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Clips from Louie (2010) - Travel Day / South (S01E01)

"Why is it less of a threat in the belly of the plane if it has some sort of--"
Louie (2010)
"I'm not saying this is a weapon."
Louie (2010)
"Sir, what's in this bottle?"
Louie (2010)
"Lube. Lube?"
Louie (2010)
"Yes, it's lubricant for masturbating with."
Louie (2010)
"It's technically made for sex, but I have personally never used it that way."
Louie (2010)
"I use it to masturbate with."
Louie (2010)
"It's easier to masturbate if I use this lubricant."
Louie (2010)
"Let him keep it."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"I don't care."
Louie (2010)
"Well, you know what you should do? When you go in there, just talk to--"
Louie (2010)
"Ask for anybody who's like a sales manager at the Subaru place."
Louie (2010)
"In most of these situations, they don't know what they're doing."
Louie (2010)
"Just play stupid, you know? Uh-huh."
Louie (2010)
"Well, you-- Ha. I mean, if you're betting on the Jets, you moron...."
Louie (2010)
"Let me ask you, you think the Jets really have a chance of winning?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, I do. I think they have a chance. Who told you that?"
Louie (2010)
"Mike. Ha-ha-ha."
Louie (2010)
"And where you gonna go after that? I'm gonna go to the park."
Louie (2010)
"Ah. You know, you gotta do what you gotta do."
Louie (2010)
"Can I have a glass of water, please? - Just a minute."
Louie (2010)
"Small plane. Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain, Jeff Taymor."
Louie (2010)
"Thanks for joining us to Birmingham this afternoon."
Louie (2010)
"We're gonna have a slight delay here due to weather in Birmingham."
Louie (2010)
"I haven't gotten clearance to take off yet due to a severe tornado, hurricane..."
Louie (2010)
"...perfect storm."
Louie (2010)
"In addition to that, we have a few maintenance issues."
Louie (2010)
"Broken wing and something's wrong with the safety-related part of the plane."
Louie (2010)
"We'll be getting on our way here in a few minutes."
Louie (2010)
"Should be to Birmingham on time."
Louie (2010)
"Thanks for flying with us, and sit back and enjoy the ride."
Louie (2010)
"Ladies and gentlemen, we're hitting a rough patch of turbulence here."
Louie (2010)
"There's a storm system over Birmingham..."
Louie (2010)
"...and it should be pretty rough going as we poke through it."
Louie (2010)
"Stay in your seats with your seat belts fastened."
Louie (2010)
"We'll have you on the ground in a few minutes."
Louie (2010)
"God have mercy on all our souls."
Louie (2010)
"Flight attendants, prepare for landing."
Louie (2010)
"Ladies and gentlemen--"
Louie (2010)
"Never mind, folks. I.... Uh...."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, man."
Louie (2010)
"You think we're gonna die right now? I don't know. You think?"
Louie (2010)
"I don't know, man."
Louie (2010)
"- Aah! - No, no! Jesus, God, no!"
Louie (2010)
"Jesus! Jesus, God, no!"
Louie (2010)
"I think that's the sound somebody makes when they're about to die."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, man, that was.... Oh, boy. Whew."
Louie (2010)
"Well, so long, Dennis."
Louie (2010)
"Take care, Louie. Okay, man."
Louie (2010)
"Anyway, I...."
Louie (2010)
"I feel pretty good because I finally have the body that I want."
Louie (2010)
"You just have to want a shitty body."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, man, say some shit about Mobile."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"What? Say some shit about Mobile."
Louie (2010)
"We hate Mobile. - Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"Man, I'm not gonna-- I'm not gonna say some shit about Mobile."
Louie (2010)
"- Just say some shit about Mobile. - Come on, man. Just say some shit."
Louie (2010)
"If you want my opinion, you can take both those towns..."
Louie (2010)
"...and shove them both up your ass. - Man, you suck."
Louie (2010)
"You suck! You suck!"
Louie (2010)
"All right, man. Okay. Come on, man."
Louie (2010)
"- Go back home, Yankee. - I paid good money for these."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, man, okay, come on."
Louie (2010)
"Rosemary. I like it. Alison, I have a little surprise for you tonight."
Louie (2010)
"Instead of the usual thing I get every single time, I know what I want."
Louie (2010)
"Where the hell am I?"
Louie (2010)
"--with the soup on it."
Louie (2010)
"Four hundred times and I never get it. This time I'm gonna get it tonight."
Louie (2010)
"Hi. You're that comedian guy?"
Louie (2010)
"Right? You're that comedian guy?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"My sister's a big fan of you."
Louie (2010)
"Oh."
Louie (2010)
"Great big fan."
Louie (2010)
"She wants to meet you, but she's shy."
Louie (2010)
"Do you want to meet my sister?"
Louie (2010)
"She's a great big fan of you."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, well, I-- She's right over there."
Louie (2010)
"Wanna meet her?"
Louie (2010)
"You wanna meet her."
Louie (2010)
"Sure. Okay."
Louie (2010)
"This is Doreen. - Hi."
Louie (2010)
"She's a big fan of you."
Louie (2010)
"Hi, thank you."
Louie (2010)
"Go on. Sit down. Go on."
Louie (2010)
"I'm a really big fan of you. Why don't you sit down?"
Louie (2010)
"Hi."
Louie (2010)
"I-- I used to watch your show and I've seen all your comedy..."
Louie (2010)
"...and I think you're so funny."
Louie (2010)
"Thank you very much. Thanks, that's nice."
Louie (2010)
"I know, I wanted to get tickets, but it was too much, so--"
Louie (2010)
"Oh, sorry."
Louie (2010)
"...and you walked in, and I said to Curtis, "Oh, my God, that's him.""
Louie (2010)
"Oh, yeah?"
Louie (2010)
"Hmm."
Louie (2010)
"So you guys are from around here, or--?"
Louie (2010)
"Oh, don't say that. Well, you're from New York."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, well, New York is full of nobodies. I mean, everybody's nobody."
Louie (2010)
"You're really smart."
Louie (2010)
"Not really. Yeah, you are."
Louie (2010)
"I just think you're great. I mean, your comedy is just so smart and funny."
Louie (2010)
"Thank you, thank you, that's really nice."
Louie (2010)
"She's a great big fan of you."
Louie (2010)
"Can I say something kind of weird? Sure."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, it's not weird, it's just kind of...."
Louie (2010)
"Well, I never thought I'd meet you."
Louie (2010)
"I wanna tell you that..."
Louie (2010)
"...I think you're sexy."
Louie (2010)
"Sexy."
Louie (2010)
"And it was really nice to meet you, but I...."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, y--"
Louie (2010)
"You're leaving? - Yeah."
Louie (2010)
"I gotta go. It was nice to meet you though."
Louie (2010)
"It was nice to-- It was nice to meet you."
Louie (2010)
"So, what's wrong? You don't like my sister?"
Louie (2010)
"You think you're too good for my sister?"
Louie (2010)
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