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Clips from The Office - Junior Salesman (S09E09)

"You have a ream of 16-bond..."
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"This interview's over, and I get the job."
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"It does, but still no."
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"Come on, man. I mean, did Trevor do that?"
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"Did Rolf do that?"
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"Oh, you think they're my only friends?"
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"I've got way more friends than that,"
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"This is not natural."
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"based on people's physical appearances."
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"Meredith, I tell you all the time."
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"[Chuckles] Walked right into that one."
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"Next up, my cousin Mose."
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"I've got big expectations, Mose-wise."
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"People person."
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"Okay."
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"My-- my mom."
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"because my mom and I are quarrelling"
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"Dwight's my cousin,"
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"so I overhead him telling my brother Mose"
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"about the job opportunity in the shower."
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"Everyone was in the shower."
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"It's a cow shower, so there's, like"
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"a ton of people in there."
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"So you guys all know Dwight already?"
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"I knew you looked familiar."
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"You used to pick up Dwight from school."
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"You went to X-Men school too?"
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"[Exhales]"
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"When I was young, I spent several years"
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"at a private school where I was told"
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"I would be taught to harness my mutant abilities."
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"copying Charles Xavier's school for gifted youngsters"
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"from the X-Men comic books."
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"Took me years to figure out that it was con."
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"Some people never figured it out."
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"Oh, I have a few powers."
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"And our training included picking carrots,"
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"I don't wanna sit near any of those people"
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"Someone say something."
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"I said something when they were thinking of hiring Jim."
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"Didn't work then."
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"Now look what he's doing to us."
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"Yeah, Jim, this is all your fault."
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"- How is it my fault? - Here's an exercise for you, Jim."
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"Imagine there are consequences to your actions."
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"There are others."
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"But it's Dwight who's bringing in all the weirdos."
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"Yeah, but, Jim, Dwight's a weirdo."
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"We can't blame a weirdo for bringing in weirdos."
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"We can blame a normal for creating a situation"
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"Hey, I'm the one who has to sit"
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"next to this weirdo when Jim's away."
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"I'm in a position where I'm rooting for Nate,"
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"and that just feels wrong."
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"I need to work on my mural."
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"I have some pointy trees that I need to round off."
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"This is Dwight Schrute. Who am I speaking to?"
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"- David. - Jim says he'd like"
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"some say in the hiring process."
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"Really? That's interesting."
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"'Cause I was thinking that since"
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"Jim is only here part-time,"
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"he might not be as invested in the decision making process"
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"as someone like me who's here every day"
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"is gonna be sitting at my desk, near my wife--"
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"this junior sales associate to cover for you,"
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"I am going to have to pay you"
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"only for the days that you actually work."
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"- Oh. Um-- - Yeah."
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"Oh, yeah, so we'll just do that later."
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"No. Why not do it now?"
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"Yeah. What's up, Jim?"
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"Uh-- [Clears throat]"
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"well, it's about Athlead."
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"I'm sorry. Does Dwight have to be on this part of the phone call?"
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"I'd love to be in the loop, David."
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"There's a very exciting opportunity"
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"Yes, okay. Bye."
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"Why you make trees into bushes?"
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"You don't make paper from bushes."
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"Hide, they're giving out jobs upstairs."
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"Thank you."
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"It's dense, like bread."
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"- 'cause they're your friend. - I'm not."
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"They're freaks, Dwight."
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"All your friends are weirdos and freaks."
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"You know who else was a freak?"
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"Spiderman."
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"if he had gotten bitten by a spider"
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"and then got really into masturbating."
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"Paintball fights at lunch."
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"Mandatory paintball."
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"Uh, Wolf, please report to the parking lot"
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"Wolf is hilarious."
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"He has executed me over 100 times at point-blank range."
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"Oh, my God. How I screamed."
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"Sell me this piece of paper."
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"I will pay you whatever it takes."
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"It must be pretty special if you want it so bad."
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"No, you have lots of other pieces of paper that are just like it."
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"So here, just take my money."
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"Okay, good."
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"You're still at the 570 number?"
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"Good, good, good."
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"I have eight years experience"
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"selling electronics in Sanyo store in downtown Tokyo."
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"I was a doctor."
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"Thank you. [Chuckles]"
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"hearing, vision, basic cognition."
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"Trevor is great, but I saw no fire in him today."
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"And this is a guy who loves to start fires."
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"and he's a goblin, or a hobbit,"
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"or a kobold, which is a type of gremlin."
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"[Groaning] No, no, no."
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"I just need to tell them."
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"[Knock at door]"
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"Do you need to be changed?"
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"Are you going to make a decision soon?"
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"I've been double-parked for five hours."
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"They tow after about 45 minutes."
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