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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Galentine's Day (S02E02)

"A bouquet of hand-crocheted flower pens..."
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"and a personalized 5,000-word essay"
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"of why you are all so awesome."
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"leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home"
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"it is time for the greatest story ever told."
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"It makes The Notebook look like Saw V."
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"It was 1968. I was 18"
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"And I got caught in a very strong current."
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"You've heard this story before, right?"
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"Yes, but the drama."
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"were two very powerful arms"
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"whisking me to safety."
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"And two weeks later, he asked her"
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"Well, at least let me try and find him."
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"Imagine how much better that story would be if we actually reunited them?"
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"I bought him some actual towels. He was using a bathrobe."
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"The Senior Center Valentine's Dance"
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"Are we talking a.m. or p. m? Those people are old. Am I right, Justin?"
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"Divorced, dating a gay guy, divorced twice, jury's still out on you two."
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"And Jerry, who knows."
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"I've been happily married for 28 years."
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"Whatever."
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"Finally, Ann and Mark are our special volunteers,"
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"Ask not what your old people could do for you,"
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"What? No, JFK."
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"That is the Terminator."
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"Oh."
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"Mmm. Some champagne?"
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"Uh, no, thanks."
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"Come on. This is Armand de Brignac. Jay-Z drinks this."
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"You don't know Jay-Z's schedule. He's a renaissance man."
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"For now. But think about how much better our friendship would be"
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"if we added doing it."
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"Seriously, I know our marriage was fake,"
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"And I think we should give it a shot, for real."
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"I'm sorry."
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"I've got you"
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"So, there's that one, I guess."
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"Why can't we just do our originals?"
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"I just wrote a new song, okay?"
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"It's about how you can tell when someone's just had sex"
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"except instead of modern rock,"
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"Lives in a little town called Bridgeport, Illinois."
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"Divorced, no kids, worked as a lifeguard when he was 20."
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"Sure. Well, I don't know. Maybe."
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"Well, we're planning to leave around noon, so I'm not quite sure..."
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"For our nooner. Which is a cute word."
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"First off, a bear in a paper bag and a heart-shaped balloon."
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""Yearning, by Dennis Feinstein.""
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"Oh, my God, what if they get married?"
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"Would I call him "Dad" then?"
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"My God. Marlene."
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"Though I did once act as my own lawyer."
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"No, thank you."
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"Wow. I am just, all of a sudden, so nervous to see her again."
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"That sounds amazing. Can we come?"
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"It would've been better. I'll tell you that much."
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"I am just so nervous to see her."
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"Do you have a bag? I have a purse."
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"You like tomato and I like tomahto"
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"Uh..."
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"I mean, that sucked, didn't it?"
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"it's really easy to know if you're doing great"
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"All right, fine, forget it."
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"I'm just saying, you know, it seems to me, on paper,"
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"Yes, nerd."
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"I don't know. I don't feel right about this."
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"Are you kidding me? This is so much fun."
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"He got nervous. I mean, you would, too."
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"Wanna catch up?"
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"Do you think we should stand by..."
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"She's fine. Let's just let this unfold."
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"Come here, sonny. Let me tell you about the Civil War."
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"Grandpa, leave me alone. You smell like death."
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"So Leslie's like, "That's it, I'm taking him home.""
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"You're kidding."
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"I think I just lost track of her in all the chaos."
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"And you can make it all go away if you just gave me a chance."
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"One date."
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"So your plan was to sue me,"
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"and then to use that to blackmail me into falling in love with you."
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"Hey. You guys sound good."
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"As soon as we finish a song, it's dead silence."
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"Hey. Break's over."
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"Yeah, well, these old bags paid for some entertainment."
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"When I'm all alone"
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"Why do you care? I don't."
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"Well, it's been an interesting ride. Yeah?"
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"I got a job at a grocery store right out of college"
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"just for a way to make money."
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"What do you say we pick up where we left off?"
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"You're not serious, right?"
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"Of which I've had four."
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"Hey, Mom, are you okay? Did Frank leave?"
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"Uh, yeah. He just stepped away for a second."
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"My name is Frank Beckerson."
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"Marlene,"
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"you"
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"Hey, we're almost done, so we can leave soon."
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"Yes. I'll take you for an ice cream malted,"
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"and then we can go choose our caskets."
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"you've become completely lame."
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"You know what? We're breaking up."
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"Fine, then I'll make out with Ben. Pass."
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"No, he's my boyfriend."
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"Fine, none of you. Fine."
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"Under my skin"
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"My boyfriend is a lawyer, and he's smart and interesting,"
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"But he acted like a real jerk today."
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"he treats people or something."
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"He's a tourist."
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"He vacations in people's lives, takes pictures,"
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"All he's interested in are stories."
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"Huh."
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"And you're not. And that's why you don't like him."
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"I thought you were just terrific."
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"You sound like Dean Martin."
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"If I were 50 years younger..."
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"Seriously, this has nothing to do with you."
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"If you look inside your bags, you will find a few things."
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