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Clips from NewsRadio - Complaint Box (S03E03)

"Uh, when one employee lodges a complaint--"
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"I'm serious. Shut up."
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"Sir, this isn't easy for me."
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"Yeah, well, I think I see an alligator"
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"Listen, sir, maybe-- Maybe you should try to, uh--"
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"Okay, so you just talk into this."
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"does all the rest."
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"Good, good."
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"Well, what are your demands?"
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"I think that's college humor, sir."
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"Oh. I didn't go to college."
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"Right on, my brother."
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"[GIGGLES]"
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"Time for my annual vacation."
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"Just a little... fishing."
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"You know, me and the great outdoors."
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"Oh, sounds very relaxing."
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"Oh, I hope not. I hate relaxing."
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"I see. So you catch the fish,"
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"then keep them alive using hospital equipment?"
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"two-way satellite voice hook-up."
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"I call it the Garrelli 1000."
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"That's right. Keeps me in constant contact"
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"with, uh, you good folks here at the office."
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"Just-- Just wait here while I test it out, all right?"
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"[CLEARS THROAT]"
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"This thing work?"
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"Yeah. Watch."
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"JIMMY: Ahem. Breaker, breaker, Dave's office."
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"Read you loud and clear, break room. Over."
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"Ah, break room, copy's having a big 10-4, good buddy."
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"Well, looks like we got ourselves a convoy."
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"Hey, have you guys seen that headset thing Jimmy's wearing?"
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"I guess if you're rich"
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"you can afford to look like a bonehead."
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"[AS MATTHEW] It's me, Matthew."
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"Okay, Matthew, wait right there."
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"Okey-dokey."
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"Come here. Look."
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"Oh."
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"Yeah?"
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"[CLEARS THROAT]"
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"What? Oh. Hi, Mr.--"
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"Oh, wow! Neat headset."
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"Hey, you wanna help me test if out?"
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"Stand here, and we'll test it out, all right?"
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"Oh, sure. All right."
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"Hear me?"
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"I can hear you, can you hear me?"
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"Uh, no, I can't hear you too good."
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"Could you step back a little bit?"
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"No, uh, a little more."
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"Coming in. A little more."
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"[♪]"
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""or any of its subsidiaries, may discriminate against,"
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""or harass any other employee on the basis of race, creed,"
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"religion, gender, age or sexual orientation...""
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"Query. [ALL GROAN]"
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"Recognized."
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"What exactly does "creed" mean?"
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"LISA: An accepted system"
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"And what exactly is crazy about that?"
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"I'm gonna travel, who knows how many thousands of miles--"
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"34.6 million miles to Earth, and then land"
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"in the middle of a huge desert."
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"Makes sense to me."
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"It wasn't always a desert. Think about it."
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""may be lodged anonymously in a clearly marked box."
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"Joe, put up a complaint box."
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"Wait, I'm not done reading this. Mm."
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"It was witnessed and notarized by an official notary public."
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"have managed to stay friends, huh?"
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"Well, it's just business. What can you do?"
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"Yeah."
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"Okay, just remember not to crowd the microphone, all right?"
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"I've used one of these before."
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"Okay, but not like this."
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"Incredibly sensitive."
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"So try not to make any extraneous noises."
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"I understand. Now can we roll?"
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"Sure."
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."
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"I'm picking up some background noise here."
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"I don't hear anything."
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"Yeah, it's like a clicking."
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"You know what? Take off your bracelets."
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"And... And your blouse too."
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"JIMMY [OVER SYSTEM]: Hi, Dave."
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"Well, I have arrived at the lake."
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"I was just testing out the old satellite hookup."
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"Well, it seems to be working fine."
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"So, what did I miss so far?"
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"discussing the employee conduct guidelines."
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"Well, now, look, that wasn't wasted time, Dave."
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"Those guidelines are very important."
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"Because I am tired of getting my ass sued every time"
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"some damn employee pinches some other damn employee's ass."
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"Now, you follow those things to the letter, you hear me?"
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"Will do. [KNOCKING SOUND]"
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"Would you keep this vile temper of yours under control?"
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"Oh? Well, well, what are we waiting for?"
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"Let's go investigate."
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"All right."
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"Help. No, hey, hey. Dave. Dave!"
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"Dave, I said let's go investigate."
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"All right."
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"Ah. Dave Nelson and his robot buddy,"
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"fighting crime."
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"Uh..."
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"There you go, dude."
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"What, uh-- What is it?"
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"Uh, it's a formal complaint box."
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"Ah. What does it look like?"
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"Know how you told me not to put a bell on it?"
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"I put a buzzer."
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"[BUZZES]"
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"Great. Thanks."
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"Hey, Dave, is Beth around?"
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"Uh-huh. [MOUTHS SILENTLY]"
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"did you kill any fish yet, Mr. James?"
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