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Clips from Schitt's Creek - The Drip (S01E01)

"We are getting out!"
Schitt's Creek
"not to connect with people right now."
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"Or conscious."
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"A guy named Ray..."
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"He said that he would never date anyone with a toe ring and yet..."
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"I rubbed your back many a nights when you were little."
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"Actually, now that I think about it, where are those friends?"
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"- Because they're considerate people. - Oh, right."
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"Well, I think it's best that he dumped you."
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"Oh, I love your complexion."
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"Well, I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm not super optimistic."
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"I don't think my sheets have been cleaned. They smell like cigarettes."
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"Okay. I'm gonna pass."
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"Stavros just posted three more photos."
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"Um, at least 5'7"."
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"So thank you."
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"You're not rejecting my hospitality, are you, Johnny?"
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"Johnny, you want that. To get that you need this."
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"Can one thing, just one thing, not be easy in this town?"
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"David, you've got nothing on tonight."
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"- Don't you dare... - It's a dance."
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"but only because I've allowed him to think..."
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"Are you listening to this?"
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"What's this?"
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"I don't know what that is, but it's a thing."
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"Ooh, hors d'oeuvres."
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"Well, I guess that just means there's more for you and me, right, Dave?"
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"There's a 10-dollar word for you."
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"No, thank you."
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"It's so French."
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"Oh, no, no. I'm not "on the hunt.""
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"Okay. I'm gonna go do a lap and this swan is best when she flies solo."
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"I tried reading that thing. It is really boring."
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"I think you need to eat something and that will help."
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"No, I think I need to go back."
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"The sheets are in the dryer, but there is rubber pad."
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"I'm Twyla."
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"Well, my sister is a broken shell of a human being."
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"Oh. Well, she seems fine."
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"every time I drop a piece of chalk."
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"which I have done,"
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"It's true. We've role-played it like a thousand times."
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"- Slap him. Slap my husband, Moira. - Just slap me."
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"- Slap me like a bitch! - Sign the fucking contract!"
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"Ah, worse than this."
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"But it was kind of nice to just, like, flex the old muscle."
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"- Sometimes it doesn't work out, I guess. - Yeah."
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"Just open your throat!"
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"This is my town and you're gonna play by my rules."
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"Well..."
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"before you bought it."
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"And we'll be here another 20 years,"
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"Sweetheart! We got the thing signed, okay?"
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"- Ten to a five. Thanks. - Night, night."
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"- Moira! - Hmm."
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"Moira!"
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"Oh, no! I just finally cried myself to sleep."
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"The bed's soaking wet."
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"Is it blood?"
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"No! There's a leak in the ceiling."
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"- There is a brown disgusting drip coming. - Oh!"
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"Look at the... Look at... Oh, my God."
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"- I can't do it. I tried! - This place is a dump! It's a dump."
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"You know what? It's a hell hole."
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"I tried, John, but I can't!"
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"- Ah! - Wake up."
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"- Ah! - Start packing."
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"The plumbing is shot to hell in this place and we are getting out."
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"What are you wearing? What is that? A nightgown?"
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"It's a nightshirt, David. And that's not the issue."
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"The issue is the brown sludge in my bed."
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"We're selling the place!"
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"What's the name of the mouthy kid at the front desk?"
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"I don't know. I'm trying very hard"
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"The mouth, the mouth, the girl."
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"You might want to rethink the nightgown first."
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"There's a whole Ebenezer Scrooge thing happening."
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"Oh, my God, that's who I was thinking of."
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"You know what? I'll do it myself."
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"Hello! Hello! Service?"
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"This bell is broken."
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"Yeah, sorry. It's more or less decorative."
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"There's a leak in my room."
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"Brown, disgusting sewage water was dripping all over my bed this morning."
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"I was soaking wet. So I need a plumber."
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"You want me to call a plumber?"
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"Do I want you to call a plumber?"
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"Yes, yes, I do. I want you call..."
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"You should already be on the phone."
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"Could you call a plumber?"
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"I'll see if he's home."
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"He's a good guy. He's just a big drinker."
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"I also need a real-estate agent."
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"The name of a good real-estate agent right away."
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"Oh, there's a guy named Ray."
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"Yeah. He's the best one. He's also the only one, so..."
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"Is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. Rose?"
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"Uh, yes. My wife and I will be taking breakfast in our room this morning."
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"Eggs Florentine and a yoghurt parfait."
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"Yeah."
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"Unfortunately, due to a lack of everything, we don't do room service."
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"Um, but you're always welcome to help yourself to our complimentary espresso bar."
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"I'd rather drink the pipe water."
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"I hear ya."
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"Ew."
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"Who even is this girl?"
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"Oh!"
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"Rub my back."
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"What? No."
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"Yeah, in exchange for half my allowance."
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"Fine. You may select one silver piece"
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"from my accessory case. Right here."
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"Oh, my God. She has "hakuna matata" tattooed on her foot."
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"Stavros was seeing escorts before you."
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"A Disney tattoo shouldn't be a surprise."
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"We said no social media post breakup."
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"- We had a pact about that. - He dates hookers."
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"Well, I'm sorry that I don't hire my friends at model castings."
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"They're just giving me space right now."
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"- Space. Yeah. - Okay."
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