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Clips from Da Ali G Show - Neil Hamilton (S01E01)

"'Eagle, you're looking great. Coming up nine minutes.'"
Da Ali G Show
"Booyakasha! America has h'invented"
Da Ali G Show
"So the purpose of this show is to h'educate, to motivate"
Da Ali G Show
"in which the officers will respond to some incidents."
Da Ali G Show
"you'll push this side button and say, "2310.""
Da Ali G Show
"No, it's not... We're handling a situation."
Da Ali G Show
"the main man, 2310, with my man, Brinkman."
Da Ali G Show
"- What's missing? - You his partner?"
Da Ali G Show
"(Ali) You might be lying. How do we know there was a telly?"
Da Ali G Show
"If you have any more questions, just give me a call."
Da Ali G Show
"(Laughs) No, don't put that out the window."
Da Ali G Show
"Yo, what's the matter with you?"
Da Ali G Show
"Some guys jumped us, they beat us up."
Da Ali G Show
"- Spanish. - (Ali) One Spanish."
Da Ali G Show
"But they say you can be a honky but still be hung like a donkey."
Da Ali G Show
"They is callin' our name on the thing."
Da Ali G Show
"- We can't just go up and start shootin'. - For real."
Da Ali G Show
"- Keep your distance! - Stop it, motherfucker!"
Da Ali G Show
"- Wicked. - OK, there he goes."
Da Ali G Show
"(Brinkman) OK, now put that down."
Da Ali G Show
"We don't talk like that here."
Da Ali G Show
"Oi, did I ask for to have a chat with you?"
Da Ali G Show
"A crowd's starting to form, let's get out of here."
Da Ali G Show
"- What's that for? - I don't wanna touch."
Da Ali G Show
"- It's my money, man. - Put the gun away!"
Da Ali G Show
"- Come on. - All right."
Da Ali G Show
"- That's what we do! - That is disgusting!"
Da Ali G Show
"- Could I make a good cop? - Er, probably not."
Da Ali G Show
"In the US and A, if you want to marry a girl,"
Da Ali G Show
"Hello, Jenny, nice to... to meet you."
Da Ali G Show
"I will love her. We will be as one."
Da Ali G Show
"Why don't you give me a little bit on... on personality traits you're looking for?"
Da Ali G Show
"If possible, she must have plough experience."
Da Ali G Show
"And she must have a good physique."
Da Ali G Show
"OK, attractive."
Da Ali G Show
"I like shoot dog."
Da Ali G Show
"- I like... - Snoop Dogg?"
Da Ali G Show
"Should I tell people that I am good at sex?"
Da Ali G Show
"- You don't want to say that... - I'm more good than many men."
Da Ali G Show
"Women in America feel that any act of sex, be it oral, erm..."
Da Ali G Show
"We think that's cheating."
Da Ali G Show
"they bring too many gifts."
Da Ali G Show
"Well, I can't say. Everybody's different."
Da Ali G Show
"- You have to practise it first. - Yes."
Da Ali G Show
"- Yes. - Well, it's a funny image."
Da Ali G Show
"Did you like some things about your wife?"
Da Ali G Show
"No."
Da Ali G Show
"- OK. Your previous wife? - Yes."
Da Ali G Show
"I'm sorry."
Da Ali G Show
"talk about what she does for a living and about her."
Da Ali G Show
"hr‡ng, my sac, is heavy."
Da Ali G Show
"How old is your child?"
Da Ali G Show
"- Yes, but... - Cheat and take money from you?"
Da Ali G Show
"that's why you need to date her before you get married."
Da Ali G Show
"a television, remote control."
Da Ali G Show
"Well, that's not gonna happen."
Da Ali G Show
"I wish you success in the future"
Da Ali G Show
"You're very welcome."
Da Ali G Show
"Booyakasha. Check it out."
Da Ali G Show
"I know this is a sensitive question"
Da Ali G Show
"was the people who lived there friendly or was they scared of you?"
