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Clips from Eastbound & Down - Chapter 3 (S01E01)

"You messing around with black-market shit now?"
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"Strike three! You're out!"
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"Now, Cassie."
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"- Don't go with him. - It's okay, it's okay."
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"Ask anybody out there..."
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"Hell, it might even be enough to get you into the majors."
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"Get up!"
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"There's an emergency. I need to see you in the computer room now."
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"You were driving. I was in the passenger seat."
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"Or just stay good at what you're doing, which is, I guess, being poor."
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"Well, I can think of two people in this household who'd certainly love it."
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"- I've never done this eBay shit. - I know."
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"I fucking do."
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"He wants in the big game, and so do I. He's my competition."
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"Sell weed to make more money."
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"Maybe this is what God wants."
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"I don't know. Sounds a little fishy."
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"- What all you got up there so far? - Well, just a few things."
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"No, Dustin, the zero key didn't get stuck."
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"- I won't. - I know why you won't."
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"You know what I wish?"
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"Look: Opens up, you take shits through the middle."
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"Did you fall and bump your head?"
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"...drop monies into, make contributions."
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"Kenny, let's be honest here, okay?"
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"- Do you need anything? - No, thanks, sweetie."
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"- I don't know anybody that sells steroids. - That black dude that had all that Cialis?"
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"I mean, maybe this is fate. You know?"
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"...be staying here with you guys, and then you know how to do eBay good?"
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"I hate to break this to you, you arrogant piece of shit."
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"I want my monies. Show me them monies."
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"You need a blessing from God almighty."
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"I'd get maybe one of them Kenny Powers condoms..."
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"Why doesn't anybody want this shit?"
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"Maybe even open up a credit card in their names and my names."
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"No, not black-market shit, just regular-market shit."
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"Okay, well, here's the thing."
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"...and just, like, learn from you and aid you."
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"That's not true. I don't give a fuck what you say."
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"Basically give shit away. ...so people can just go for the... For..."
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"Class, do we want the principal of the school..."
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"Hey, April, I'm gonna hit the stationary bike."
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"Jesus, Kenny. It's the middle of the damn night."
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"...in our secret meeting of learning?"
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"One thing each, boys. Wayne, one thing, not two."
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"If that's what you think. You're the expert."
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"Oh, fuck. I'm so drunk I feel retarded."
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"Put it up Dustin's butts."
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"Look at that. You see that? That's where my dick goes through."
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"I wish I could just hang around you all the time..."
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"The big leagues never would take you back."
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"I'm starting to see what's possible here."
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"...and just, like, do whatever you do..."
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"Get it for the price that was higher?"
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"You're too old, you're too fat and you're too damn stupid."
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"No. I can't drink spirits if I'm gonna be driving, Kenny."
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"Okay, you know what?"
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"You want a sip?"
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"That was incredible."
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"Holy shit!"
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