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Clips from Zoolander

"What is this?"
Zoolander
"How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read..."
Zoolander
"if they can't even fit inside the building?"
Zoolander
"three times bigger than this."
Zoolander
"I have a vision."
Zoolander
"And so do I. Let me show you mine."
Zoolander
"But you've represented every male model in each of his campaigns."
Zoolander
"You must have some kind of a relationship with him."
Zoolander
"Even if I did, why would I talk to you?"
Zoolander
"Shame on you how you picked on Derek Zoolander in that story."
Zoolander
"He's a sweet simpleton who never hurt a fly."
Zoolander
"Please don't change the subject, Mr. Ballstein."
Zoolander
"What about Mugatu's exploitation of sweatshop workers in Malaysia?"
Zoolander
"With a push-up bra, you could have a nice rack of lamb going on there."
Zoolander
"It is a fashion, a way of life..."
Zoolander
"inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants..."
Zoolander
"the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique."
Zoolander
"the image... nay, the spirit of Derelicte!"
Zoolander
"Sounds cool."
Zoolander
"Derek, I'd like you to meet Katinka Ingabogovinana."
Zoolander
"She'll be your day-to-day on the campaign."
Zoolander
"The big show is in eight days, Derek..."
Zoolander
"Like a caterpillar becomes a butterfly..."
Zoolander
"No... Wie're sending you to a very exclusive day spa..."
Zoolander
"Our little secret, okay?"
Zoolander
"- Mati lda, hey. - Hey, Arch, what's up?"
Zoolander
"It's weird. I couldn't get any info on him before 1995."
Zoolander
"It's like he just appeared out of the blue."
Zoolander
"- Really? That's strange. - Yeah."
Zoolander
"You mean, if you pull the thread, the whole thing will unravel?"
Zoolander
"What kind of spa is this?"
Zoolander
"It's designed for deep, deep relaxation."
Zoolander
"Come, let's get you loosened up."
Zoolander
"Good boy."
Zoolander
"Oh, I'm sorry."
Zoolander
"Matilda, what are you doing here?"
Zoolander
"I was..."
Zoolander
"What are you doing here, Derek? I thought you quit the business."
Zoolander
"Haven't you heard? I'm the new face of Mugatu's Derelicte campaign."
Zoolander
"What do you mean, Derek? You said Mugatu never hires you."
Zoolander
"Well, I guess he changed his mind. It's the world's biggest campaign."
Zoolander
"What is this? Who are you?"
Zoolander
"This is private property. Nils!"
Zoolander
"I suggest you and your Kmart Jaclyn Smith Collection outfit..."
Zoolander
"stay the hell away from Derek Zoolander."
Zoolander
"How do you feel, Derek?"
Zoolander
"When's the seaweed wrap?"
Zoolander
"I want you to relax..."
Zoolander
"and breathe deeply."
Zoolander
"Breathe deeply."
Zoolander
"Welcome to your relaxation time..."
Zoolander
"Let this wonderful '80s classic soothe you..."
Zoolander
"Just a nice, warm, happy time..."
Zoolander
"Happy, happy..."
Zoolander
"Just relax..."
Zoolander
"Hey there, Derek... My name is Lil' Kleatus..."
Zoolander
"I'm just a kid who wants you to know the truth about child labor laws..."
Zoolander
"They're silly and outdated... In the good old days..."
Zoolander
"from textile factories to iron smelts..."
Zoolander
"Yippee! Hooray!"
Zoolander
"But today, the age-old right of children to work is under attack..."
Zoolander
"From the Philippines to Bangladesh, in China and India..."
Zoolander
"- He is bad... - What?"
Zoolander
"You learn martial arts..."
Zoolander
"Prime minister ofMalaysia bad!"
Zoolander
"Martial arts good!"
Zoolander
"Kill naughty man!"
Zoolander
"Obey my dog!"
Zoolander
"Do as you've been trained to do and kill the Malaysian prime minister!"
Zoolander
"Karate chop! Bad, man! Awful man!"
Zoolander
"In your little blue suit and your spiky black hair... Kill!"
Zoolander
"- What? - Hey, are you okay?"
Zoolander
"I've been trying to reach you for a week."
Zoolander
"A week? What, are you having a whack attack?"
Zoolander
"That was last Friday."
Zoolander
"Earth to Matilda. I was at a day spa."
Zoolander
"and I'm very complimented but not interested."
Zoolander
"- What? - I can't sleep with you, okay?"
Zoolander
"Okay, if you just want to fool around a little bit..."
Zoolander
"Hey, I don't want to sleep with you!"
Zoolander
"I've been trying to tell you you've been missing for a week."
Zoolander
"I don't care what the date says."
Zoolander
"You have 1,200 messages..."
Zoolander
"- Derek, what happened in that spa? - I don't know."
Zoolander
"A little massage, some aromatherapy."
Zoolander
"I mean, look, lady, you can't just come barging into people's lofts..."
Zoolander
"wanting sex, then changing your mind..."
Zoolander
"So what?"
Zoolander
"Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you..."
Zoolander
"and your "do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives"..."
Zoolander
"so long as you can make a name foryourself as a journalist..."
Zoolander
"no matter how many friends you lose..."
Zoolander
"or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way..."
Zoolander
"just so long as you can make a name foryourself as a journalist..."
Zoolander
"no matter how many friends you lose..."
Zoolander
"or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way?"
Zoolander
"Enough! My head hurts!"
Zoolander
"And if it indeed is what day you claim it is..."
Zoolander
"I have a pre-runway party to attend, if you'll excuse me."
Zoolander
"With your complexion..."
Zoolander
"What are you talking about?"
Zoolander
"It pulls back the skin on your forehead..."
Zoolander
"creating a tension which clogs the pores."
Zoolander
"That's why you have some light pattern dryness around your scalp."
Zoolander
"I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense."
Zoolander
"Not one little bit."
Zoolander
"Hey, I just E-mailed you all those searches..."
Zoolander
"on the male models who've appeared in Mugatu campaigns."
Zoolander
"It's pretty weird. It seems like all of Mr. Mugatu's models..."
Zoolander
"have a bad habit of dying young in freak accidents."
Zoolander
"What?"
Zoolander
"I just thought the way you handled losing that award to Hansel..."
Zoolander
"and then you sort of laid low for a while..."
Zoolander
"It was so courageous."
Zoolander
"Look, I gotta go pee..."
Zoolander
"but I'd really like to continue talking about this conversation."
Zoolander
"Yeah."
Zoolander
"Hey, Derek. You rule."
Zoolander
"Thanks, Paris. I appreciate that."
Zoolander
"- Hey, Derek. - Hey, Maurice."
Zoolander
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