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Clips from Community - Pilot (S01E01)

"You have become something unstoppable."
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"I hereby pronounce you"
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"a community."
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"That's nice."
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"This isn't like Breakfast club. Now it's like Stripes or Meatballs."
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"- Anything with Bill Murray, really. - I agree tonight has been very special."
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"And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dinner engagement with Britta."
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"I lied."
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"Thanks for calming everyone down. But since you're not a Spanish tutor,"
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"just a lying creep who purposely upset everyone"
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"in an attempt to get with me, I'd appreciate it if you left"
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"Everybody ready?"
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"Fine."
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"that one of the benefits of being a lying creep"
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"is having all the answers to tomorrow's test."
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"And I'm happy to share them"
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"If you have all the answers, why did you start this study group?"
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"I don't have a study group. I made it up."
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"- The "look left" speech? - Made it up."
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"I make things up and I got paid a lot of money to do it"
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"before I came to this school-shaped toilet."
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"I was a lawyer."
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"I thought you were like Bill Murray, but you're more like Michael Douglas."
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"You have asperger's."
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""Ass burger"."
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"It's a serious disorder."
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"If it's so serious, why don't they call it meningitis?"
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"- "Ass burger". - Burger for your ass."
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"You may want to think about the gift you've been given."
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"An excuse to punch a hippy?"
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"No, not that. An important lesson, my friend."
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"See,"
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"the tools you acquired to survive will not help you here at Greendale."
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"What you have, my friend, is a second chance at an honest life."
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"Why are people trying to teach me things"
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"at a school that has an express tuition aisle?"
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"- Give me my keys. - I have to keep the car for the lesson."
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"Are we cool?"
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"We cool."
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"I like you, Jeffrey."
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"You remind me of myself at your age."
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"I deserve that."
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"I've been divorced"
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"seven times."
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"Sometimes I think I'm doing something wrong."
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"You keep getting married."
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"I never looked at it that way."
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"Shouldn't you guys be studying?"
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"Things got kind of boring after you left."
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"Let me ask you something."
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"People been clowning me about this jacket since I got here,"
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"but if I take it off to make them happy, that just makes me weak, right?"
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"Listen."
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"Either way, it's for them."
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"That's what's weak."
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"You wrinkled my brain, man."
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"- He's good, huh? - He's real good."
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"I don't have any of the answers."
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"I'm gonna flunk the test."
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"You just study for, like, an hour. It's not that hard."
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"You seem pretty smart. You got a sports coat."
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"Well, me."
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"Funny thing about being smart"
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"is that you can get through most of life without ever having to do any work."
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"What's going on? Can you guys hear me?"
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"That's good."
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"You know what?"
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"Actually, we didn't get that far without you,"
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"so if you wanna come back upstairs."
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"Really?"
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"- Come on, let's study. - Sounds good."
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"No pressure."
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"Well, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
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"- I thought you graduated from Columbia. - Now I have to get one from America."
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"that your only crime was loving America."
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"I would have to go... I would have to say..."
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"but I think that group may be untutorable."
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"and study first and then go to dinner."
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"Big mistake."
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"It doesn't matter."
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"You lose the jacket to please them. You keep it to piss them off."
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"How do we turn this off? Mom, you think you can help me?"
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"People can find the good"
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"There's a guy trying out for this team that is older than the game of poker."
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"If they really prove to be untutorable, we'll slip out early."
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"There's more. There's a middle card missing."
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"- I really need help with Spanish. - I was willing to bet. I'm Jeff..."
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"Know what I got for Christmas?"
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"And Abed."
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