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Clips from 30 Rock - The Beginning of the End (S07E07)

"Nobody will be your maid of honor,"
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"because there's only one person who can be -- you."
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"- What? That's crazy. - Think about it."
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"There would be nobody to steal your spotlight."
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"In fact, you would have two spotlights."
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"I think the maid of honor should sing at my wedding."
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"Sure."
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"that takes the audience all the way through the wedding night."
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"and everyone applauded and cried?"
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"So, what do you say?"
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"Jonathan."
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"Last night, when you left,"
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"Hazel came on to me 'cause she wants me to put her in a movie."
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"Hazel, is this true?"
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"Yeah."
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"It is true."
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"What I said was I would never sleep with Tracy for a pan in a movie."
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"Oh, please, you would love for me to fall asleep on top of you."
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"- My best friend. - Not really."
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"- And my girlfriend. - You wish."
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"But yesterday you told me our women are queens, and they're always right,"
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"which means I should believe Hazel."
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"You can't both be right."
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"Unless Hazel is always right,"
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"which means you're right, too."
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"And both sides being right is like kissing your sister."
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"Bad move, Jordan."
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"- That's what I just said. - What?"
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"Sometimes tanking it is the only option."
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"What did you do,"
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"fake a sprained ankle to get out of that breast health 5K?"
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"I forgot my sports bra, so, ironically --"
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"I'm just glad that you've seen the light."
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"Now, help me tank NBC, and you'll be helping yourself."
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"You'll have it all."
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"Jack, it's 9:30 in the morning."
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"- Next word, sent. - I don't care."
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"Sent."
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"...yourself!"
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"Next word is au pair."
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"What? There is only one definition."
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"It's, like, a nanny. A foreign nanny."
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"No! You forgot it could also be an exclamation about a fruit,"
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"as in, Oh, pear!"
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"What you are doing here is not right!"
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"The cast of L.A. Law."
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"Oh, really, Lemon? You can't even say trying?"
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"I was never married."
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"What the hell is that?"
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"A show I am very excited about."
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"But it's not a yacht for corporate parties and hooker disposal."
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"Oh, I'm fine, Liz. The doves were just a drill."
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"Everyone needs to be on their toes for my wedding year."
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"whose real last name is Hershlag, by the way."
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"I'm saving myself for marriage,"
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"Honor your queen, Kenneth."
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"Yeah."
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"But I have a plan that will fix everything."
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"Okay, here's the thing, Jack."
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"- Your shows stink, Jack. - Really?"
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"Okay, great."
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"the way most white ladies are with their best friends?"
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"who will buy the network and keep me in charge."
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"Welcome to our home."
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"- No, Jenna, I'm allergic to dogs. - Oh, don't worry."
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"You know what? I can't do anything tonight."
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"No way! You planned it already?"
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"It helps keep the shape of my shoes."
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"Go ahead and try."
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"You just called me Liz!"
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"We can fix that in the cutting room."
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"Not!"
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"But that would make you wrong, Mr. Jordan,"
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"It's a blessing and a purse."
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"We'll see who's still working here in six months."
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"It doesn't matter, Lemon."
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"Let's take this mother down."
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"No! Sorry. No."
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"Oh! It's a Homonym Double Down."
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"Yes. I have seen them."
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"My wedding is gonna be a disaster!"
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"is just another negative synergy dynamics matrix."
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"I don't... think so."
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"This explains everything. How long has this been going on?"
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"because no one's supposed to be living here,"
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"Because you're not famous!"
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"I wanted you because you're nothing!"
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"Where's my car?"
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"Means you get to guess again."
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"Well, I feel like New York City is one of the characters on our show."
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"How would you like to have your own sitcom?"
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"No, this is the nadir of my career, Lemon."
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"the levees blew themselves up in New Orleans,"
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"Oh, Liz."
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"No, that's shoe stuffing."
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"I never know what's happening anywhere."
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"I have never been better."
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"And that's what you're gonna serve to Tracy Jordan?"
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"The cake is a tasteless foam."
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"You're just using Kenneth! And I'm telling him everything!"
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"I don't remember which is which."
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"it's that the more you know, the more you realize you do not... know."
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"Tracy!"
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"Never."
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"My hearing is bad because of firecrackers,"
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"Thank you for saying that in dated urban slang so that I'll understand you."
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"That's idiotic."
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"What positions are you using?"
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"Ugh!"
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"It's about a boy who befriends a talking panda,"
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"How long is the show gonna last? How many eggs do I have left?"
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"One of the Maloofs wants me dead, and the other one loves me."
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"Turning around on God Cop scene 24."
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"Join me, Lemon. Help me tank NBC."
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"There's no cake?"
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"I don't understand the rules of this."
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"Well, I always believe you, sir, because you're on television."
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"Now, what do you say? Are you in?"
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"Okay, then scent like a smell or an odor."
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"Hey! One-percent d-bag!"
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