
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"Owen, bedroom. Caroline, later."
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"Do I detect a Philadelphia accent?"
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"I haven't said anything yet."
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"Oh, actually, Max, it's, uh... it's kinda late."
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"But I had a good time. Good night."
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"I'll call you tomorrow. We'll do something."
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"Oh..."
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"my..."
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"He said he gotta be at work early."
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"Isn't that weird?"
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"That you're dating a guy with a job?"
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"Max, maybe you finally met a guy"
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"who wants to get to know you"
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"before he jumps into bed with you."
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"Maybe Owen's the one."
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"So what happens around here"
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"Well, when that's not happening,"
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"I stole one from the diner 'cause I thought"
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"you wouldn't be home and I'd be sad."
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"You hide that between your legs too?"
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