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Clips from Superstore - Pilot (S01E01)

Look, I get that you're complimenting me,

"Look, I get that you're complimenting me,"

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but it might sound a little condescending,

"but it might sound a little condescending,"

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so, you know...

"so, you know..."

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Oh, yeah, thanks.

"Oh, yeah, thanks."

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No, I wouldn't want to sound condescending

"No, I wouldn't want to sound condescending"

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in front of somebody who works here.

"in front of somebody who works here."

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Right.

"Right."

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Hey, can I run out for two minutes?

"Hey, can I run out for two minutes?"

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like it owes him money.

"like it owes him money."

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Oh, you know what, I'm actually not in charge...

"Oh, you know what, I'm actually not in charge..."

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Yes, of course. I'll take Carly off express.

"Yes, of course. I'll take Carly off express."

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And Vivian can bag, so take as long as you need.

"And Vivian can bag, so take as long as you need."

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Little tip:

"Little tip:"

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don't let the other workers here

"don't let the other workers here"

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know how much better than them you are.

"know how much better than them you are."

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They hate that.

"They hate that."

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I don't know why, maybe because

"I don't know why, maybe because"

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it sounds condescending.

"it sounds condescending."

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Welcome.

"Welcome."

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All right, campers, listen up.

"All right, campers, listen up."

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I've got an important announcement.

"I've got an important announcement."

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This is your garden variety generic decongestant.

"This is your garden variety generic decongestant."

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And this is crystal meth, okay?

"And this is crystal meth, okay?"

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So stop selling them this, so they can't make this.

"So stop selling them this, so they can't make this."

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That guy told me he had a really bad cold.

"That guy told me he had a really bad cold."

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He was buying 35 boxes, Cheyenne.

"He was buying 35 boxes, Cheyenne."

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That should have been a red flag, okay?

"That should have been a red flag, okay?"

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Use your noggin.

"Use your noggin."

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Let's thank Dina

"Let's thank Dina"

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for that helpful tip of the day.

"for that helpful tip of the day."

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Thank you, Dina.

"Thank you, Dina."

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Am I the only one that thinks it's weird

"Am I the only one that thinks it's weird"

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that she walking around with a bag of crystal meth?

"that she walking around with a bag of crystal meth?"

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Hey, listen.

"Hey, listen."

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I... I think there might have been a misunderstanding.

"I... I think there might have been a misunderstanding."

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I'm not an elitist, so...

"I'm not an elitist, so..."

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Oh, elitist? What is that?

"Oh, elitist? What is that?"

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Like, a person who thinks they're better than...

"Like, a person who thinks they're better than..."

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You know what elitist means.

"You know what elitist means."

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Oh, yeah.

"Oh, yeah."

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They learnt that to us in public school.

"They learnt that to us in public school."

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Anyway, I am so proud

"Anyway, I am so proud"

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to welcome two new angels to our Cloud 9 family.

"to welcome two new angels to our Cloud 9 family."

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Okay.

"Okay."

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Hello, everyone.

"Hello, everyone."

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I am Jonah.

"I am Jonah."

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And I am... I am excited to be here.

"And I am... I am excited to be here."

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This is gonna be fun, so...

"This is gonna be fun, so..."

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My name is Mateo Fernando Aquino Liwanag,

"My name is Mateo Fernando Aquino Liwanag,"

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and I'm here to make something of myself.

"and I'm here to make something of myself."

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♪ Spread my wings ♪

"♪ Spread my wings ♪"

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Whoo!

"Whoo!"

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See how far I can fly.

"See how far I can fly."

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Thank you, thank you, thank you.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you."

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Yeah, I, too, would like to see how far I can fly.

"Yeah, I, too, would like to see how far I can fly."

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So...

"So..."

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Now, I used to end these meetings

"Now, I used to end these meetings"

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with some wisdom from the Good Book.

"with some wisdom from the Good Book."

