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Clips from BoJack Horseman - Brand New Couch (S02E02)

"And I am a horse. Do you get it? Do you get my joke about the track?""
BoJack Horseman
"- There's a whole page of this. - Should I write him, tell him I get it?"
BoJack Horseman
"We call that the PANTS approach."
BoJack Horseman
"P-A-N-T-S."
BoJack Horseman
"- BNA? - Brand-new attitude. Try to keep up."
BoJack Horseman
"- You are literally a metaphor. - Oh, my God."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, my God, this is the worst."
BoJack Horseman
"This feels awful."
BoJack Horseman
"You jogged here from Laurel Canyon?"
BoJack Horseman
"I drove, but I moved my arm a bunch, so the Fitbit counted the miles."
BoJack Horseman
"Ah. Well, I wrote down "late," so that's what it's gonna be."
BoJack Horseman
"You know, when I won that Golden Globe last month, I went to a very dark place."
BoJack Horseman
"And I realized, "I can wallow in this hole or I can change.""
BoJack Horseman
"- No, he's not taking the hint somehow. - Mm-hm."
BoJack Horseman
"No, not that one."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't know. I gotta go. BoJack's gonna be here any minute."
BoJack Horseman
"I can't see anything in this stupid thing."
BoJack Horseman
"Hashtag "great day to start fresh at a new job, sincerely, BoJack.""
BoJack Horseman
"Diane, look at us. A couple life-lovers over here."
BoJack Horseman
"- Uh... - Is that a new cone? Looking sharp, PB."
BoJack Horseman
"Didn't notice. You've got the smile of a winner."
BoJack Horseman
"- What's going on? - I have to wear the cone"
BoJack Horseman
""'Kend" is how I say weekend now."
BoJack Horseman
"The house is a metaphor for a home."
BoJack Horseman
"Happiness is a metaphor--"
BoJack Horseman
"- Where are we going? - Oh, my God."
BoJack Horseman
"- Hey, man. - Corduroy Jackson-Jackson."
BoJack Horseman
"Also, you know, I'm a huge fan. I'm so excited/amped/pumped"
BoJack Horseman
"- Hi. Kelsey Jannings? - That depends."
BoJack Horseman
"- Oh. Sorry. - Hey, who's this guy?"
BoJack Horseman
"- Who let this guy in? - I just--"
BoJack Horseman
"He's got a soothing face and I like looking at it."
BoJack Horseman
"Secretariat has always been a personal hero of mine."
BoJack Horseman
"A complex role that requires a precise touch and a deft hand"
BoJack Horseman
"It's truly an honor."
BoJack Horseman
"Namaste."
BoJack Horseman
"Neat. So, in this scene, Secretariat's at his lowest."
BoJack Horseman
"What are you doing here?"
BoJack Horseman
"- Hello? - Diane!"
BoJack Horseman
"I'm incredibly disappointed. Boo!"
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, sure. Yeah, sad. Of course. Duh."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, Secretariat."
BoJack Horseman
"What are you doing here?"
BoJack Horseman
"- I'll say when to keep rolling. - Okay."
BoJack Horseman
"- No. - Okay, I'm sad."
BoJack Horseman
"My beautiful face."
BoJack Horseman
"- That's not-- - You're a clown, you know that?"
BoJack Horseman
"You've always been a pillar of support."
BoJack Horseman
"You know, the man sitting next to me was wearing a T-shirt?"
BoJack Horseman
"A T-shirt, BoJack, in the theater."
BoJack Horseman
"Yes, a T-shirt."
BoJack Horseman
"Worst thing that's happened to anyone in a theater."
BoJack Horseman
"You can be big and proud and bang on your tom-tom drum"
BoJack Horseman
"Wow. Uh..."
BoJack Horseman
"- No. - I gotta say,"
BoJack Horseman
"- I heard you're blowing it. - What? Who told you that? Was it Todd?"
BoJack Horseman
"singing songs in German about their boners."
BoJack Horseman
"but I am inches from getting Emily VanCamp"
BoJack Horseman
"the lead in Goose Van Sant's new movie about Jackie O."
BoJack Horseman
"in regards to you being an agent and being good at it, crushing it."
