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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - How to Be an American (S03E03)

"Mrs. Huang, I need to ask you a few more questions"
Fresh Off the Boat
"And now she gets to stay here forever."
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"reached out its food-poisoned tentacles"
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"It was love at first sight."
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"I know you've said no five times already,"
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"Yes. I will marry you."
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"Because I wanted so many kids."
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"Another one?"
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"How many days off a year do these fat-cat teachers get?"
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"Can you keep an eye on the boys?"
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"Just pretend like you don't understand Mandarin"
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"We're just guessing."
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"You guys need to learn how to dream."
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"How about after math,"
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"we reward ourselves with a little cheese string par-tay?"
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"But none of us even know how to drive."
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"Evan, you know I'm an amazing driver."
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"You can use your AAA card for discounts on the road."
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"some of the information we have on file."
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"Okay, it says here your first entry into the U.S."
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"- Second question. - Business?"
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"Ha! As if."
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"and one of my professo"
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"It was my first day,"
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"Yeah, I get it."
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"That's why I started wearing contact lenses."
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"And you just stir it right in."
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"I quit right then and there."
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"Hold onto your butts, fellas."
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"and instead of stopping for lunch,"
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"It's a blessing in disguise."
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"on a lowly Specialty Occupation Visa"
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"up until the day we met?"
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"Men. Changing the narrative."
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"What are we gonna do?"
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"Mom and Dad are gonna murder us."
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"It just happened to coincide"
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"why would I have proposed to you so many times?"
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"to apply in person."
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"♪ Run in the shadows ♪"
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"I'm sorry. That's not my problem."
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"98.3, Smooth Jazz."
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"Hold that stamp!"
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"Okay."
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"Fellas, I think we did it."
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"I'm only human, man."
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"Driftwood."
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"Can we please move on?"
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"It was the night we met."
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"Right. Well, it's, um, 555-0193."
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"Great. Thanks."
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"Do you have a pen? I need a pen."
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"You wrote my number on a restaurant canoe so you wouldn't forget it?"
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"You loved me at first sight!"
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"All these years, you were acting like you weren't a romantic,"
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"from the first moment we met,"
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"I wasn't gonna do that."
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"Swear that you will never tell the boys my secret."
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"I hereby declare on oath"
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"against all enemies foreign and domestic."
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"- We've been here all day. - I've answered all of your questions."
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"Can I please just have my citizenship?"
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"I'm sorry it's taking so much time, ma'am."
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"Everything seems to be in order."
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"regarding your criminal record."
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"- Right now? - Mm-hmm."
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"Can it wait?"
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"Well, what did Sandy order for lunch?"
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"All right, I'll just have what Sandy's having."
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"No, you know what?"
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"I'll take a rack of ribs."
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"S03E09 How-to-Be-An-American"
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"- They're both blue. - I made my choice."
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"I just want to look perfect for your citizenship interview."
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"This is a big moment for you."
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"You're like an immigrant caterpillar,"
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"and now you'll be an American butterfly."
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"Why must every single moment of our lives be so sentimental?"
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"Getting my citizenship, moving to Orlando, Eddie's first word."
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"Which was "thug life," by the way."
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"I'm gonna need you to confirm that if anyone from school asks."
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"I still don't understand"
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"how Mom is not a citizen if I'm a citizen."
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"And I'm a citizen because"
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"I applied for the green card lottery and then I naturalized."
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"And after that, I sponsored Grandma,"
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"who also then naturalized to become a citizen."
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"_"
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"But your mom is a permanent resident with a green card."
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"Remember when we got your green card?"
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"How they took us into separate gray rooms"
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"and grilled us about how we met."
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"Tell us the story of how you guys met again."
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"It's my favorite love story, after "My Girl," of course."
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"Emery, please, don't get him started."
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"It was a crisp autumn day."
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"until the rotten octopus of fate"
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"For you, maybe."
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"I was busy being sick from the waist down."
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"After an explosive start and a lengthy courtship,"
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"she finally accepted my proposal."
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"but I'm gonna keep asking."
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"Will you marry me?"
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"It was magical."
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"The ring was pinching my finger."
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"We took the world by storm."
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"We bought a mini van."
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"So what made you decide to have me?"
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"- White wine. - And now here we are."
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"Why do you have to romanticize everything?"
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"You proposed several times, I said no,"
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"you wore me down, I said yes."
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"True love is worth fighting for."
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"Déjà vu."
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"Just don't tell these stories in the interview."
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"I want it to go quick."
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"The immigration office is on the bad side of town,"
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"so I want to hit the 99-cent store"
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"and then fill up the Accord with the cheap, cheap gas."
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"Why aren't you dressed for school?"
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