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But then someone reported me to corporate.

"But then someone reported me to corporate."

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Heck yeah, I did.

"Heck yeah, I did."

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Look, I'm a Christian too, but in these four walls,

"Look, I'm a Christian too, but in these four walls,"

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my bible is the employee code of conduct.

"my bible is the employee code of conduct."

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We all thank you for it.

"We all thank you for it."

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I pray for you, Dina.

"I pray for you, Dina."

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I pray for you, too, Glenn.

"I pray for you, too, Glenn."

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No, I'm praying right now.

"No, I'm praying right now."

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I'm praying so hard.

"I'm praying so hard."

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I'm praying harder than you.

"I'm praying harder than you."

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I know how.

"I know how."

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So to welcome our new employees...

"So to welcome our new employees..."

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Welcome.

"Welcome."

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Welcome to Cloud 9.

"Welcome to Cloud 9."

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Hey, do we have any kind of training?

"Hey, do we have any kind of training?"

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I've just been wandering

"I've just been wandering"

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from one department to another,

"from one department to another,"

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trying to look like I have purpose.

"trying to look like I have purpose."

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It works better if you carry a box.

"It works better if you carry a box."

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There you go. See?

"There you go. See?"

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You'll learn as you go.

"You'll learn as you go."

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always show up on time, don't steal,

"always show up on time, don't steal,"

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and stay on the floor supervisor's good side.

"and stay on the floor supervisor's good side."

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The fl... who's the floor supervisor?

"The fl... who's the floor supervisor?"

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I got to go get another box.

"I got to go get another box."

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I'm... Jonah, as you know.

"I'm... Jonah, as you know."

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And you're Ramona.

"And you're Ramona."

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Nope, that is not my name.

"Nope, that is not my name."

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I just don't like random strangers using my name

"I just don't like random strangers using my name"

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like we're buddies.

"like we're buddies."

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Right, like how hookers

"Right, like how hookers"

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Did you just compare me to a hooker?

"Did you just compare me to a hooker?"

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No.

"No."

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You look bored.

"You look bored."

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Let me help you with that.

"Let me help you with that."

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All electronics are supposed to be 25% off,

"All electronics are supposed to be 25% off,"

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but our POS system is down.

"but our POS system is down."

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So you scan, hit "reassign,"

"So you scan, hit "reassign,""

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"enter," "override, yes,"

""enter," "override, yes,""

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"reduce 0.25," "enter, yes, yes."

""reduce 0.25," "enter, yes, yes.""

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You are not paying attention.

"You are not paying attention."

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I'm sorry. Go ahead.

"I'm sorry. Go ahead."

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"Confirm," "enter, yes." Got it?

""Confirm," "enter, yes." Got it?"

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If I guessed your name,

"If I guessed your name,"

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Take this.

"Take this."

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Oh, it's so pretty!

"Oh, it's so pretty!"

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I'll make a list.

"I'll make a list."

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Do you know the difference

"Do you know the difference"

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between a stool softener and a laxative?

"between a stool softener and a laxative?"

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I'll be right with you, ma'am.

"I'll be right with you, ma'am."

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Cheyenne, what's going on?

"Cheyenne, what's going on?"

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My boyfriend just asked me to marry him.

"My boyfriend just asked me to marry him."

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I want it out of me.

"I want it out of me."

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You know, I hadn't realized earlier

"You know, I hadn't realized earlier"

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that Cheyenne was the lucky girl you'd be proposing to.

"that Cheyenne was the lucky girl you'd be proposing to."

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Yeah, well, I knocked her up,

"Yeah, well, I knocked her up,"

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so my dad says I have to.

"so my dad says I have to."

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So romantic.

"So romantic."

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That's how I do it, yo.

"That's how I do it, yo."

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100% love.

"100% love."

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Bulking agent?

"Bulking agent?"

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Why would I want more bulk?

"Why would I want more bulk?"

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