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Clips from South Park - Bloody Mary (S09E09)

"I'm doing some sweet banzai moves."
South Park
"I'm a little better than everyone else here."
South Park
"Eriku-san, you must follow direction! You raku disciprine!"
South Park
"Nah-uh, I don't raku disciprine!"
South Park
"Mina-san! You all needu more disciprine!"
South Park
"Wait. Where's my Dad?"
South Park
"Oh yeah, I'll be fine. I got some beers to keep my buzz going."
South Park
"Why not just pull over?"
South Park
"No, dude, it's the police."
South Park
"What seems to be the officer, problem?"
South Park
"Okay children, let's take our seats."
South Park
"But first, we're going to hear from a motivational speaker."
South Park
"The state has sent over somebody to talk to you all about the dangers of drunk driving."
South Park
"Oh Jesus."
South Park
"Uh, you you shouldn't drink, because it leads tuuuh bad things."
South Park
"If you don't make the right choices in life"
South Park
"and talk about how pathetic I am?"
South Park
"My name is Michael and I'm an alcaholic."
South Park
"Anyone have anything they wanna tell the groups, for starters?"
South Park
"and I'm really turning my life around."
South Park
"No more blowing guys on Colfax Avenue for a pint of vodka for this cowboy!"
South Park
"Um, my name's Randy and... I just, really like beer."
South Park
"That's the 12-step program, not religion."
South Park
"And it's deadly."
South Park
"Dad! What the hell are you doing?!"
South Park
"Daddy's very sick."
South Park
"Yes, they're the ones that told me."
South Park
"I thought I could just quite drinking on my own, but... it's an illness, son."
South Park
"I can't! I'm sick!"
South Park
"Dad, what are you doing in Grandpa's extra wheelchair?!"
South Park
"I know that!"
South Park
"Dad, you just need to not drink so much. It's very simple."
South Park
"and we wanted to see it for ourselves and come and pray."
South Park
"My name is Harry and I'm an alcoholic."
South Park
"We sure are. That's right. Uh huh."
South Park
"you all kind of messed him up by telling him he had a disease?"
South Park
"No it, it's not."
South Park
"No, he just needs adisciprine."
South Park
"But thanks to you people, my dad now thinks he has a disease that he can't cure himself."
South Park
"Yeah, and I also know a thing or two about cults."
South Park
"I was the leader of one for a while."
South Park
"Dad, you can't drive! Your license is suspended, remember?!"
South Park
"Alright, get my wheelchair out of the back."
South Park
"Is that the line?"
South Park
"Is this whole line people waiting to be cured?"
South Park
"Oh my God..."
South Park
"I just, my dad was-"
South Park
"Here, let me push you to the front of the line."
South Park
"Praise Jesus! Praise Mary the Blessed Vergin Mother!"
South Park
"Praise Christ. - Praise Christ."
South Park
"Stan, those people drink. I have new friends now."
South Park
"Yeah, all right, woohoo!"
South Park
"No, my dad doesn't drink."
South Park
"as Pope Benedict made his way through the throngs of people."
South Park
"Having investigated closely."
South Park
"Randy, uh what are you doing?"
South Park
"Get me seven martini's!"
South Park
"Dad, Dad, Stop!"
South Park
"That means you didn't have a drink for five days all on your own."
South Park
"Dad, you like to drink. So have a drink once in a while. Have two."
South Park
"If you devote your whole life to completely avoiding something you like"
South Park
"But learning to drink a little bit, responsibly, that'sa disciprine."
South Park
"Disciprine... come from within."
South Park
"let's leave the car here, walk home and watch the game."
South Park
"All right! - Come on!"
South Park
"Or maybe I'll have three beers."
South Park
"That's probably okay if you spread it out."
South Park
"Ichi banzai!"
South Park
"Ichi!"
South Park
"Ichi banzai! Kya!"
South Park
"Karutamane-san! What are you dwing?!"
South Park
"True disciprine... come from within."
South Park
"We are out of time. I will see you on Tuesday."
South Park
"Dude, we've gotta hurry home! The final episode of Lost is on soon."
South Park
"Yeah, let's go."
South Park
"He knew he had to take us all home, too, right?"
South Park
"Dad? Where the hell could he have gone?"
South Park
"Oh hey, sorry boys."
South Park
"Later Randy."
South Park
"Heey, see you Nelson."
South Park
"Dad, weren't you watching?"
South Park
"Well, I ran into Nelson from work. We were at the bar watching the game."
South Park
"Two-dollar margaritas! It was great."
South Park
"All right, come on, I'll drive you guys home."
South Park
"Are you sure you're all right?"
South Park
"Dad, aren't you supposed to like, not drink and drive?"
South Park
"I'm not drinking and driving, I'm driving while I'm drinking. Right, boys?"
South Park
"Sure, whatever dude."
South Park
"Oh I gotta pee. Hand me that empty bottle, Stan."
South Park
"Stan, you need to learn some things about being a man! Now give me that bottle!"
South Park
"There's a reason why God made our penises like little hoses, boys."
South Park
"Hold the wheel, Stan."
South Park
"When you boys start driving, you're gonna need to learn to do this too. Woahp!"
South Park
"Shh! Trying to concentrate! Just hold the damn wheel!"
South Park
"Dude, I think you're being followed."
South Park
"Oh yeah? Get off my ass, dickhole!"
South Park
"Aww crap!"
South Park
"Here, hold this!"
South Park
"Aww, it's all warm!"
South Park
"Everybody just stay calm! I can handle this, no problem."
South Park
"I know how to deal."
South Park
"License and registration, please."
South Park
"Sir, why don't you step out of the car for me?"
South Park
"Okay."
South Park
"Sir, I'm going to give you a sobriety test."
South Park
"Okay, no problem. Easy."
South Park
"Stand over here, please? Right there."
South Park
"There! I did it, see?! No problem!"
South Park
"And now touch your finger to your nose."
South Park
"Do what?"
South Park
"Touch your finger to your nose."
South Park
"Wull come on, that's impossible!"
South Park
"Okay..."
South Park
"Okay, hang, ha- ...hang on..."
South Park
"Hol-! Hold on. Wa-hang on, hang on."
South Park
"Dude, what the hell is he doing?"
South Park
"I think his pants are falling down."
South Park
"What? What did I do?! What did I do?!"
South Park
"Keep blowing. Keep blowing. Keep blowing."
South Park
"Aw Jesus!"
South Park
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