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Clips from South Park - The Tooth Fairy's Tats 2000 (S04E04)

"that negative and positive are the same thing,"
South Park
"that real and not real are one."
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"He's not gonna do it, boss!"
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"All right, kid, time to die!"
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"Aw, man, how deep is the Platte River?"
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"...to which Ms. Clinton replied, "I don't even like vagina.""
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"Finally tonight, a human interest story."
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"Dan Akawa is live."
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"Thanks, Tom, I'm here at the house of little Billy Circlevich."
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"Billy is in desperate need of a bone marrow transplant,"
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"or he will most certainly die."
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"Billy, how much more money do you need for the transplant?"
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"- Six hundred dollars. - Louder, Billy! We can't hear you!"
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"- Six hundred dollars. - Wow, that's a lot of money."
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"under your pillow tonight, because we have a feeling that the tooth fairy"
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"is going to leave you $600 for it."
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"- Really? - Really?"
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"Yes, really. Six-hundred dollars!"
South Park
"I might also mention that Billy lives in Crestview apartments,"
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"just off Arapahoe Road on Emporia Street."
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"Six hundred dollars, you guys!"
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"Be sure to put your loose tooth under your pillow, Billy."
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"some bogus tooth fairies should be showing up to take the sick kid's money."
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"When they touch the kid's pillow, an alarm will sound,"
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"- Everybody got it? - Got it."
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"Which button do I hit again, boss?"
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"Just kidding."
South Park
"in sting operations in the movies?"
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"I was just, you know... I was just acting like..."
South Park
"Hurry up, you guys!"
South Park
"We gotta get that sick kid's tooth fairy money before Loogie does."
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"I can't deal with it, Stan."
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"I mean, all this stuff I've been reading, I really don't think I exist."
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"- Dude, just stop thinking about it. - But I can't."
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"Because what if thinking about it is the only thing"
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"Sometimes I think I can see time slowing down"
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"and my own existence fading."
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"I'm going to bed now, Mommy. I put my tooth under the pillow."
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"I can't wait to feel healthy and strong again."
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"Yeah, well, you're gonna have to wait a little bit longer, Billy,"
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"Light is a wave unless it's observed. That means all matter is just a wave."
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"Kyle?"
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"Hey, something strange is happening with the computers."
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"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"
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"- I got it! - The tooth fairy!"
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"Let's move out."
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"- Oh, crap! - Give it up, kids!"
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"You're surrounded by dentists."
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"And now it's all exposed. You're through."
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"This is reality!"
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"I am everywhere and nowhere."
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"I told you!"
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"Let's get out of here!"
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"Jesus! The little sick kid was a setup all along!"
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"- How could I be so stupid? - What?"
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"I can't believe I fell for such an obvious trap!"
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"What the hell's wrong with me?"
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"Well, don't take it too hard, dude."
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"That's what grown-ups do. They lie. Lie right to your face."
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"Oh, well, maybe it's good my empire has fallen."
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"- Really? - Yeah,"
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"You see, the basis of all reasoning is the mind's awareness of itself."
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"are all like actors that come on and off stage."
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"Tits."
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"I'm going down to South Park Gonna leave my woes behind"
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"She's only given me a lousy quarter before!"
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"Mom, you don't know what the tooth fairy wants me to do"
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"I'm rich! I'm totally rich! Aren't you stoked?"
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"Well, that doesn't matter, because I have an idea that is totally tits."
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"but if we all chip in with teeth,"
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"then I could hide them under my pillow and we could get enough money"
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"When I say go, you slam your electric wheelchair into high gear."
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"Dude, maybe we don't have to rip a tooth out of Kenny's mouth."
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"You guys! I can see Kenny's little ping-a-ling!"
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"- Well? - Bull's-eye!"
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"You guys! Oh, my God, you guys!"
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"Dentist's office."
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"I suppose you're gonna tell me"
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"You're serious? There really is no tooth fairy?"
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"My parents wouldn't lie to me."
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"If my dad says something is real, then it's real!"
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"Yeah, but it's okay!"
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"All made up. Not real. Nothing's real."
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"- Two years? - Nice tooth fairy costume!"
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"Look, any shmuck can sneak through a window wearing a pretty dress."
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"so that we don't hit the same one twice in less than two months."
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"going back to the first house."
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"I'll cut you in at 2%."
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"Two percent, have my penis cut off. Two percent..."
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"of missing teeth from all over the country."
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"that steals either teeth or money from children as they sleep,"
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"in order to build some kind of giant nest,"
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"So you've brought me 400 pounds of teeth from China?"
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"These are cat teeth, you son of a bitch!"
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"Oh, my God, this book says"
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"in the short amount of time you have left?"
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"- I don't know. - Well, Billy,"
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"- Yeah. - Billy, we want you to put that tooth"
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"Back to you, Tom."
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"Okay, Mom."
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"and that's when you hit the button, Murphy, and activate the lights."
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"keeping my space-time together?"
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"I think so, Billy, I think so."
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"'cause that 600 bucks is mine."
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"Kloxky, put this butt-wipe out of his misery."
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"The only thing left to do is haul all you kids down to prison."
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"What the hell?"
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"So, you're not gonna hurt us or nothing?"
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"Timmy!"
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"All we need is teeth."
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"Jesus Christ, why'd we pick the fat guy to lift up in there?"
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"I love that song, Mom. Sing it again."
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"- We can still get our Sega Dreamcast! - How?"
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"Did you bastards really think you could hide from me forever?"
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"Oh, hello, Dr. Roberts, it's Ms. Cartman."
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"- Dude, where's the money? - There is no money."
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"No? I see."
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"Oh..."
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"What's a tooth trade?"
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"- Is that true? - Yeah."
South Park
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