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Clips from Zoolander

"or having a lot of fun and being really, really good-looking..."
Zoolander
"The original Greek word for model means "misshapen ball of clay...""
Zoolander
"Wow!"
Zoolander
"You know, a lot of people said winning this award..."
Zoolander
"four years in a row couldn't happen."
Zoolander
"I stings me like a fissure in my ass, but you're right."
Zoolander
"He's ready."
Zoolander
"I guess I have a lot of things to ponder."
Zoolander
"Hey, the results are in, amigo!"
Zoolander
"I know, right? Riding in on that scooter like he's so cool."
Zoolander
"Earth to Meekus. Duh, okay? I knew that."
Zoolander
"Earth to Brint. I'm not so sure you did..."
Zoolander
"'cause you were all, "I'm sure he's heard of styling gel"..."
Zoolander
"I knew it was a joke, Meekus. I just didn't get it right away."
Zoolander
"- Earth to Brint... - Would you guys stop it already!"
Zoolander
"Did you ever think that maybe there's more to life..."
Zoolander
"really, really, ridiculously good-looking?"
Zoolander
"Uh, Derek, what people?"
Zoolander
"I don't know. People who need help."
Zoolander
"Models help people. They make them feel good about themselves."
Zoolander
"and wear their hair in interesting ways."
Zoolander
"You know what could really help you sort through these important issues?"
Zoolander
"Orange mocha frappuccino!"
Zoolander
"Come on, man! Come on!"
Zoolander
""Derek Zoolander: a model, idiot""
Zoolander
"- Brint! - Huh?"
Zoolander
"which is more meaningful, I think."
Zoolander
"If there's anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us..."
Zoolander
"it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity."
Zoolander
"it doesn't mean that we can't die in a freak gasoline fight accident."
Zoolander
"So today, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to take this opportunity..."
Zoolander
"Hansel. He's so hot right now."
Zoolander
"I would like to take this oppor..."
Zoolander
"People!"
Zoolander
"I'd like to announce my retirement from the male modeling profession."
Zoolander
"What?"
Zoolander
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being good-looking."
Zoolander
"And I plan on finding out what that is. Thank you."
Zoolander
"Mr. Mugatu! Mr. Mugatu!"
Zoolander
"If I could just have a moment of your time, please, sir."
Zoolander
"Just one minute of your time, please, sir!"
Zoolander
"- What do you want? - I'm trying to talk to Mugatu..."
Zoolander
"but he's tougher to get to than the president."
Zoolander
"A what?"
Zoolander
"Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a "eugoogoly" was?"
Zoolander
"How could you have written those terrible things about me?"
Zoolander
"Derek, my editor put that headline on it, okay?"
Zoolander
"read your little Time magazine, or whatever it's called."
Zoolander
"Sorry, lady. Not interested."
Zoolander
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got an after funeral party to attend."
Zoolander
"I want to do something meaningful with my life, Maury..."
Zoolander
"The other day, I was thinking about volunteering..."
Zoolander
"Just thinking about it was the most rewarding experience I've ever had."
Zoolander
"I mean, maybe I could even have my own institute."
Zoolander
"We could call it the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good."
Zoolander
"What about us? We built this place together."
Zoolander
"When I met you, you were a junior petite..."
Zoolander
"and who couldn't turn left to save his ass."
Zoolander
"- Now look at you. - I can turn left!"
Zoolander
"Yeah, right."
Zoolander
"Please. Some male models go left at the end of a runway..."
Zoolander
"Sit down!"
Zoolander
"Didn't you hear me, Maury? I just retired."
Zoolander
"But this is Mugatu, Derek."
Zoolander
"Right now, this guy is so hot..."
Zoolander
"he can take a crap, wrap it in tin foil..."
Zoolander
"put a couple of fishhooks on it..."
Zoolander
"We get back on."
Zoolander
"Figure out who I am. See you around, Maury."
Zoolander
"It's me."
Zoolander
"What do you want?"
Zoolander
"I thought maybe I could work the mines with you guys."
Zoolander
"All the Zoolander men together again, like when we were kids."
Zoolander
"Times have changed. You wouldn't last one day down those coal pits."
Zoolander
"Can't you even pretend to be happy to see me, Pop?"
Zoolander
"Give me a chance."
Zoolander
"I won't let you down. I promise."
Zoolander
"- Ouch! - Oh, I'm sorry."
Zoolander
"Did my pin get in the way of your ass?"
Zoolander
"I'm so tired! No, Todd, not now!"
Zoolander
"You may have to start looking for someone else."
Zoolander
"There is no one else. The show is in ten days, Ballstein."
Zoolander
"Jaco, I hearyou, but the kid's mixed up."
Zoolander
"and tutoring underprivileged retards or some shit."
Zoolander
"I don't care what it takes. Get him back.."
Zoolander
"Yeah, I capisce... Now if I could only "ca-piss"'"
Zoolander
"My prostate's flaring up like a frickin' tiki torch."
Zoolander
"Give me a little pee-pee. Come on, a couple of drops."
Zoolander
"That's what I'm talking about!"
Zoolander
"Surprise!"
Zoolander
"He's feeling pressure from Pressman..."
Zoolander
"He's looking for his all-American John De Rosa, the wide receiver..."
Zoolander
"Big rush..."
Zoolander
"State."
Zoolander
"I think I'm getting the black lung, Pop."
Zoolander
"It's not very well ventilated down there."
Zoolander
"For Christ's sake, Derek, you've been down there one day."
Zoolander
"Talk to me in 30 years."
Zoolander
"Moisture is the essence of wetness..."
Zoolander
"Why'd you have to come back to this damn town?"
Zoolander
"I wanted to make a new life for myself."
Zoolander
"I'm sorry I was born with this perfect bone structure."
Zoolander
"That my hair looks better done up with gel and mousse..."
Zoolander
"than hidden under a stupid hat with a light on it!"
Zoolander
"Prancing around in your underwear with your wiener hanging out?"
Zoolander
"I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid."
Zoolander
"Mer-man."
Zoolander
"Hello? Derek,you hearing me?"
Zoolander
"- God? - God?"
Zoolander
"because Mugatu's making you an offer you won 't believe..."
Zoolander
"You gotta get your took us back here..."
Zoolander
"Well, to tell you the truth, I was a little hesitant at first."
Zoolander
"I mean, you've never hired me before, and I've been around..."
Zoolander
"I never wanted anything from you."
Zoolander
"And it's funny how it switches like that."
Zoolander
"But now the forbidden fruit must be tasted."
Zoolander
"Well, when Maury told me what you were willing to do, I..."
Zoolander
"My mistake,Jacobim."
Zoolander
"What Maury said I was willing to do foryou."
Zoolander
"Let's get back to the reason that we're really here."
Zoolander
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