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Clips from Community - Pilot (S01E01)

"that fell apart because of unresolved tension."
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"Shouldn't we address Annie's concern? Did we not invite her?"
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"- Sweetie, it's not behind your back. - Can we stop with the sweeties?"
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"Being younger does not make me inferior."
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"If anything, your age indicates that you've made bad life decisions."
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"- Shirley has a response. - I don't."
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"I'm sure I've made some bad life decisions"
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"and maybe Annie's decisions will be better."
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"Adults, they get respect,"
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"but they also get their head grabbed and their face pushed through jukeboxes."
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"Why don't we try learning "jukebox" in Spanish?"
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"- What are you doing? - Pierce!"
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"- Let's discuss this creepiness. - Pardon you?"
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"Are you unaware that Shirley finds your advances inappropriate?"
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"What advances?"
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"You have been sexually harassing me since the very first day of class."
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"Sexually harassing?"
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"What? That makes no sense to me."
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"Why would I harass somebody who turns me on?"
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"Saying she turns you on is the harassment, dude."
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"I am a prominent business leader and a highly sought after dinner guest"
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"and I will not take courting advice from some teenage boy."
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"Well, this teenage boy is a quarterback and a prom king."
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"You're not prom king anymore, Troy. This isn't Riverside High."
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"How'd you know I went there?"
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"Because"
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"you're wearing your stupid letter jacket and more importantly,"
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"I sat behind you in algebra."
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"You're the one who got hooked on pills and dropped out."
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"- You're little Annie Adderall. - Yes, and you are a stupid jock"
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"who lost his scholarship by dislocating both shoulders in a keg stand."
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"Keg flip. They're very hard to pull off."
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"You don't know... I'm a legend."
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"It was a banner year at the bender family."
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"I got a carton of cigarettes."
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"The old man grabbed me, he said, "Hey, smoke up, Johnny!""
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""No, Dad! What about you?""
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"That actually was from the Breakfast club."
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"Nobody puts baby in the corner."
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"Dirty Dancing."
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"It's professor Duncan."
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"Come to the parking lot now."
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"What's wrong with your voice?"
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"I'm disguising it."
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"I'll be right back. But while I'm gone,"
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"you guys need to hash this stuff out."
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"No stone unturned."
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"Go!"
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"Get in the car!"
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"Act as if we've either just finished or yet to begin driving."
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"Every answer to every test in your curriculum this semester."
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"I knew you could do it, buddy. Thank you."
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"What do I get?"
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"Even, fairness, right, wrong."
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"- There is no God. Booyah, booyah. - What do you want?"
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"Your Lexus."
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"My car for a semester's worth of answers?"
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"Will it be just a semester though?"
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"Won't you be taking the easy way out for the next four years?"
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"I want payment in advance."
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"I want leather seats with built-in ball warmers."
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"You know, bluffs this weak are how your people lost the colonies."
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"Have a nice disbarment hearing."
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"- What am I supposed to drive? - Why don't you take this car?"
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"So is wiping your butt with a leaf, but it's not how a man gets around!"
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"It is a disaster in there."
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"Yeah, untutorable."
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"You like Thai food? I love it."
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"Wait, so this is a game to you?"
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"You put human beings"
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"into a state of emotional shambles for a shot at getting in my pants?"
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"Why can't you see that for the compliment that it is?"
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"But how was I supposed to know that you were smart and cool?"
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"- You look like Elisabeth Shue. - You're unbelievable."
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"- What do I do? - Maybe one decent thing"
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"could be to go in there and clean up your mess."
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"If I do that, then dinner, right?"
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"Whatever."
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"you are a shallow douchebag."
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"You're gonna eat those words when you see my new car."
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"You don't have to yell. I don't appreciate your tone."
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"You know what makes humans different from other animals?"
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"Feet."
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"Bears have feet."
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"We're the only species on Earth that observes shark week."
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"Sharks don't even observe shark week, but we do."
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"tell you it's name is Steve, and go like this."
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"And part of you dies"
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"a little bit on the inside,"
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"And we can give Ben Affleck an Academy Award for screenwriting."
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"in just about anything but themselves."
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"Look at me."
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"But what I can do is see what makes Annie awesome."
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"or the lights go out and the ice cream melts."
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"And Pierce. We need guys like Pierce."
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"This guy has wisdom to offer."
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"- The Dalai Lama and I... - We should listen to him sometime."
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"We wouldn't regret it. And Shirley."
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"Shirley has earned our respect,"
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"not as a wife, not as a mother, but as a woman."
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"Don't test her on that,"
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"because that thing about the jukebox was way too specific to be improvised."
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"Maybe he is."
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"You think astronauts go to the moon because they hate oxygen?"
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"They're trying to impress their high school's prom king."
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"Abed's a shaman."
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"You ask him to pass the salt, he gives you a bowl of soup,"
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"because you know what? Soup is better."
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"Abed is better."
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"You are all better than you think you are."
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"You are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself."
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"Look at the person on your left."
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"Sorry. Look at the person sitting next to you."
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"Look at her?"
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"I want you to extend to that person"
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"Say to that person,"
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""I forgive you"."
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"You little twerp."
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"He didn't say it?"
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"You've just stopped being a study group."
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