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Clips from Axe Cop - Super Axe (S01E01)

"I have a rigorous exercise routine."
Axe Cop
"A billion and six, billion and seven, billion and eight..."
Axe Cop
"the first thing I do is print out a list of bad guys to kill"
Axe Cop
"I go on a night mission."
Axe Cop
"- I don't work the day shift or the night shift. - Ha!"
Axe Cop
"Because I'm a hero."
Axe Cop
"Axe Cop 01x08 - Super Axe"
Axe Cop
"No. I was on a night mission."
Axe Cop
"Oh yeah? They don't-they don't sound too bad. What'd they do?"
Axe Cop
"Have fun, Axe Cop."
Axe Cop
"Front desk. How can I assist you?"
Axe Cop
"You have got to be kidding me!"
Axe Cop
"- Axe Cop, is that you? - Super Axe?"
Axe Cop
"All-night battles, chop-a-thons."
Axe Cop
""A kick is a punch from a foot!""
Axe Cop
"Man!"
Axe Cop
"But, you should be out killing bad guys."
Axe Cop
"- You're a hero. - Not anymore I'm not."
Axe Cop
"You're the evil red-headed woman."
Axe Cop
"- Now I'm not. - Oh that's a shame,"
Axe Cop
"I spent Bational Axe Cop Day stealing back my bad guy machine!"
Axe Cop
"any unbreakable vault."
Axe Cop
"Fine. You guys stay here."
Axe Cop
"Pull up a chair and join us."
Axe Cop
"No time. Super axe and I are going back in time"
Axe Cop
"This is weird,"
Axe Cop
"the beginning of time should be teeming"
Axe Cop
"I'm not a hero anymore."
Axe Cop
"Always carry a spare axe."
Axe Cop
"Psst, Axe Cop. Over here!"
Axe Cop
"The only reason I survived this long"
Axe Cop
"is because I buried myself"
Axe Cop
"Axe Cop!"
Axe Cop
"through the bad guy machine,"
Axe Cop
"everyone throughout time will be turned evil"
Axe Cop
"You're too late, Axe Cop."
Axe Cop
"- She's riding a gorilla riding a lion."
Axe Cop
"from fighting college?"
Axe Cop
"that her husband still has a little hero left in him."
Axe Cop
"Oh no."
Axe Cop
"Have you ever killed an alien?"
Axe Cop
"Super Axe, what's going on?"
Axe Cop
"right before the pork was coming out"
Axe Cop
"He said something about"
Axe Cop
"- Not me. - Boom."
Axe Cop
"I work the always shift."
Axe Cop
"- Hah! - Because I'm a hero."
Axe Cop
"Some people have families."
Axe Cop
"Not me."
Axe Cop
"- Yah! - Some people even have friends."
Axe Cop
"- Take that! - Yeah!"
Axe Cop
"- Hyah! - My name is Axe Cop."
Axe Cop
"And everyone else isn't."
Axe Cop
"I live in a house with two invisible doors,"
Axe Cop
"I only wear underwear that has a picture of me"
Axe Cop
"chopping off a bad guy's head."
Axe Cop
"When I turn, the picture of me moves"
Axe Cop
"and chops off his head."
Axe Cop
"In the morning, I usually find a broken window"
Axe Cop
"When I arrive at the Axe Cop station"
Axe Cop
"and then I kill them all."
Axe Cop
"At night, after everyone goes home..."
Axe Cop
"- Good night, Axe Cop. - to be with their families,"
Axe Cop
"I work the always shift."
Axe Cop
"Ha!"
Axe Cop
"One day, at the scene of the fire"
Axe Cop
"That was the day he became... Axe Cop!"
Axe Cop
"I will chop your heads off!"
Axe Cop
"Axe, it's 8:35."
Axe Cop
"Yeah, you're usually here by 8:30."
Axe Cop
"What, are you working banking hours now?"
Axe Cop
"So what bad guy did you kill last night?"
Axe Cop
"Actually I killed two bad guys."
Axe Cop
"They were 7th graders. Unfortunately their mom..."
Axe Cop
"the evil red-headed woman... got away."
Axe Cop
"They stole the president's good guy machine"
Axe Cop
"and turned it into a bad guy machine."
Axe Cop
"Oh! That actually sounds pretty bad."
Axe Cop
"Sockarang, lock the bad guy machine in the unbreakable vault."
Axe Cop
"Yellow, Flute Cop here."
Axe Cop
"What do you want?"
Axe Cop
"- Okay. - What did the president say?"
Axe Cop
"and is declaring tomorrow National Axe Cop Day."
Axe Cop
"Does that mean we get tomorrow off?"
Axe Cop
"Hey, bros, let's all take a vacation together."
Axe Cop
"I hate vacations."
Axe Cop
"You need a break more than any of us."
Axe Cop
"- Not gonna happen. - What if I told you"
Axe Cop
"I happen to have this cake coupon right here."
Axe Cop
"It's good at any beach resort in the whole world."
Axe Cop
"Yeah, you could think of it as a va-cake-tion."
Axe Cop
"Hmm. A cake vacation?"
Axe Cop
"Flute Cop, we'll use your miles."
Axe Cop
"I'll have an apple juice, no ice."
Axe Cop
"Do you have chocolate milk?"
Axe Cop
"Just give me my keys."
Axe Cop
"What am I supposed to do for two hours?"
Axe Cop
"I need 30 TV sets and 30 VCRs brought to my room"
Axe Cop
"so I can watch movies I made of me fighting."
Axe Cop
"I like to study all my moves."
Axe Cop
"I'm also gonna need a birthday cake."
Axe Cop
"Mm mm."
Axe Cop
"Mmm?"
Axe Cop
"Gah! Who makes these machines, bad guys?"
Axe Cop
"Man! I haven't seen you since fighting college."
Axe Cop
"If I'm not mistaken, that was exactly 10 years ago."
Axe Cop
"Don't you know it. But nothing has changed."
Axe Cop
"Oh, we used to tear it up back then."
Axe Cop
"My team and I are on va-cake-tion."
Axe Cop
"- That sounds fun. - What about you?"
Axe Cop
"I'm here celebrating my anniversary."
Axe Cop
"You've chopped 10 million heads already!?"
Axe Cop
"- Congratulations! - Oh no no no no."
Axe Cop
"I haven't chopped a head in ages."
Axe Cop
"- It's my wedding anniversary. - Ha!"
Axe Cop
"I'm serious."
Axe Cop
"Now I'm a husband. Ooh! Speaking of which,"
Axe Cop
"the wife and I have this couples spa treatment right about now, so..."
Axe Cop
"I gotta run. See ya later!"
Axe Cop
"I remember that."
Axe Cop
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