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Clips from South Park - The Snuke (S11E11)

"Like what?"
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"Whispering, but whispering really loudly for dramatic effect."
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"Oh jeez."
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"What the hell?"
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"All students are to evacuate the school immediately!"
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"Hey, Bahir, since we get to go home,"
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"you wanna come over play checkers?"
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"- Sure, okay. - All right!"
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"Dude."
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"Yeah."
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"Dude, I just got an IM from Stan that they evacuated the school."
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"I guess so."
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"Yeah, well I don't like it! It doesn't follow!"
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"Why would a terrorist just blow up a school?"
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"Oh my God! Unless this was all just a big diversion."
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"Okay."
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"Their website should have a calendar of events."
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"Is there anything big going on in town today?"
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"- Yeah. Actually, there is. - What?"
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"There's a Hillary Clinton campaign rally."
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"Cartman? Cartman?"
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"Sir! There's somebody calling in saying"
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"there's going to be a terrorist attack"
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"What? This is CIA head, Alan Thompson."
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"Mr. Thompson, you have to call off the Clinton rally!"
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"There's a terrorist in South Park!"
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"What do you know?"
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"I need to speak with the President right away!"
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"I'm the head of the CIA! You can tell me!"
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"I said I will only talk to the President!"
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"Look, if you have information of a threat, you could--"
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"I can't hear you! Only the president!"
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"Call is coming through now, Mr. President."
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"Hello?"
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"President Bush, it's Eric Cartman."
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"Look, I know you're not the biggest Hildog fan,"
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"Hildog?"
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"Yes, I understand. I'll let Ms. Clinton know."
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"What is it, Brian?"
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"Ms. Clinton, we just received word"
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"of a possible terrorist attack on your rally today."
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"Is the threat credible?"
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"We aren't sure, but perhaps it's best we call it off."
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"No. No, I will not be bullied by terrorist threats."
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"Your men do a good job, Brian."
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"I have faith that any thread will be taken care of accordingly."
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"We've reached the rally site, Hildog."
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"Don't worry, Mrs. Clinton, I'm sure everything will be fine."
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"They know about the bomb!"
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"We took every measure to assure the bomb was hidden from sight."
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"Well, somebody tipped off the CIA."
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"That bomb must travel with the Clinton rally to Boston!"
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"The bomb won't make it to Boston now!"
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"With the heightened security,"
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"it's only a matter of time before they find it!"
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"- I understand, comrade. - Prepare yourself."
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"We detonate the bomb within the hour."
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"- So then maybe you're wrong. - Nope, I'm not wrong."
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"He must be somehow attacking remotely from his house."
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"Did you find the address?"
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"Yeah. I cross-referenced his MySpace page with Realtor.com."
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"His parents moved into that green house on Janice Street."
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"Jesus, that's on the other side of town."
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"All right, Kyle, I'm going to take a picture"
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"with my camera phone and upload it to you."
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"- You ready? - Yeah."
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"- What is that? - It's my balls!"
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"Okay. Okay, Kyle, let's stay focused here."
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"People of South Park, it is my honor"
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"to introduce a woman who deserves nothing but respect."
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"Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton!"
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"It is so nice to be back in a small town like the one I came from."
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"Hildog!"
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"If there is a bomb, the pig will find it."
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"This is why I campaign in small towns like these!"
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"Because it is in towns like South Park that you find the true America!"
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"- Oh my God, she got a scent! - What?"
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"The pig is picking up the smell of nuclear residue."
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"Oh my God! Where? Where could they have stashed it?"
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"Come on, find it. Find!"
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"My God, they hid it under the stage?!"
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"No wait, look."
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"How much money do we have to waste on needless spending"
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"when we should be focusing all our attention on..."
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"on the education of all--"
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"Whoa, there, girl."
South Park
"On the education of all children."
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"Oh, I declare!"
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"Do you think they could have hidden a nuclear device up Mrs. Clinton's..."
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"Mr. Thompson, that kid who called in the warning was right!"
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"We uncovered intel that terrorists have obtained a nuclear device"
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"- In her snatch, sir. - What?!"
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"What is going on? I wasn't finished."
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"Security measure, Mrs. Clinton. Probably nothing."
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"Yes?"
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"Mr. Jeffries, this is Alan Thompson with the CIA."
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"We have reason to believe that Mrs. Clinton"
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"may have a nuclear device up her snatch."
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"- A what?! - A snatch."
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"It's the technical term for vagina."
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"It's a suitcase nuke, designed to fit in a woman's snizz."
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"What is going on, Brian?"
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"Ms. Clinton, it appears that terrorists have snuck a snuke up your snizz."
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"Oh my!"
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"What can we do? Can we disable the timer?"
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"It won't have a timer."
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"Snukes are detonated remotely."
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"Whoever our terrorist is has a detonator with him."
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"But then that means..."
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"everyone in the town of South Park is going to die."
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"Forever."
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"- Do we have that phone trace? - The call is going through now, sir."
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"- Yeah? - This is CIA head Alan Thompson."
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"- We spoke before about the-- - Yes, Mr. Thompson?"
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"- Well, we've just arrived in your town. - Why? Did you find something?"
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"- A snuke? - That's right."
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"It's controlled by a remote detonator."
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"We have to locate the terrorist before he sets it off."
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"I have the address of the house the terrorist moved into."
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"I'm almost there now, where are you?"
South Park
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