BoJack Horseman
"Uh..."
BoJack Horseman
"BJ, I don't know. Look-- You know what you're good at?"
BoJack Horseman
"Hitting your mark, saying your lines, loudly with good diction."
BoJack Horseman
"Maybe someday later, you'll need to learn how to act for real."
BoJack Horseman
"All this time, I assumed there was more to me than everyone thought"
BoJack Horseman
"Well, you got the part, didn't you? What did you do in the audition?"
BoJack Horseman
"Now I've got a brand-new attitude."
BoJack Horseman
"Start a new life there? Meet a local girl? Fall in love?"
BoJack Horseman
"What am I talking about? I can't run a textile plant."
BoJack Horseman
"Too much responsibility. What am I gonna do? The walls are closing in!"
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah. Two days. I can do all those things."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, shit. I didn't do any of those things."
BoJack Horseman
"BoJack, before we get started"
BoJack Horseman
"This is the machine that's gonna make you a good actor."
BoJack Horseman
"you make a digital replica so you're not screwed if he goes all Belushi on you."
BoJack Horseman
"Sit for five seconds while a machine scans his face."
BoJack Horseman
"we'll just fire you and get someone else who can. Either way, I'll be fine."
BoJack Horseman
"- Think you made a mistake, hiring me? - I don't make mistakes, BoJack."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm trying to have this new attitude, be this better, more positive guy."
BoJack Horseman
"I don't care if you are happy or not."
BoJack Horseman
"- You're adorable. - Aw."
BoJack Horseman
"- Hey, Diane, you're a writer, aren't you? - Yes."
BoJack Horseman
"You were telling people, but it's a really important job"
BoJack Horseman
"- What are you doing here? - So, I went a little overboard"
BoJack Horseman
"Listen to it and imagine the band never took that hiatus"
BoJack Horseman
"I don't wanna hang out. Get out of here."
BoJack Horseman
"All right. You don't wanna listen to Bosstones together."
BoJack Horseman
"I see. Way to go, Mr. Peanutbutter. What a stupid move. Why did you--?"
BoJack Horseman
"What are you gonna do? Just sleep in BoJack's car forever?"
BoJack Horseman
"Happy ending for Todd!"
BoJack Horseman
"Charley Witherspoon, 28th floor agent."
BoJack Horseman
"- I know you're there, Charley. - Leave a message."
BoJack Horseman
"Loved Tristan, loved Isolde, cried like a bunny."
BoJack Horseman
"But, honestly, how fantaj would my Rooney be"
BoJack Horseman
"as a young Jackie Bouv?"
BoJack Horseman
"Stomp once for so fantaj, twice for stupid-fantaj."
BoJack Horseman
"Only you hold the keys to the house that is you."
BoJack Horseman
"When you get your new attitude,"
BoJack Horseman
"I know you wanna be happy, but you won't be, and--"
BoJack Horseman
"Your father and I, we--"
BoJack Horseman
"your books and your movies and your little girlfriends"
BoJack Horseman
"This is from BoJack H. BoJack is nine years old."
BoJack Horseman
""When I grow up, I want to be like you. I'm on the right track."
BoJack Horseman
"He goes on. "My question for you is:"
BoJack Horseman
"and I like to go to school, but sometimes I get sad."
BoJack Horseman
"What do you do when you get sad? How do you not be sad?""
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, big stud, running off to gallivant with your fillies."
BoJack Horseman
"Is that to impress me? I can smash a dinner plate, too."
BoJack Horseman
"That's a salad plate."
BoJack Horseman
"- Those are saucers. - Why do we even have saucers?"
BoJack Horseman
"We don't drink tea."
BoJack Horseman
"Those saucers are for entertaining!"
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, yeah? Well, I'm exit-taining."
BoJack Horseman
"Do you get it?"
BoJack Horseman
"But, uh, seriously, folks. Right?"
BoJack Horseman
"Don't sit so close to the TV, it'll make you cruel."
BoJack Horseman
"You know, I was beautiful"
BoJack Horseman
"- before I got pregnant. - I know."
BoJack Horseman
"You better grow up to be something great to make up for all the damage you've done."
BoJack Horseman
"I will."
BoJack Horseman
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