Da Ali G Show
"of encountering any living being whatsoever."
Da Ali G Show
"No. The sun is too hot, it is not a good place to go to."
Da Ali G Show
"The sun is not cold in the winter."
Da Ali G Show
"# Hear dis"
Da Ali G Show
"I don't think there are very many people who question whether the moon exists."
Da Ali G Show
"You has heard it here. It does exist."
Da Ali G Show
"That's right. The moon does exist."
Da Ali G Show
"and apparently it weren't true."
Da Ali G Show
"You should check them out, it's amazing."
Da Ali G Show
"and you can use the moon or Mars or Venus"
Da Ali G Show
"I's got a joke about space, do you wanna hear it?"
Da Ali G Show
"There is a monster from outer space"
Da Ali G Show
"to book like a hotel on the moon"
Da Ali G Show
"That is so... wicked!"
Da Ali G Show
"That's wicked."
Da Ali G Show
"- Yeah. I know. - He's been eating stuff"
Da Ali G Show
"because they mix the real with the absurd."
Da Ali G Show
"you has 'eard about the moon and about space."
Da Ali G Show
"So you better realise that these things is important."
Da Ali G Show
"'Eagle, you're looking great. Coming up nine minutes.'"
Da Ali G Show
"OK, great, I am here with Paul Wilmot."
Da Ali G Show
"I was in charge of public relations for Calvin Klein..."
Da Ali G Show
"- Wow! ...worldwide."
Da Ali G Show
"If they are in, we go, "Vassup." You go, "Vassup.""
Da Ali G Show
"- "Ich don't think so"? - Yes, for 20 years."
Da Ali G Show
"Well, I mean... Celine Dion."
Da Ali G Show
"If you want to make sure the show is classy,"
Da Ali G Show
"you make sure you do not have which celebrities?"
Da Ali G Show
"we're doing a lot with these deaf children, which we're getting behind,"
Da Ali G Show
"You can give them a message?"
Da Ali G Show
"Just do something for them about safe sex, how to keep safe."
Da Ali G Show
"Cos I am Chrysler's muse in Austria. Seriously, I'm..."
Da Ali G Show
"Do you need another model, would you like...?"
Da Ali G Show
"C'est la muse de Chrysler."
Da Ali G Show
"- I'm here. You know who I am? - Mm-hm."
Da Ali G Show
"- I'm Bruno. Chrysler's muse. - Yes."
Da Ali G Show
"- The designer Chrysler? - Oui."
Da Ali G Show
"I have all the male models, they're here."
Da Ali G Show
"- Can I borrow yours? - Right now?"
Da Ali G Show
"- He needs them. - OK."
Da Ali G Show
"# Whooo"
Da Ali G Show
"# Kinda broke you see me"
Da Ali G Show
"# I come to school with the taylor on my earlobe"
Da Ali G Show
"# Avoidin' all the dick teasers, skeezers and weirdos"
Da Ali G Show
"define as crimes."
Da Ali G Show
"and then, as punishment,"
Da Ali G Show
"That would probably be governed by the rules of the institution."
Da Ali G Show
"it was a strict rule that if you didn't do your 'omework"
Da Ali G Show
"Well, that's a law of sorts."
Da Ali G Show
"- Yo, it's a well good law. - Yes."
Da Ali G Show
"some of the bestest things in the world -"
Da Ali G Show
"McDonald's, gangsta rap, spaghetti and swimming."
Da Ali G Show
"I like swimming."
Da Ali G Show
"But your country's got problems too."
Da Ali G Show
"There's been nuff sadness since the terrible events of 7/11."
Da Ali G Show
"(War cry) Them ones."
Da Ali G Show
"How come you never see them in prominent jobs?"
Da Ali G Show
"Apart from that bloke in the Village People,"
Da Ali G Show
"and to... (Mumbles)... ate."
Da Ali G Show
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