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Clips from Abbott Elementary - Light Bulb (S01E01)

"yeah, she was afraid to come to school this morning."
Abbott Elementary
"Said it looked like The Shining,"
Abbott Elementary
"and I don't even get how she knows that reference."
Abbott Elementary
"- She loves The Shining. - It's a classic movie."
Abbott Elementary
"This isn't okay, all right? And I already talked to Mr. Johnson,"
Abbott Elementary
"and he said there isn't anything he can do."
Abbott Elementary
"What do you want us to do about it?"
Abbott Elementary
"It can't be hard. It's just screwing in a few new bulbs."
Abbott Elementary
"Janine, just worry about what can be controlled."
Abbott Elementary
"Exactly. All we can do on a hot day like this"
Abbott Elementary
"is our own jobs, anyway."
Abbott Elementary
"I know that's right! Why is it February"
Abbott Elementary
"and hotter than the devil's booty-hole outside?"
Abbott Elementary
"Climate change."
Abbott Elementary
"We are living in the middle of its disastrous effects."
Abbott Elementary
"The permafrost in Russia --"
Abbott Elementary
"(coughs) Nerd. (coughs)"
Abbott Elementary
"(laughing)"
Abbott Elementary
"Ava, can someone from the city"
Abbott Elementary
"come and check on the back-hallway lights?"
Abbott Elementary
"Girl, no. Do I look like the Kool-Aid Man?"
Abbott Elementary
"I don't have enough juice to manipulate"
Abbott Elementary
"the inner workings of city hall."
Abbott Elementary
"(bell rings)"
Abbott Elementary
"They'll probably come in the summer."
Abbott Elementary
"- In the summer? - JACOB: Tough break."
Abbott Elementary
"Want some egg-white bites?"
Abbott Elementary
"No. I don't have time to eat."
Abbott Elementary
"They're just egg-white bites. You microwave them."
Abbott Elementary
"See, I just can't accept this."
Abbott Elementary
"You know, they didn't see those kids' faces."
Abbott Elementary
"It was like they walked into The Haunted Mansion at Disney,"
Abbott Elementary
"which is a very scary ride, by the way."
Abbott Elementary
"I don't care what people say."
Abbott Elementary
"Okay, so, we went over the days of the week. Now we --"
Abbott Elementary
"- (door opens) - All right, baby, sit down."
Abbott Elementary
"Um...it's 9:00."
Abbott Elementary
"Word."
Abbott Elementary
"Uh, school starts earlier than...that."
Abbott Elementary
"Look, I know you're just a sub,"
Abbott Elementary
"but these kids need to be in their seats by 8:00."
Abbott Elementary
"- It's a school requirement. - Understood."
Abbott Elementary
"Sixth time in two weeks that kid's been late."
Abbott Elementary
"Seems like a drop in a bucket, but then..."
Abbott Elementary
"that bucket overflows and everything gets sticky."
Abbott Elementary
"We don't want to get sticky, do we?"
Abbott Elementary
"Y'all are getting this, right?!"
Abbott Elementary
"(lights buzzing)"
Abbott Elementary
"(humming)"
Abbott Elementary
"(clears throat)"
Abbott Elementary
"Oh, um, hey, Mrs. Howard, can I get some advice?"
Abbott Elementary
"I was gonna ask Janine, but she seems busy."
Abbott Elementary
"- Oh, sure. Come on in. - Thanks."
Abbott Elementary
"- Okay. - Have a seat."
Abbott Elementary
"Mm-hmm."
Abbott Elementary
"Y-Yeah. Yeah."
Abbott Elementary
"So, one of my students has been coming in late --"
Abbott Elementary
"9:00, to be exact -- for the last week or so."
Abbott Elementary
"Did you talk to the parent?"
Abbott Elementary
"No. No. I'm a sub. I don't want to be"
Abbott Elementary
"mixing it up with parents. It's unnecessary."
Abbott Elementary
"Sweetheart, this isn't happy hour."
Abbott Elementary
"You are the child's teacher."
Abbott Elementary
"- Which child is it? - Uh, Williams."
Abbott Elementary
"Um, Joel Williams."
Abbott Elementary
"- Okay. I know that family. - (bell rings)"
Abbott Elementary
"Oh, listen, I've got to go pick my kids up from the gym,"
Abbott Elementary
"so why don't you meet me during my free time,"
Abbott Elementary
"which is my nail appointment during lunch."
Abbott Elementary
"Um, I was gonna eat in my car. I brought a sandwich from home."
Abbott Elementary
"Okay. Then bring your little Nissan sandwich with you."
Abbott Elementary
"JANINE: The more senior teachers are just used to giving in,"
Abbott Elementary
"but I, however, am young, sprightly,"
Abbott Elementary
"and know where they keep the ladder."
Abbott Elementary
"Forgot I was afraid of ladders."
Abbott Elementary
"(ladder creaking)"
Abbott Elementary
"(lights buzzing)"
Abbott Elementary
"(panel clatters)"
Abbott Elementary
"(stomach gurgles)"
Abbott Elementary
"(chuckles) That was just my stomach."
Abbott Elementary
"Okay."
Abbott Elementary
"Oh. Oh, look at this."
Abbott Elementary
"It was just a loose wire."
Abbott Elementary
"(buzzing)"
Abbott Elementary
"(buzzing intensifies)"
Abbott Elementary
"- (zapping) - Ooh!"
Abbott Elementary
"(gasps)"
Abbott Elementary
"Oh, God. Can someone please help me down?"
Abbott Elementary
"And why would we do that,"
Abbott Elementary
"since you clearly caused this situation?"
Abbott Elementary
"Okay. I didn't know doing this"
Abbott Elementary
"would cause all the power to go out."
Abbott Elementary
"Well, the power is not all out."
Abbott Elementary
"It's on in some places and off in others."
Abbott Elementary
"- It's off in my room. - On in the gym."
Abbott Elementary
"Yeah, it's off in my room."
Abbott Elementary
"- Thank God we got the A/ - C, or we'd all be meltin' already."
Abbott Elementary
"Okay, best thing to do in these situations"
Abbott Elementary
"is just stay calm and --"
Abbott Elementary
"Okay! This is it, y'all! The end times!"
Abbott Elementary
"It's three months early, but it's happening!"
Abbott Elementary
"Aah! Don't shake the ladder!"
Abbott Elementary
"Gregory is the only person"
Abbott Elementary
"that can stay in my bunker, so stop asking."
Abbott Elementary
"Hell yeah, I'm a doomsday prepper."
Abbott Elementary
"(scoffs) Why wouldn't I be?"
Abbott Elementary
"I don't know why more people aren't."
Abbott Elementary
"Have you seen Train to Busan? With the fast-ass zombies?"
Abbott Elementary
"(scoffs) That day is coming. That day soon come."
Abbott Elementary
"Ava, it is just a partial power outage."
Abbott Elementary
"All right. Listen up, everybody --"
Abbott Elementary
"- Listen to Barbara, y'all! - Are you kidding me?"
Abbott Elementary
"This is what we're gonna do --"
Abbott Elementary
"everybody without power, please, head to the gym."
Abbott Elementary
"- Head. - We will conduct classes there"
Abbott Elementary
"until this is all fixed."
Abbott Elementary
"It is not ideal, but it will work."
Abbott Elementary
"You heard her. Let's go."
Abbott Elementary
"Guys -- Guys, I-I just want to say, I-I'm sorry, everybody."
Abbott Elementary
"I just thought if I could get up here and get this done,"
Abbott Elementary
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