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Clips from Gravity Falls - Stanchurian Candidate (S02E02)

"Dear Stan, I needed something to carry milk in"
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"Uhh!"
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"Ahh."
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"Dear Stan, I took these"
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"to build a planetarium suit for Soos."
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"like, pennies and war bonds."
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"and the light it emits makes your skin softer."
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"Well, TV, at least you appreciate me. Give me the good news."
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"This just in: the mayor is dead."
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"Mayor Eustace "Huckabone" Befufftlefumpter"
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"possibly starting World War I,"
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"A memorial statue is already being carved"
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"I'm just so happy!"
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"New mayor, huh?"
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"Calm down, now."
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"We're here to choose a mayor for the first time in almost a century."
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"count to ten, and throw their hat into the provided ring."
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"but I'd like to make up for it by formally announcing"
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"Any questions?"
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"That's a great question!"
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"In fact, everyone look under your seats."
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"Wow! A colorful piece of paper! He's got my vote."
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"Loving you, Tad!"
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"He'd run and win"
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"So, since everyone's happy,"
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"Stanford? No offense,"
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"and your head is more ears than face!"
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"Are we just gonna let Bud win?"
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"but you just made a powerful enemy."
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"Election! Election! Election!"
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"Grunkle Stan, what are you doing?!"
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"Running for mayor."
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"and what do I have to show for my life?"
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"Psst. Mabel, let's talk."
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"heck, he's committing voter fraud right now--"
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"and we're the only ones who can stop him."
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"You're right Dipper."
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"Besides, Stan has a kind of charisma."
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"How hard could getting him elected be?"
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"at the candidate they like most."
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"anointing him mayor."
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"are you ready for your first radio interview?"
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"Okay, you're on with the candidate."
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"And now, here's the-T Man!"
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"Hello."
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"What would you do about the crime in Gravity Falls?"
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"or just the specific crimes committed by m--"
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"You're meme-ing fast,"
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"Look, Grunkle Stan, people are like smell markers,"
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"I only say words that come out of my brain."
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"my mouth says, "Whoa, lady! You got one ugly baby!""
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"The Stump Speech is in a couple of days,"
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"and if he continues like this, we'll lose to Bud for sure."
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"that would allow you to control someone else."
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"Yes. There is."
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"A long time ago I designed a prototype"
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"And ethically ambiguous!"
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"he'll say and do whatever you want him to."
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"Yes, yes. Use it responsibly and all."
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"Prosperity? Git it!"
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"wear too much makeup?"
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"And have you done something with your hair?"
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"Girl, you are workin' it!"
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"America. Freedom. Ameri-freedom."
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"Grunkle Stan, that was amazing!"
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"Or gut. Or something."
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"Yes we Stan!"
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"Please excuse me for a moment."
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"This is a minor setback, but we'll win,"
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"I'm sure of it."
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"I have fingerpainting at the same time!"
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"pardon me out of prison, and we're not gonna let the Pines"
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"waiting for the right moment."
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"Well, Daddy,"
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"Anything but that!"
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"Lookin' good, mayor candidate."
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"Stan!"
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"On the house, Mr. Big Shot."
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"Grunkle Stan, what's with the outfit?"
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"Come on, have you seen the polls?"
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"I could debate naked and I'd still win."
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"we need you to wear that suit and tie Grunkle Stan."
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"Suit and tie. Gotta wear it."
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"I am taking this seriously!"
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"If you haven't noticed, everything that's come out of this golden mouth"
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"Well, you can tell that know-it-all Ford"
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"I'm gonna win this debate on my own, without any of you!"
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"What we need is a blank slate,"
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"someone totally suggestible,"
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"Hey, a little help, dudes?"
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"I guess this is my life now."
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"Long time no see. Hee hee. Whoo-hoo-hoo!"
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"You're making me very uncomfortable right now."
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"One new candidate has entered the race!"
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"We have the cannons."
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"Boo!"
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"What? Uh..."
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"Well, I can sing round the issues!"
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"Widdle old me."
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"Aha! Hello there! Long time no see."
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"Except in my revenge fantasies"
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"Oh, I'd be happy to spare you, Mabel, if you agree to be mine."
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"finishing the mountain's construction,"
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"Say hello to the next mayor of Gravity Falls, kids!"
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"Boo!!!!"
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"What do you all want from me?"
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"Kids!"
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"- Aah! - Aaah!"
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"this debate is over."
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"Can it, Gleeful!"
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"No! Stop it! Thank you, but stop it!"
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"Heeyahh!"
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"Kids! Look, I'm sorry I was being stubborn."
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"make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Ford."
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"Despite winning an overwhelming 95% of the vote,"
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"election officials had to disqualify him"
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"Stan, what did you do?"
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"What didn't I do?"
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"Crimes include shoplifting,"
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"first-degree llamacide..."
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