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Clips from Zoolander

"- Hey, my man. - What's happening?"
Zoolander
"Derek, back on top, man."
Zoolander
"No, you rock. When are you gonna drop Magnum on us, buddy?"
Zoolander
"Not yet. Gotta tame the beast before you let it out of its cage."
Zoolander
"- Excuse me, bra. - You're excused."
Zoolander
"And I'm not your bra."
Zoolander
"Whatever, dude. Whatever. Peace. God bless."
Zoolander
"What's that?"
Zoolander
"Mugatu's Derelicte campaign. Sorry you didn't book it."
Zoolander
"Me and my friends have been too busy bathing off of St. Barts..."
Zoolander
"with spider monkeys for the past two weeks."
Zoolander
"Tripping on acid changed our whole perspective on shit."
Zoolander
"Would you hold this for me?"
Zoolander
"You think you're too cool for school."
Zoolander
"But I got a news flash for you, Walter Cronkite."
Zoolander
"Hey, I got a wacky idea."
Zoolander
"What say we settle this on the runway..."
Zoolander
"Han Solo"
Zoolander
"Are you challenging me to a walk-off..."
Zoolander
"Boo-lander?"
Zoolander
"Don't do this, Derek."
Zoolander
"Listen to your friend Billy Zane."
Zoolander
"He's a cool dude. He's trying to help you out."
Zoolander
"Ten minutes. Old Members Only warehouse."
Zoolander
"You oughta remember that. You're a dinosaur."
Zoolander
"Let's go. Open up."
Zoolander
"I heard some mad stories about this kid. He's too limber."
Zoolander
"Put a cork in it, Zane!"
Zoolander
"This is urgent, ma'am. Do you have any..."
Zoolander
"What is this? Where is everyone going?"
Zoolander
"Good luck, Derek! Kick Hansel's ass!"
Zoolander
"Thanks, Rico. I'll try."
Zoolander
"You want to see the real world of male modeling?"
Zoolander
"The one they don't show you in magazines or the E Channel?"
Zoolander
"Yeah, I guess. Derek, please."
Zoolander
"I have something really important to talk to you about."
Zoolander
"Not now, Matilda."
Zoolander
"Han-sell-out is about to have his Han-sell-ass..."
Zoolander
"Katinka, thought you might want to know..."
Zoolander
"your boy Zoolander's rolling."
Zoolander
"It's a walk-off."
Zoolander
"All right, who's gonna call this sucker?"
Zoolander
"I believe I might be of service."
Zoolander
"Now, this'll be a straight walk-off, old school rules."
Zoolander
"Okay, boys, let's go to work."
Zoolander
"Age before beauty, goat cheese."
Zoolander
"Whatever."
Zoolander
"Right."
Zoolander
"Playskool, baby."
Zoolander
"Evian."
Zoolander
"It's okay."
Zoolander
"- Kickin', Hoss. - I'm going monk."
Zoolander
"Do it, Hansel."
Zoolander
"Why is he sticking his hand in his pants?"
Zoolander
"Do it, Hansel."
Zoolander
"Thank God I wore underweartoday..."
Zoolander
"He's going for it."
Zoolander
"Oh, my God."
Zoolander
"Disqualified."
Zoolander
"- Derek, come on. - Come on."
Zoolander
"- Derek, come on. - Come on."
Zoolander
"Good. I deserve to die if I can't beat Han-suck-ass in a walk-off."
Zoolander
"The guy had to pull his underwear out of his butt just to beat you."
Zoolander
"And all he had to do was turn left."
Zoolander
"What do you mean?"
Zoolander
"I'm not an ambi-turner."
Zoolander
"It's a problem I had since I was a baby."
Zoolander
"I can't turn left."
Zoolander
"Derek, that's nothing to be ashamed of."
Zoolander
"There have got to be some people out there, just like you..."
Zoolander
"who can't turn... turn left."
Zoolander
"If you want answers, come to Saint Adonis Cemetery now..."
Zoolander
"- Wait! Who are you? - Who was that?"
Zoolander
"I'm not sure. I have to get to Saint Adonis Cemetery."
Zoolander
"I'm gonna take you to my apartment. You can stay there until I get back."
Zoolander
"Can I come with?"
Zoolander
"I don't want to be alone tonight."
Zoolander
""Derriere Extraordinaire"'"
Zoolander
"None of them ever made it past 30."
Zoolander
"Are you a ghost?"
Zoolander
"He called, Derek."
Zoolander
"Let's take a walk."
Zoolander
"You think Zoolander's in trouble?"
Zoolander
"What you've stumbled upon goes way deeper than you could ever fathom."
Zoolander
"every major political assassination over the last 200 years."
Zoolander
"Okay, that's impossible."
Zoolander
"Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right?"
Zoolander
"Mugatu!"
Zoolander
"Without their free labor, prices would have gone up tenfold."
Zoolander
"So the powers that be hired John Wilkes Booth..."
Zoolander
"the original model/actor, to do Mr... Lincoln in..."
Zoolander
"I'll go on. Dallas, Texas, 1963."
Zoolander
"Kennedy had just put a trade embargo on Cuba..."
Zoolander
"Incredibly popular item at the time."
Zoolander
"Lee Harvey Oswald was not a male model."
Zoolander
"Well, what about you? How do you fit in to all this?"
Zoolander
"I can't get over..."
Zoolander
"Wait a minute."
Zoolander
"I know that hand."
Zoolander
"It was in the fall 1973 Bulova watch catalog."
Zoolander
"You're J.P. Prewitt."
Zoolander
"my sweet baby never did."
Zoolander
"Let's keep moving."
Zoolander
"And that's when I found out I was in line to assassinate Jimmy Carter."
Zoolander
"- So, how'd you manage to escape? - Because I'm a hand model, mama."
Zoolander
"A finger jockey. We don't think the same as the face and body boys."
Zoolander
"- We're a different breed. - So why male models?"
Zoolander
"Think about it, Derek."
Zoolander
"Male models are genetically constructed to become assassins..."
Zoolander
"They can gain entry to the most secure places in the world."
Zoolander
"And most important of all, models don't think for themselves."
Zoolander
"- They do as they're told. - That is not true."
Zoolander
"Yeah. Think about any photo shoot you've ever been on."
Zoolander
"Dance, monkey, in your little spangly shoes!"
Zoolander
"Mash your cymbals, chimpy! Dance, Derek, dance!"
Zoolander
"But if this has been going on for so long, Mugatu..."
Zoolander
"He's just a punk-ass errand boy..."
Zoolander
"working for an international syndicate of fashion designers."
Zoolander
"But why male models?"
Zoolander
"Are you serious? I just... I just told you that a moment ago."
Zoolander
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