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Clips from Schitt's Creek - The Drip (S01E01)

"Make yourselves at home. Roland's just on the toilet."
Schitt's Creek
"Oh, what a surprise."
Schitt's Creek
"You have a really lovely home. It's really understated."
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"Thank you. I get a lot of my ideas from magazines."
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"Don't be modest."
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"This is 100% you and only you."
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"Hey, okay. It's the Roses."
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"Come on, folks, please sit."
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"Come on, I'm just the mayor, for crying out loud."
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"That's too bad about Alexis."
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"Well, it is. But we did bring the life of the party."
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"Our David."
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"I hope everybody likes a cheeseball."
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"- Cheeseball? - Ooh!"
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"It's the treat that keeps our love life percolating."
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"It's like an aphrodisiac with him."
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"Go ahead."
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"Oh, yes, can't wait. Can't wait. Mmm."
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"So, David, tell us about yourself."
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"- I hear you're a gallerist. - Oh. Wow!"
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"Tell them about your last show."
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"- It's not... It's not... - You must, please."
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"Tell them, David, tell them."
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"The gallery worked with Janet Kempfluugen."
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"Kempfluugen?"
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"She's a Brooklyn-based performance artist. She's a big deal."
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"Anyway, she would walk into the space wearing a clay mask of a fawn,"
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"remove her clothing and breastfeed members of the audience."
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"It was a commentary on income inequality."
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"- Wow. - Heady stuff."
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"Yeah. Hmm..."
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"Lip gloss?"
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"I wish I could pull off the whole gluey, no makeup look."
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"Thank you."
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"So, why are you single?"
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"Who said I'm single?"
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"Girl, we are on the hunt. I hope you are single."
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"A town this size,"
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"you've either been through 'em or know way too much about 'em."
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"So you're gonna be okay?"
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"- I live here. - Okay, okay."
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"- Am I good? Yes? Okay. - Mmm-hmm."
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"- Thank you. - You're not cold?"
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"Chuck, beer!"
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"I know it's gotta be in here somewhere."
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"Slippery little bastard."
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"Maybe a fork would help, Roland?"
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"That's sweet. Thank you. I'm okay. I'll find it."
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"So is that the contract over there?"
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"Yeah, it is. You know, I gotta be honest with you."
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"Ah, got it! There she is! Okay."
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"Oh!"
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"Oh, my God, honey. Oh, that is good."
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"That is good."
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"I believe you were saying, John..."
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"Yes. This reminds me of a merger I put together in Zurich."
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"It was two families breaking bread together, and we..."
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"- Very, very... - My head. My head hurts."
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"I think it's the migraines that I get a lot."
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"Oh, I think that'll pass, David."
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"I don't think it's gonna pass. I don't think it's passing."
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"Migraines can be so awful."
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"Yeah, well, not this one. Not this one."
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"Yeah, you know what? I think I need to go."
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"Take me with you, please."
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"David, sit down. Sit down. Sit back down."
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"Jocelyn, thank you so much for dinner."
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"Why don't you lie down on our mattress?"
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"No. Thanks."
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"- David! Don't go near the door. - Thank you."
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"I brought vodka as a house gift."
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"I don't see it."
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"From the cafe. Yeah."
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"Yeah. David Rose."
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"I'm a little drunk."
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"Mmm-hmm."
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"- Hey. - Hey, Stevie."
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"I am going to roast myself a marshmallow."
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"- Anybody? - No. Thanks."
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"- You're all good? - No."
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"- No, thanks. - Great."
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"I don't know why you were so reluctant to show up here."
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"You fit right in."
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"Well, my sister texted me "help.""
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"And my mind went straight to Deliverance."
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"So I wasn't too far off."
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"That's funny, because your sister texted me from across the bonfire"
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"and said you'd probably show up here"
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"because you were bored and lonely and had nothing better to do."
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"That's where that's coming from, so..."
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"Oh, okay."
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"Are you serious? That's so funny. That's so funny."
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"So I guess you're free to go."
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"I'm gonna need a stiff drink to get through this. Stiff."
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"or you want to finish high school?"
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"I'm not sure. I couldn't hear over your husband's chewing."
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"I teach high school."
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"Oh, you're a saint."
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"I love it. I love connecting with the young people."
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"Although I know those boys are undressing me"
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"Yeah. Well, maybe we should hold onto our chalk. Hmm?"
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"They're boys. It's cute."
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"John..."
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"Oh. Ah-ha!"
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"There it is! There it is! The Vivien Blake bitch face!"
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"- Excuse me? - I didn't want to say anything,"
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"- Thanks. - It's true."
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"He lived for Sunrise Bay."
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"I could be doing cartwheels in a thong in front of that television,"
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"but if your show was on, I was as good as wallpaper."
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"Hey, how many people did you slap on that show?"
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"I don't care."
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"She can't remember. There were so many slaps."
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"Enough about me. Let's talk about you signing this contract."
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"Well, somebody is in a little hurry, isn't she?"
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"No, no. We're not in a hurry. No."
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"- Aren't we? Really? - No. We're not. No."
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"There it is again! Bam!"
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"- I will go ahead and sign off on the sale... - Moira."
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"Good."
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